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Tuesday 1 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

today I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. looool And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52634) - you deserved it (3980)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, roommate stumbld in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, an passd out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, an go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, an makes more money than me. FML

#20436604
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51759) - you deserved it (3988)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, mah husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46101) - you deserved it (5177)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today during te countdown to midnigt I looked fir ma girlfriend so I could kiss er as 2013 began. I found er just in time to see er making out wit some guy se swore was "only a friend." FML

#20435586
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45422) - you deserved it (3243)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:50am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Yesterday, I went to a concert with mah grlfriend . Some guy grabbd her ass, an I trid to fight him . I endd up with a concussion an a messd up jaw . Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious . FML

#20435818
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42213) - you deserved it (14105)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my wife and I had a fight,hich I thought we resolved!! Later,hile painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about!! She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all!! FML

#20436663
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41995) - you deserved it (5924)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I have been single and out of the game 4 so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML

#20436185
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36639) - you deserved it (6257)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lonely dreams - United States (Nevada)

Today I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away an on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML

#20436199
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34828) - you deserved it (3838)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:35pm - animals - by Enyo - Reserved

2day I discovered that if I turn mah shower off for a minute... then back on again... the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered thathile the showerhead was pointed directly at mah genitals. FML

#20436439
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29100) - you deserved it (8899)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today , my dad has decidd to that as a New Year's resolution , he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. mega FML

#20435279
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26949) - you deserved it (2055)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by why? - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at four-year-old daughter's insistence, I lookd 4 - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

#20436981
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24219) - you deserved it (10157)

On 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by christmaswillneverend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today.. . I woke up to a looool small fre on my roof.. . burning up small twigs an branches . The cause? Last night.. . I threw a sparkling frecracker up very high.. . only to have it blown onto my roof by the wind . It's going to take $2...000 to fix the damage . FML

#20436289
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8418) - you deserved it (46834)

On 01/01/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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