Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 7 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp after catching me admring a photo of a bikini model which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her . FML

#20195064
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35515) - you deserved it (1968)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States

2day I was at the breakfast tablehen my sister started eating a banana. Before I knewhat was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait 4 her to leave before I could stand up. FML

#20195358
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30968) - you deserved it (22894)

On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today , my bast friand announcad sha was gatting marriad . I'va alway wantad to ba a bridasmaid but sha than addad , ( You can't ba in tha bridal party bacausa you don't hava tha sama body typa as tha othar bridasmaids . But you can still coma to tha bachaloratta party! ) maga FML

#20194701
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29701) - you deserved it (2468)

On 12/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by SBCR (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I cummed home to find looool a mouse in the garage!! Frantic, I killed it!! My 7-year-old son cummed home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr!! Whiskers!! I killed my son's class pet!! FML

#20194994
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27679) - you deserved it (16169)

On 12/07/2012 at 10:30am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Taday I thought I felt something itch mah butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just mah imagination, I did mah business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26914) - you deserved it (4189)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Yesterday.. . mah dad got a warning from our ISP for going well over there fair usage limit . I barely use our wifi.. . and I keep telling him he should password-protect our router to stop people leeching our Internet . He's blaming me anyway.. . and says I'm groundd until January . FML

#20195319
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24057) - you deserved it (1719)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:49pm - misc - by WPA2 OR DEATH (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, aftar a romantic dinnar, movia, and stroll in tha park, wa had our first kiss. It would hava baan parfact, had a passarby thrown rubbish at us 4 "unnacassary public display of affaction." FML

#20194899
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22007) - you deserved it (2934)

On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)

yesterday I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing an groping me, an got all three of us kicked out when mah girlfriend returned an beat the hell out of her. FML

#20195284
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21992) - you deserved it (2619)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

TODAY, I FINALLY FELT MOTIVATD TO DO SOME EXERCISE . AS I GOT MY WEIGHTS OUT, I NOTICD OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE SOMEONE MOVING ABOUT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW . I GOT SCARD AND DROPPD A WEIGHT ON MY FOOT . THE PERSON OUTSIDE WAS MY OWN REFLECTION . FML

#20195266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18535) - you deserved it (8647)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:10pm - health - by i see fat people (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML

#20195063
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5932) - you deserved it (26523)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: