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Saturday 27 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

#20135378
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46807) - you deserved it (2406)

On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

#20135099
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21669) - you deserved it (6433)

On 10/27/2012 at 2:42am - work - by geena - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a field trip with some people from school. I'm currently confined to a wheelchair, so I had to rely on my sister to get around. She eventually went off with her friends, assuming that the people nearby would keep me company. Five minutes later, they'd all left me. FML

#20135712
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21379) - you deserved it (1562)

On 10/27/2012 at 4:04pm - misc - by left4dead (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML

#20135128
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18835) - you deserved it (3008)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

#20135226
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17407) - you deserved it (1459)

On 10/27/2012 at 7:53am - misc - by Ohwhy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML

#20135660
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16442) - you deserved it (9687)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by whoreticulturalist (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8117) - you deserved it (30326)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML

#20134961
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8095) - you deserved it (40311)

On 10/27/2012 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Cslouth - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a walk with a girl I really like. Trying to impress her, I mentioned I'd just learned how to do a front flip, and she told me to prove it. I did the flip, but stumbled forward on the landing and smacked head-first into a pole. She's still laughing. FML

Today, I was writing out palm cards and didn't know if I'd spelled a word correctly, so I stared at it for about 10 seconds waiting for spell check to tell me if it was right or not before I realised I was writing on paper. FML

#20135256
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5237) - you deserved it (26493)

On 10/27/2012 at 8:43am - misc - by katier8295 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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