Friday 2 March 2012 
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Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20733) - you deserved it (2677)
On 03/02/2012 at 3:30am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium
Today, I had a long conversation with my fiancé about how smoking menthol cigarettes is not a substitute for brushing your teeth. He still isn't convinced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17741) - you deserved it (2327)
On 03/02/2012 at 10:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17476) - you deserved it (1304)
On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16140) - you deserved it (6363)
On 03/02/2012 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to help a friend move into her new apartment. We were half-way through when it started to rain, and in my anger I yelled that it's like these things happen just to annoy me. Then we heard the tornado sirens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15824) - you deserved it (2469)
On 03/02/2012 at 4:15pm - misc - by wtf did I do - United States
Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15757) - you deserved it (2235)
On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of two years kept digging around in his belly button and smelling his fingers. At one point he shoved his fingers in my face and told me to smell his belly button. He's 27 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15329) - you deserved it (2850)
On 03/02/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by smellybelly (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I vacuumed my car as I'm trying to sell it. After the interior was clean, I sprayed some air freshener. The chosen smell was "new car". I think they mislabeled it, as my car now smells like urinal cakes. I have two potential buyers coming tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14904) - you deserved it (3280)
On 03/02/2012 at 5:19am - misc - by Urinal Fresh - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14093) - you deserved it (1190)
On 03/02/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by Peach - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my hatred for IKEA reignited when I rammed my knee into my hotel bathroom's plexiglass counter top while I was drying myself off. Their interior designer must have have been suffering brain damage when she matched everything with the floor tiles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9849) - you deserved it (3910)
On 03/02/2012 at 4:06pm - health - by Skyra (woman) - Portugal (Setubal)
Today, I installed an alarm app on my phone. Turns out, to unlock the phone and get the ringing to stop, I have to answer a maths question. It took me ten minutes to get it right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8365) - you deserved it (19390)
Today, my family made a fake boyfriend for me on Facebook, since it's been so long since I had one. I accepted the relationship request to try and trick people into thinking I actually had a boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7294) - you deserved it (20508)
On 03/02/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML
I agree, your life sucks (5902) - you deserved it (18298)
On 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by argh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Friday 24 May 2013
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