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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Saturday 21 November 2009

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

#6389255 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (32865) - you deserved it (2300)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by AussieGirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML

#6388093 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (30554) - you deserved it (1570)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:00am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "so does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

#6387420 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (29794) - you deserved it (1576)

On 11/21/2009 at 12:59am - love - by Fail (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a friend convinced me that I should throw a big party and invite everyone to come. After fixing a ton of party food, I sat around and waited for my guests to arrive. No one did. FML

#6390668 (45)

I agree, your life sucks (23810) - you deserved it (2142)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by tealsoda (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML

#6397503 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (23118) - you deserved it (2260)

On 11/21/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML

#6391175 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (23016) - you deserved it (16391)

On 11/21/2009 at 4:44pm - love - by frootloops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

#6388280 (44)

I agree, your life sucks (22708) - you deserved it (3588)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:28am - love - by SeeBrendenBurn (man) - United States (California)

Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two shirts and take one off in one quick motion. After I took mine off, the audience goes "aaah". Then I realize that I had taken both my shirts off as stood there with only my bra on. I was being videotaped. FML

#6393242 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (19840) - you deserved it (4089)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by girl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

#6386957 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (19815) - you deserved it (1440)

On 11/21/2009 at 12:03am - work - by beckbm23 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I submitted an entry for a logo design contest for my employer. Apparently, it is possible to lose a contest even when you had the only entry. FML

#6390858 (48)

I agree, your life sucks (19710) - you deserved it (2486)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

#6396436 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (19158) - you deserved it (4400)

On 11/21/2009 at 10:25pm - animals - by gbabyy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my boyfriend of nine months that depression runs in my family and I think the reason I've been flipping shit so much lately may be that I am depressed. Not five minutes later he decided a break would be "the best thing for us right now." FML

#6390446 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (17935) - you deserved it (5956)

On 11/21/2009 at 2:10pm - love - by Guess (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at a zoo with some friends in Germany. People were talking to this bird and it responded in complete, grammatically correct German sentences. One of my friends said 'Wow, that bird has better grammar than the exchange student!' A bird speaks better German than me. FML

#6389403 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (17931) - you deserved it (3208)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:19am - animals - by bird-brain (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)