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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Thursday 19 November 2009

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend gave me an early wedding present. I opened the box and inside was the most adorable cat I've ever seen! It got scared, jumped out, clawed my face and pissed everywhere. My wedding is tomorrow and I look like Frankenstein's bride. FML

#6366534 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (27200) - you deserved it (2262)

On 11/19/2009 at 8:36am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents. Later on, his mom pulls me aside and tells me to back off, saying he will never marry someone like me and he should be with a nice girl like his ex. They broke up after he found her in his bed with his roomate. FML

#6369403 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (25036) - you deserved it (1123)

On 11/19/2009 at 3:09pm - love - by thenewone (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML

#6367278 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (22662) - you deserved it (1751)

On 11/19/2009 at 10:53am - health - by nolips (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was watching the episode where Spongebob smashes his guitar while playing. I walk into the kitchen to make him a snack, and I hear a loud crash... My nephew smashing my brand new guitar to be like Spongebob. FML

#6366811 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (21867) - you deserved it (2521)

On 11/19/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by maxus - United States (New York)

Today, my four year old got mad that he couldn't find his favorite character on the Wii. So, he decided to smash the Wii remote into my $700 LCD TV, shattering the screen. That was the only TV in the house, and the $80 service plan I bought doesn't cover accidental damage. FML

#6370061 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (19438) - you deserved it (5628)

On 11/19/2009 at 4:14pm - kids - by mizzy (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that if you lose contact with people in your previous school, they decide to spread rumors about you and make everyone believe that you're dead. FML

#6365565 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (19396) - you deserved it (2172)

On 11/19/2009 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to begin jogging since my weight was getting a little out of control and I wanted to do something about it. Guess who tripped on a root and broke their ankle? Yeah. Exactly. FML

#6365107 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (18997) - you deserved it (3523)

On 11/19/2009 at 2:33am - health - by SeeTony (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my dog to the vet because he hadn't eaten his food in three days, was drinking a lot of water, and was peeing a lot (all signs of antifreeze poisoning). I spent $200 at the vet to tell me that my dog is fine and just didn't like his current food. FML

#6367435 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (16830) - you deserved it (3374)

On 11/19/2009 at 11:14am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I finally got an interview at a restaurant after looking for a job for three months. I dressed nice, and the interview was going well until this blonde girl in booty shorts and fishnets walked in. The manager hired her on the spot. FML

#6374426 (48)

I agree, your life sucks (16345) - you deserved it (1160)

On 11/19/2009 at 8:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a old lady on the street told me that I should be wearing a bra because my nipples were visible under my white tee. I am a 37 year old man. FML

#6373189 (50)

I agree, your life sucks (14756) - you deserved it (3459)

On 11/19/2009 at 7:41pm - health - by Mondo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML

#6367653 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (14392) - you deserved it (4168)

On 11/19/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by Sam_Licker81 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was driving to my new home with a lot of my belongings in the car. I could hear things shifting in the back. When I parked, I opened the door, ready to catch my vodka. I caught it- and watched my laptop slide out of the car, onto the concrete, and break into 3 pieces. FML

#6371102 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (6690) - you deserved it (20111)

On 11/19/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by Earths_Venus (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I left class I felt a tug on my rucksack from behind. Thinking it was just someone deliberately dragging me back, I struggled to let myself free and shouted "Let go!". I looked over my shoulder just to find that one the straps was trapped in the doorhandle. Everyone was in hysterics. FML

#6369387 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (6411) - you deserved it (15878)

On 11/19/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by betamaxjim (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)