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Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11199) - you deserved it (96762)
On 03/15/2009 at 12:22am - love - by UH-OH (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6994) - you deserved it (96465)
On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got an acceptance later to a great boarding school in India for my senior year of high school. I sent them a letter telling them I wouldn't go, because I just got back with my ex-boyfriend. I just got a text from my boyfriend. Guess who's my ex again? FML
I agree, your life sucks (13164) - you deserved it (96119)
On 05/27/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by tarini (woman) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7696) - you deserved it (95921)
On 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by Nick (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28707) - you deserved it (95577)
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39010) - you deserved it (95473)
On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. When the police officer approached me and asked for license and registration, I accidentally gave him my fake I.D. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12587) - you deserved it (95309)
On 05/06/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by FakeID (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5666) - you deserved it (95156)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:40am - health - by zappy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, the girl I like called me and said she liked me. After I told her I liked her too, she didn't say anything. Thinking the call was a joke, I started screaming at her and calling her a slut. Turns out it wasn't a joke, she had just hit mute on her phone by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13621) - you deserved it (94677)
On 05/13/2009 at 11:35am - love - by your_mother - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19210) - you deserved it (94356)
On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24400) - you deserved it (94077)
On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)
Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6902) - you deserved it (93993)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24304) - you deserved it (93414)
On 04/18/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Monday 17 June 2013
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