Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

#310419
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13613) - you deserved it (124473)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arkansas)

Today, the girl I like called me and said she liked me. After I told her I liked her too, she didn't say anything. Thinking the call was a joke, I started screaming at her and calling her a slut. Turns out it wasn't a joke, she had just hit mute on her phone by accident. FML

#1900118
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17222) - you deserved it (122706)

On 05/13/2009 at 11:35am - love - by your_mother - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

#2681681
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45334) - you deserved it (122428)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML

#165039
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19217) - you deserved it (122055)

On 02/28/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML

#551399
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13449) - you deserved it (121366)

On 03/23/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by lily (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

#1387325
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24063) - you deserved it (121107)

On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

#29434
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10322) - you deserved it (121066)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad asked me if i started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later he finds my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML

#4092385
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7683) - you deserved it (120643)

On 07/27/2009 at 10:42pm - misc - by bbbeast (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML

#2687233
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10794) - you deserved it (119523)

On 06/07/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

#4235040
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14055) - you deserved it (118911)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML

#506231
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61098) - you deserved it (118781)

On 03/21/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by soliveyerlife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had brought her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the adderall they found in my desk. FML

#1021552
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24231) - you deserved it (118189)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by hatetheroommate (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I waited in line at a drive-through behind a man for ten minutes. I got out of my car, cursed at him, and then asked him to give me one good reason why it would take that long to order. The man slowly explained to me that he had a stutter. FML

#10903041
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9655) - you deserved it (117563)

On 06/01/2010 at 5:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: