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Today, I waited in line at a drive-through behind a man for ten minutes. I got out of my car, cursed at him, and then asked him to give me one good reason why it would take that long to order. The man slowly explained to me that he had a stutter. FML

#10903041
412 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8917) - you deserved it (114270)

On 06/01/2010 at 5:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

#456719
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14799) - you deserved it (113449)

On 03/18/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by its_all_legit - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9839) - you deserved it (113420)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend and I were filming football practice and talking about what guys on the team were attractive and who we would want to get it on with. We didn't realize that the camera was recording everything that we said. The tape was played to the entire team the next day. With sound. FML

#600956
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21879) - you deserved it (112961)

On 03/25/2009 at 3:31pm - misc - by Lady_Luck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

#4235040
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12279) - you deserved it (112947)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML

#19066381
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9017) - you deserved it (112149)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

#29434
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8146) - you deserved it (112082)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13786) - you deserved it (111714)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1133662) - you deserved it (111724)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my dad asked me if i started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later he finds my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML

#4092385
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5960) - you deserved it (111656)

On 07/27/2009 at 10:42pm - misc - by bbbeast (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML

#2687233
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8773) - you deserved it (111057)

On 06/07/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

#17367544
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8275) - you deserved it (110674)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm - money - by Joe - United States (Florida)

Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML

#90754
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16435) - you deserved it (110201)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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