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Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

#310419
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14089) - you deserved it (127227)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was playing Farmville all day, and I was really into the game. I was getting phone calls all day, but I kept ignoring them cause I was making so much Farm Money. Come to find out it was my son's school. He fell off the jungle gym and broke his arm. FML

#5970435
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8065) - you deserved it (126635)

On 10/24/2009 at 3:25am - kids - by stewhart (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

#2681681
371 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47137) - you deserved it (126360)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML

#165039
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20450) - you deserved it (126333)

On 02/28/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML

#551399
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14481) - you deserved it (125840)

On 03/23/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by lily (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12010) - you deserved it (125695)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

#1387325
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25688) - you deserved it (125480)

On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34479) - you deserved it (125463)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML

#2687233
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11924) - you deserved it (124882)

On 06/07/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I waited in line at a drive-through behind a man for ten minutes. I got out of my car, cursed at him, and then asked him to give me one good reason why it would take that long to order. The man slowly explained to me that he had a stutter. FML

#10903041
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10914) - you deserved it (124326)

On 06/01/2010 at 5:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

#29434
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10464) - you deserved it (122488)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML

#19066381
438 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10509) - you deserved it (122411)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my dad asked me if i started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later he finds my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML

#4092385
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7776) - you deserved it (121986)

On 07/27/2009 at 10:42pm - misc - by bbbeast (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)



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