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Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14585) - you totally deserved it (75730)
On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by katem (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had brought her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the adderall they found in my desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14530) - you totally deserved it (75257)
On 04/16/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by hatetheroommate (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2336) - you totally deserved it (75239)
On 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by stick (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4414) - you totally deserved it (74954)
On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8302) - you totally deserved it (74898)
On 03/15/2009 at 12:22am - love - by UH-OH (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, the girl I like called me and said she liked me. After I told her I liked her too, she didn't say anything. Thinking the call was a joke, I started screaming at her and calling her a slut. Turns out it wasn't a joke, she had just hit mute on her phone by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9868) - you totally deserved it (74845)
On 05/13/2009 at 11:35am - love - by your_mother - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5504) - you totally deserved it (74410)
On 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by Nick (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4984) - you totally deserved it (74299)
On 06/04/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by soljaboy (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6534) - you totally deserved it (73956)
On 04/02/2009 at 9:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6686) - you totally deserved it (73177)
On 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by asdfghjkl (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I waited in line at a drive-through behind a man for ten minutes. I got out of my car, cursed at him, and then asked him to give me one good reason why it would take that long to order. The man slowly explained to me that he had a stutter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5034) - you totally deserved it (72525)
On 06/01/2010 at 5:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my physics teacher asked who had implants. I raised my hand. Then he asked me to show him the implants. Shocked at his request I called him a perv. I later discovered he meant dental implants as he was teaching x rays not breast implants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6804) - you totally deserved it (72340)
On 03/07/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by Noname - Pakistan (Islamabad)
Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6532) - you totally deserved it (71885)
On 03/26/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by AzNFoo (man) - United States (California)
