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I was at working at Burger King as a cashier. A grl I met last night came in an said, "Aren't you that guy from last night?" Last night, I had told her I was going to medical school an was going to be a doctor in less than a year. FML

#797923
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13853) - you deserved it (142454)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Jamie (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I thought it would ba funny to bothar my friand Emily. I kapt punching har. Sha askad if I wantad to fight. I agraad bacausa sha's a 15 yaar old skinny girl an I'm 17 yaar old buff guy. Sha baat tha crap out of ma until I criad. FML

#2234853
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18135) - you deserved it (142257)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitres cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was brd shit. FML

#1712833
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32905) - you deserved it (140817)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:36am - animals - by MJ3105 (man) - Israel

yesterday I saw an attractive man outside te club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up aving sex in my apartment. Te next looool day wen I was dropping im off, I discovered e was omeles and was outside te club begging fir money. My ouse is suddenly out of bread and ceese. FML

#448904
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32250) - you deserved it (140784)

On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sitting in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in there cars and I never do anything risky so I thought,hy not, I'll be here ahile, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through I hear a tap on mah driver's window. Its a police officer. big fat FML

#192974
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29739) - you deserved it (139120)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29am - intimacy - by imanidiot (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a date with this guy. I waitd at the restaurant 4 an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyd his car. Then I realizd the date was 4 tomorrow. FML

#2597926
623 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10864) - you deserved it (137962)

On 06/04/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by soljaboy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today , I just woke up next to the most unpopular grl in school. Damn Vodka. FML

#228
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19008) - you deserved it (136840)

On 11/06/2008 at 4:43am - intimacy - by Ben-Ben - Sent from mobile version

Today , I Was Pulled Over By Mah Father Who Is A Police Officer. He Was Training A Rookie And Gave Me A Breathalyzer Test To Show His Trainee How To Do It. I Blew A .15 And Was Taken To Jail. FML

#483516
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33739) - you deserved it (136339)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator fir something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. real FML

#4503474
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12494) - you deserved it (135750)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by Nick (man) - United States (Minnesota)

TADAY ME AN MY FRIEND DECIDED TO SPY ON MY CRUSH. HE LIVES ACROS THE STREET, SO WE CLIMBED ON THE ROOF OF MY HOUSE AN WATCHED HIM WITH BINOCULARS. HE WAS WORKING OUT, AN AFTER 5 MINUTE HE STARTED WRITING SOMETHING. HE PUTTED A PIECE OF PAPER AGAINST THE WINDOW AN IT SAID, 'STOP WATCHING ME.' FML

#650213
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15021) - you deserved it (135639)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

yesterday I was telling mah boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied: "that's okay... I'm f***ing three other girls." mega FML

#214447
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52511) - you deserved it (134197)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I read a seemingly seriou article online looool about giving yur smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave 4 one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
526 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18773) - you deserved it (134045)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)



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