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Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML

#20503939
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25856) - you deserved it (2682)

On 02/12/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by likearacehorse (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents, despite my long-standing protests. Over the next hour, they asked her if she'd ever considered becoming a swinger, why not, if she'd ever consider it in future, and to keep them in mind if she does. FML

#20959018
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37394) - you deserved it (2682)

On 11/15/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was planning on asking out a girl I've been really close to for a few months now. I was with her when I got a forward text from my friend. It was from the girl and it said "noooo tell him not to ask me out I don't like him." I got rejected via forward text before I told her how I felt. FML

#4562834
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35773) - you deserved it (2681)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:33am - love - by Tgreject (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in my psychology class, we were given a sheet that had a list of stressful events and we were to select the ones we had experienced in the last 12 months. I got highest in my class of above an 80% chance of getting a life threatening illness due to stress. Everyone laughed. FML

#8160504
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22649) - you deserved it (2681)

On 02/12/2010 at 6:39am - health - by Stressy (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I woke up to people in the parking lot screaming "everybody wake up". They've been doing this at 7 every morning since I moved in 3 months ago. FML

#18014606
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26063) - you deserved it (2681)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:10am - misc - by Tony - United States

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML

#20126556
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20986) - you deserved it (2681)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by tempted to become single (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband told me he had been cheating on me for the past 8 months. Twenty minutes later, he asked me what was for dinner. FML

#13102808
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35055) - you deserved it (2680)

On 09/18/2010 at 7:13pm - love - by fmldailyyy - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I moved into a lovely basement suite. Unfortunately, the 12 year old upstairs plays violin. She also plays baritone. She said she alternates each day. FML

#18278500
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21346) - you deserved it (2680)

On 11/18/2011 at 12:54am - misc - by guest - Canada

Today, I started speaking gibberish in the middle of the conversation with my mom to see if she would notice. She didn't. FML

#19088881
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23932) - you deserved it (2680)

On 02/15/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

#19526031
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21798) - you deserved it (2680)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

#20472335
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39712) - you deserved it (2680)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend canceled our date I've been looking forward to all week because her dog was having puppies. She doesn't have a dog. FML

#6877661
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28593) - you deserved it (2679)

On 12/22/2009 at 12:57am - love - by CRWMEN (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I visited my friend in a nasty part of town. When I saw the shattered window of the car next to me, and the missing stereo, I moved my car to a safer location. Luckily, though, I have a common car, so the thieves were able to jimmy the lock and steal my stereo without making any noise. FML

#8712450
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20267) - you deserved it (2679)

On 02/28/2010 at 5:51am - money - by unsurprised (man) - United States (Texas)



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