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Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML

#20495981
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23242) - you deserved it (2835)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took a army-mandated personality evaluation test. The results said I had a high chance of schizophrenia and multiple personality syndrome. Part of me says that the test is probably spot-on, the other part says it has to be a mistake. Apparently this is another sign of schizophrenia. FML

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it didn't flush. FML

#1663
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17889) - you deserved it (2834)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:01pm - misc - by frankie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my parents are 28,000 dollars in debt and that my bank account has $27.17 in it. They took my money to help pay their debt. FML

#5695296
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39303) - you deserved it (2834)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:12am - money - by armenta427 (man) - United States

Today, the Internet wasn't working. One girl decided to try to diagnose the problem. It said to connect the Ethernet cable. She started making fun of the computer for spelling "Internet" wrong. I'm graduating with this idiot in less than a month. FML

#20886445
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41847) - you deserved it (2834)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

#21077397
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34783) - you deserved it (2834)

On 03/03/2014 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, we got our progress reports. My physics teacher wrote that I don't participate in class. My mom got mad and grounded me before I could tell her that I raise my hand in class all the time but my teacher won't call on me cause he can't pronounce my name. FML

#5466683
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43770) - you deserved it (2833)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Non-active (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML

#20554927
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33024) - you deserved it (2833)

On 03/22/2013 at 11:42am - health - by wowthanksworld - United States

Today, I came home from work to find my computer smashed into a hundred pieces. My dad threw it at my mom because they were having a fight and my computer was the closest thing to throw. He refuses to fix it. FML

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

#19117584
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28706) - you deserved it (2832)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML

#18891516
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23158) - you deserved it (2832)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got home from work to find my boyfriend sobbing hysterically over the death of his cat. The only cat he could be talking about is the one on his Sims account. FML

#19505597
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24837) - you deserved it (2832)

On 04/21/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend's mother introduced me as his "friend". We've been together for 10 years. FML

#19947212
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (2832)

On 07/16/2012 at 8:58pm - love - by lurna301 (woman) - United States (California)



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