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Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML

#5541044
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65630) - you deserved it (2684)

On 09/29/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by rainedaddy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm travelling to England for an important meeting. I'm Norwegian, and my name is Bård. I have to introduce myself as bored the whole day, because that's how my name is pronounced. FML

#6662033
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31839) - you deserved it (2684)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

#8330425
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27625) - you deserved it (2684)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

#15205063
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37491) - you deserved it (2684)

On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML

#16791372
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34081) - you deserved it (2684)

On 06/22/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by ifmlftw - United States (Michigan)

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

#20023096
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32093) - you deserved it (2684)

On 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm - intimacy - by what the FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML

#20426337
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25203) - you deserved it (2684)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:54pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was grounded by my dad for "popping pills like a gangbanger". I take prescription ADHD medicine and a multi-vitamin. FML

#20863675
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37445) - you deserved it (2684)

On 09/01/2013 at 9:15pm - love - by zephyrgk - United States (Illinois)

Today, my bag, including phone, money, keys and cards, was stolen. In a church. During my wedding. FML

#13103796
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41935) - you deserved it (2683)

On 09/18/2010 at 8:36pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Tirol)

Today, my Dad sat me down and told me that I was adopted. I was unbelievably shocked by this revelation and asked him why he'd never told me this before. His response was, "I didn't know!" FML

#16895867
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39768) - you deserved it (2683)

On 06/28/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by adopteddd (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I had to spend the morning and afternoon waiting for my uncle to take a crap after his hernia surgery. It never happened, and in the end I drove home, only to find the highway just as backed up as my uncle's colon. FML

#17697581
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19578) - you deserved it (2683)

On 09/08/2011 at 4:47pm - health - by wilmerjean - United States

Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML

#17202338
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32483) - you deserved it (2683)

On 07/21/2011 at 10:10am - health - by blah (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML

#20851738
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41435) - you deserved it (2683)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Holding - United States (Virginia)



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