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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had diarrhea at work. While trying to be subtle about the noises, the woman in the stall next to me called me by name and asked if I was having trouble. FML

#17066574
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31161) - you deserved it (2676)

On 07/11/2011 at 1:42pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, I walked into my elderly grandmother's trailer, used the bathroom and went to wash my hands. She had a soft spot in the floor that she covered with a bathmat. I fell through. Right leg up to my hip in the floor, boobs stuck on the counter. My husband and grandmother stood there laughing. FML

#18624537
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23743) - you deserved it (2676)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML

#19545380
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26999) - you deserved it (2676)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm - misc - by thyisnothorses - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

#20163953
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30663) - you deserved it (2676)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by WentInABush (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML

#17748753
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27607) - you deserved it (2675)

On 09/15/2011 at 12:22am - intimacy - by holler - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML

#19631196
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23418) - you deserved it (2675)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

#20830800
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41748) - you deserved it (2675)

On 08/10/2013 at 2:41pm - work - by his word vs mine = me suspended (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML

#7538757
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25039) - you deserved it (2674)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:50am - health - by Schrewt - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

#17639388
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27414) - you deserved it (2674)

On 09/01/2011 at 9:55pm - misc - by Starving Ultimatum (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

#17278350
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26550) - you deserved it (2674)

On 07/27/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by kelsjenks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML

#17415009
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31091) - you deserved it (2674)

On 08/09/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by OyGeeze28 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20472) - you deserved it (2675)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my little sister and I were reading a book together and out of nowhere, she said "I love you". My heart melted and I told her that I love her too. Then she told me that she was talking to her stuffed animal, not me. FML

#4425
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32144) - you deserved it (2673)

On 01/31/2009 at 11:29pm - kids - by Noname - United States (California)



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