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Today, while setting up for a party I was having, I put black lights into our bathroom for the cool bright, neon color you get when you pee. When I turn them on to see where I need to continue cleaning, I see many, small, yellow hand prints on the walls. I have a nine year old brother. FML

#13660294
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21929) - you deserved it (2758)

On 10/31/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

#12376475
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39501) - you deserved it (2758)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, it's been a full week since my last orthodontist appointment and I still can't eat anything besides Slimfast and pudding. FML

#14520919
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20314) - you deserved it (2758)

On 01/09/2011 at 1:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML

#18738638
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29095) - you deserved it (2758)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:33pm - health - by tictacnose - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

#19226146
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31662) - you deserved it (2758)

On 03/06/2012 at 6:50am - health - by FootyFoot (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I had to explain to my mother that faith healing will not work on plumbing. FML

Today, we got our progress reports. My physics teacher wrote that I don't participate in class. My mom got mad and grounded me before I could tell her that I raise my hand in class all the time but my teacher won't call on me cause he can't pronounce my name. FML

#5466683
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42826) - you deserved it (2757)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Non-active (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I told her best friend the plan the day before. I got reservations to a restaurant on the beach, and we were going to arrive via boat. She never showed. Her parents called me asking why she left town to go to Paris. FML

#6926336
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31389) - you deserved it (2757)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:37pm - love - by hoplessG (man) - United States

Today, I was invited to a counseling group for people with emotional problems. I brought the permission slip home for my mom to sign, only for her to accuse me of being a hypochondriacal, lazy, selfish bitch. And my friends wonder why I have problems. FML

#15091359
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (2758)

On 02/23/2011 at 3:37pm - misc - by PissedAtLife (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized how bad my insomnia had got when I tried answering my water bottle when my alarm went off. FML

#20901491
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34520) - you deserved it (2757)

On 09/30/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Overworked - United States

Today, I learned, 90 horrifying minutes into a college exam, that my 85-year-old calculus teacher had spent the last three weeks teaching us the wrong chapter. FML

#20997770
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45450) - you deserved it (2757)

On 12/19/2013 at 4:09am - work - by wasted time - United States

Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML

#8741941
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20710) - you deserved it (2756)

On 03/01/2010 at 3:30am - animals - by mav3rick91 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found a picture of my military husband kissing another woman. His excuse? It was photoshopped. FML

#17817952
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28403) - you deserved it (2756)

On 09/24/2011 at 1:20am - love - by astocks - United States (New York)



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