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Today, there is an annular solar eclipse. As I was buying the last pair of solar glasses to watch the eclipse with, some jerk snatched them out of my hands and bolted off with them. I now have to make the decision between watching the eclipse and not going blind. FML

#19653342
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18310) - you deserved it (2810)

On 05/20/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by VocalizedBoar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

#18072283
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33697) - you deserved it (2809)

On 10/25/2011 at 2:04pm - kids - by mew - Canada

Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML

#18502844
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28928) - you deserved it (2809)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:33pm - work - by microtech - United States (New York)

Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all the kids are out of the house. FML

#20088791
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24304) - you deserved it (2809)

On 09/25/2012 at 9:48pm - intimacy - by kiwi2323 (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML

#6580015
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31385) - you deserved it (2808)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I got fired from my job for not "interacting with customers." That's understandable. The thing is, my job didn't actually include any customer interaction. FML

#5539154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32894) - you deserved it (2808)

On 09/28/2009 at 10:57pm - work - by justfired (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my godmother informed me that the rule of thumb my ex had used for our relationship during a year of cohabitation was taken directly from a Cesar Millan book on "How to train dogs." FML

#7492319
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18605) - you deserved it (2808)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:17am - love - by housebroken (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my religious parents were hosting a family dinner. Not only did we have to wait over an hour for my grandma to finally show up, but when she did, she had her 30 year old boytoy in tow. Apparently, "Granny has needs too you know, hahaha!" Goodbye peaceful family. FML

#17471582
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24984) - you deserved it (2808)

On 08/14/2011 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was at the library doing research for my midterm. All of the computers were in use, so I decided to use my laptop instead. Ten minutes later, I was confronted and kicked out. My offense? Unauthorized use of the library's so-called "Free Public WiFi". FML

#20540861
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35210) - you deserved it (2808)

On 03/12/2013 at 3:03pm - misc - by PhailedMidterm (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked a co-worker out for a drink. She said yes, then my older brother who was visiting decided to come behind me and pull down my pants in front of the office. Then she said no. FML

#86812
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43408) - you deserved it (2807)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:12am - love - by robotzzz (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML

#2447996
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57090) - you deserved it (2807)

On 05/30/2009 at 10:37pm - love - by anoymus (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML

#17566014
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30636) - you deserved it (2807)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:03am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

#17787359
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36900) - you deserved it (2807)

On 09/20/2011 at 10:56am - work - by PC Jones (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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