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Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

#4081805
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63792) - you deserved it (3256)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

#20560852
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51651) - you deserved it (3256)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

#20838513
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50715) - you deserved it (3256)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:34am - work - by lawman (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

#21104869
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46341) - you deserved it (3256)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I worked my boyfriend's shift so he could stay home. I even brought him the free meal I got for helping out. Turns out he wanted to stay home so badly to cheat on me. FML

#21362681
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40607) - you deserved it (3256)

On 02/24/2015 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by xxruby - United States (Texas)

Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML

#7753113
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17408) - you deserved it (3255)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML

#8921523
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28282) - you deserved it (3255)

On 03/08/2010 at 3:54pm - love - by HaleyIsabelle - Sent from mobile version

Today, my father yelled at me for changing 1 of his 2 programable seat positions in his car because he uses both. Apparently, 1 is for sober driving and 2 is for high/drunk driving. Go dad. FML

#7353049
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28163) - you deserved it (3254)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Goobie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss called me into his office. Expecting a long overdue promotion, I hurried in. Instead, he told me he thought I would be perfect to take his son on a pity date, because he is at a suicide risk from depression. FML

#16338194
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34641) - you deserved it (3254)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:21am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, at my job as a produce clerk at a grocery store, I had an entire conversation with my coworker about how nice the new cabbage boxes are. This is all it takes to thrill me these days. FML

#18078433
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24071) - you deserved it (3254)

On 10/26/2011 at 2:36am - work - by insanitycalling - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

#20166313
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27513) - you deserved it (3254)

On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31913) - you deserved it (3254)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47299) - you deserved it (3254)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)



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