Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to a blood drive. The nurse taking my blood mentioned that she'd been called in on her day off, and she swore she wasn't drunk. I didn't know what to do, so I just smiled and blinked back tears as she savaged the vein in my arm. FML

#19466370
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21424) - you deserved it (2737)

On 04/14/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML

#19605689
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18349) - you deserved it (2737)

On 05/11/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United States

Today, playing soccer, I jumped up to make a header and clear the ball away from our goal. I got the ball but some guy kicked me in the face. I was taken off. All the parents were horrified, saying how badly my nose must have broken. Turns out my nose was fine. That's just how my nose looks. FML

#20979759
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36873) - you deserved it (2737)

On 12/03/2013 at 9:03pm - health - by supras (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML

#5942211
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51500) - you deserved it (2736)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:30am - misc - by scarred - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finished working a 70 hour work week. I'm a lineman for the electric company, and worked extended hours all week getting people's lights back on after a wind storm. When I got home, my power was out. FML

#16032358
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37868) - you deserved it (2736)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:58pm - work - by LightsOut - United States

Today, school tuition has taken up so much of my paycheck that the only thing I had to eat for dinner was applesauce. FML

#18889055
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29026) - you deserved it (2736)

On 01/23/2012 at 9:19am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to get new shoes. I'm a pretty tall girl and I have proportional feet. I asked the cute guy who worked there for a size 9.5. He burst into laughter before putting on a shocked face and saying, "Oh wait... You're serious." Goodbye, self esteem. FML

#20757181
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42236) - you deserved it (2736)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by theyre not THAT big. (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my co-workers agreed that I was the one causing the elevator to be over its weight limit. When I protested, saying that I only weigh around 150 pounds, one asked me if that included the weight of my wheelchair. They made me get out. FML

#17861695
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39290) - you deserved it (2735)

On 09/29/2011 at 3:34am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML

#19454762
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23495) - you deserved it (2735)

On 04/12/2012 at 8:51am - misc - by crazydaughter - Egypt

Today, my new colleagues took me up on my idea of a group night out. Perhaps they'll actually invite me along next time. FML

#20911387
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36571) - you deserved it (2734)

On 10/07/2013 at 6:51pm - work - by Loner_Lou (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I took my girlfriend of 3 years out to where we had our first date. I proposed to her. She breaks down in tears as she tells me she's been sleeping with her co-worker for the past year. FML

#13052175
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50414) - you deserved it (2734)

On 09/14/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by ohno - United States

Today, some kids stole all four wheels off my car. They were nice enough to leave a note and some money though, "for the bus". FML

#16019769
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32277) - you deserved it (2734)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by teinage - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

#19965581
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28147) - you deserved it (2734)

On 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by divorce? i think so (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: