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Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML

#20033618
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21364) - you deserved it (2467)

On 08/21/2012 at 9:04am - animals - by jenA - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML

#20964854
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42338) - you deserved it (2467)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:53pm - health - by ChestExploding (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while waiting to do a presentation in class I felt someone flick my back, but when I turned around no one was there. It wasn't until I got up in front of the whole class that I felt my bra slowly sliding down my body. Turns out that the "flick" I felt was actually my bra clasp busting open. FML

#8632694
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21155) - you deserved it (2466)

On 02/25/2010 at 2:05am - misc - by thewordsicantsay (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my ex-boyfriend stole a pair of my underwear, and still wears them to this day. FML

#8553099
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24741) - you deserved it (2466)

On 02/22/2010 at 1:11pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

#13614950
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27682) - you deserved it (2466)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by nothingdoes (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that the lump in my wrist that keeps getting inflamed and sore is caused by sketching and using my laptop too much. Good thing I'm in my fourth year of studying to become a designer. FML

#20546879
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28072) - you deserved it (2466)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML

#20737057
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37897) - you deserved it (2466)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by whoriblemomindeed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years old and got beat up by a group of 10 year olds. FML

#21218239
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7892) - you deserved it (2470)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

#768
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32140) - you deserved it (2465)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my father came back from a business trip in Canada. He handed me an "I Love Canada" pen. He brought back an xbox 360 for my younger brother. FML

#70401
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56101) - you deserved it (2465)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:59pm - misc - by lalalee (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my grandmother told me she would pay for me to get a nose job. I never thought there was a problem with my nose. FML

#12242096
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28244) - you deserved it (2465)

On 08/01/2010 at 6:38am - misc - by Rawr (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)

Today, I found out that I get to spend the next two weeks at my grandparents house, which smells like cat litter, while the rest of my family takes a cruise through the Carribean. They can't afford to take a ninth person. FML

#12096842
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35790) - you deserved it (2465)

On 07/25/2010 at 1:45am - animals - by greaaaatt. - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML

#18097462
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22340) - you deserved it (2465)

On 10/28/2011 at 4:59pm - misc - by Weldingtags (woman) - United States (New York)



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