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Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

#17304859
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34203) - you deserved it (2681)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:15am - kids - by NaomiMadison - United States

Today, my boyfriend had a tantrum because I didn't like Black Sabbath as much as him. Apparently our entire relationship was based on him thinking I did. I've now been labeled "The Queen of Lies." FML

#20108628
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18235) - you deserved it (2681)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I woke up to find my face all red and swollen. Turns out it is caused by the medication I’ve been taking for over a week now. Only in very rare cases it will cause redness on your skin. I’m glad to know I’m special. FML

#5974097
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25511) - you deserved it (2680)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by sexyswollen (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

#6985807
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22525) - you deserved it (2680)

On 12/28/2009 at 1:26am - love - by KittyNeko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that my mother uses my eyebrow tweezers to pull ticks off the dog. She also hasn't figured out that just dipping the tweezers in alcohol doesn't automatically sterilize them. Especially if there is icky dog hair still stuck on. FML

#8958709
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19273) - you deserved it (2680)

On 03/09/2010 at 10:12pm - health - by whoanoa (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

#15205063
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37373) - you deserved it (2680)

On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML

#20426337
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25146) - you deserved it (2680)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:54pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, the stalker flatmate who has been obsessed with me since I first moved into the flat two years ago, graduated. Apparently he told everyone we are an item, because his parents and relatives were smiling and taking pictures of me from their seats two rows ahead of mine at the ceremony. FML

Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML

#20869864
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44832) - you deserved it (2680)

On 09/06/2013 at 2:42am - love - by thissinglelife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my 18th birthday. Nobody said anything. Gillette sent me a free razor though. FML

#7336661
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34270) - you deserved it (2679)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:57am - misc - by Lost (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

#8687085
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24830) - you deserved it (2680)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I get to stand in the unemployment line for the second time in a year because my company can't pay me. My parents own the company. FML

#19181051
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26453) - you deserved it (2680)

On 02/28/2012 at 8:27am - work - by Jaxur05 - United States

Today, after weeks, I've finally reached my goal and lost 10 lbs. My sister got jealous about me losing weight, and told my parents and coworkers that I'm anorexic. Hello, intervention. FML

#16931515
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33348) - you deserved it (2679)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:56am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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