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Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37019) - you deserved it (3032)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. My doctor failed to fix it, but did succeed in practically dislocating the other one. FML

#21099597
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37621) - you deserved it (3032)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:06pm - health - by unlucky - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML

#21371044
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31702) - you deserved it (3032)

On 03/09/2015 at 8:15am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 5 year old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked "mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?". FML

#983
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26495) - you deserved it (3031)

On 01/12/2009 at 4:37am - kids - by Lax - Sent from mobile version

Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML

#9129175
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34467) - you deserved it (3031)

On 03/16/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by please_no (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs while delivering a pizza, and severely sprained my ankle. The guy looked at me lying there, and shut the door in my face. I then got told to "Suck it up, Princess" by my manager. FML

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

#15149295
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35844) - you deserved it (3032)

On 02/28/2011 at 6:21am - love - by misswhiskers (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML

#5940105
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39995) - you deserved it (3030)

On 10/22/2009 at 1:53am - love - by uneek_3225 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I received an overdue bill for my now nonexistent car that caught fire in July. FML

#13713270
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22956) - you deserved it (3030)

On 11/04/2010 at 10:42am - money - by Lisa - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my uncle had a flashback to Vietnam. I'm now missing a tooth and have a cracked rib. FML

#14706011
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36371) - you deserved it (3030)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:28am - misc - by Randall (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me because he is moving. He's only moving 20 minutes away. FML

#19381159
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26302) - you deserved it (3030)

On 03/31/2012 at 8:22am - love - by swim5 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

#20720453
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60576) - you deserved it (3030)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my sister licks all the flavoring off Doritos and puts them back in the bag. FML

#21252905
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38778) - you deserved it (3030)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by UghDude (man) - United States (Texas)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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