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Today, I was taking my dogs for a walk, then it started to rain, and the wind went mad. I ran for cover in the trees near a bridge, slipped and fell into a river. I was soaking wet and my boots were full of water. Then to get back out of the river, I had to use stinging nettles as hand holds. FML

#7767397
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26946) - you deserved it (3470)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:27am - animals - by Jammy238 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML

#14660867
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35709) - you deserved it (3470)

On 01/21/2011 at 10:13am - health - by chelseaface (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

#17973930
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30421) - you deserved it (3470)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

#21414342
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27595) - you deserved it (3470)

On 05/23/2015 at 7:06am - kids - by DENTALITY (woman) - Norway

Today, my girlfriend heard a great quote about not letting anyone drag her down. She took it to mean, "break up with your boyfriend." FML

Today, I found out I need serious surgery on my right knee to remove a tumor growing underneath it. I will not be able to walk for 3 weeks, and the doctor told me to take off for 5 months from work just for full recovery. My father's response, "You'll do anything not to work." FML

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

#8642847
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41162) - you deserved it (3468)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by Ringless - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that while I see a therapist for my trust issues, my husband sleeps with our nanny. FML

#13885002
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43341) - you deserved it (3468)

On 11/18/2010 at 4:23am - intimacy - by nevergonnatrust -

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

#14412798
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36183) - you deserved it (3468)

On 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by ilik3catz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

#12080410
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29208) - you deserved it (3468)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by earths_venus - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was supposed to catch a ride with a friend and go to Warped Tour with her. She called at the last minute to say she was sick, so I told her we didn't have to go. I just got a text saying she just got pictures and autographs with the band I especially wanted to see. FML

#17442115
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37564) - you deserved it (3468)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:56pm - misc - by brittgreen (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

#20665723
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50121) - you deserved it (3468)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was playing rugby. I was tackled very hard at the end of a play, and I got up to find my head bleeding profusely. Not one person offered to drive me to the ER. I had to drive myself to get six stitches in the face. FML

#7771454
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31057) - you deserved it (3467)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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