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Today, I'm precisely one month away from graduating with a degree in translation for the sole purpose of becoming a state-authorised translator. Today, I also discovered that my government has just decided to abandon the concept of authorisation for translators. FML

#21257358
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39869) - you deserved it (3033)

On 09/13/2014 at 7:03am - work - by stupidgov (woman) - Italy

Today, I was talking to a guy at the bar and I told him I was a biology major. He promptly said, "NEXT" and moved on to the girl next to me. FML

#12870
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30347) - you deserved it (3032)

On 02/07/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by biomajor (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42138) - you deserved it (3032)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML

#8551677
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30597) - you deserved it (3032)

On 02/22/2010 at 11:38am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was training a new person. The job included driving around the city all day, during which she decided to hang her head out the window and bark like a dog. I spent an 8 hour shift with her. FML

#12389070
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27840) - you deserved it (3032)

On 08/08/2010 at 10:52am - work - by XxDanno316xX - United States

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

#18069827
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29159) - you deserved it (3032)

On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37057) - you deserved it (3032)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. My doctor failed to fix it, but did succeed in practically dislocating the other one. FML

#21099597
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37620) - you deserved it (3032)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:06pm - health - by unlucky - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML

#21371044
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31696) - you deserved it (3033)

On 03/09/2015 at 8:15am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 5 year old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked "mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?". FML

#983
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26541) - you deserved it (3031)

On 01/12/2009 at 4:37am - kids - by Lax - Sent from mobile version

Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML

#9129175
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34466) - you deserved it (3031)

On 03/16/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by please_no (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

#15149295
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35838) - you deserved it (3031)

On 02/28/2011 at 6:21am - love - by misswhiskers (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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