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Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML

#14493785
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27884) - you deserved it (3178)

On 01/07/2011 at 3:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML

#20079105
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30901) - you deserved it (3178)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by LawStudent (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

#20149952
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19903) - you deserved it (3178)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML

#20708781
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48119) - you deserved it (3178)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by butisavedyourkid - United States

Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML

#20990683
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49603) - you deserved it (3178)

On 12/12/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by justin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML

#21128831
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41933) - you deserved it (3178)

On 05/02/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by thanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke up to my two-and-a-half year old trying to "pop the balloon" in my tummy. FML

#21384638
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27268) - you deserved it (3178)

On 03/31/2015 at 8:56am - kids - by mokki - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "And she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML

#2674765
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49962) - you deserved it (3177)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:25pm - kids - by Shelly (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was walking down the hall from the livingroom. I overheard my mom telling someone how proud she was of her baby girl and how much she loved her. I thought she was referring to my first ever all "A" report card. Turns out my new kitten used its litter box correctly for the first time. FML

#5990004
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26981) - you deserved it (3177)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my husband who asked for a divorce four days ago announced his engagement on Facebook. His new woman's profile picture is my engagement ring. FML

#14842088
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45464) - you deserved it (3177)

On 02/04/2011 at 6:07pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

#16062957
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34863) - you deserved it (3177)

On 05/05/2011 at 11:41pm - money - by MrFerret -

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with roses. She surprised me by getting back together with her ex. FML

#16886494
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40971) - you deserved it (3177)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:45pm - love - by fmylovelife - United States

Today, a co-worker passed me a note with information about one of our cute, new co-workers I was interested in. Her report? Simple: "Lesbian. Try again. They're EVERYWHERE!" FML

#18895505
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20350) - you deserved it (3177)

On 01/23/2012 at 11:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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