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Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

#8568837
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33173) - you deserved it (3266)

On 02/22/2010 at 9:46pm - love - by Crappyfayman (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You know why we broke up don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, you were fighting a lot, right?" Wrong. I then had to explain to him that his erectile dysfunction wasn't something to be embarrassed about. FML

#15879930
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35057) - you deserved it (3266)

On 04/21/2011 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My bestfriend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML

#20864835
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39411) - you deserved it (3266)

On 09/02/2013 at 5:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was bitten by a therapy dog. FML

Today, at exactly midnight, I get a text from my boyfriend saying we were done. I had just seen him 4 hours ago when we were out celebrating my birthday, and asked why he didnt just tell me then. He replies 'I couldn't break up with you on your birthday but i wanted it to be over ASAP' FML

#2323618
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53817) - you deserved it (3265)

On 05/26/2009 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns £10,000 more than me. FML

#2798980
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61988) - you deserved it (3265)

On 06/11/2009 at 11:21am - work - by girlfriday (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

#13521547
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38481) - you deserved it (3265)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML

#21275026
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34118) - you deserved it (3265)

On 10/10/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by JulietMarie - United States (New York)

Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML

#21401985
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29423) - you deserved it (3265)

On 04/29/2015 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by sexandanxiety (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML

#3907328
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40251) - you deserved it (3264)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:10pm - health - by KnuckleSandwich (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my dad and told him I was getting married in five months. His reply: "I gotta work that day." FML

#13636513
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28208) - you deserved it (3264)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:02am - misc - by Kristinmarsh08 - United States (Texas)

Today, I timed my walk to work perfectly so that I avoided getting sprayed by the rotating sprinklers along the street. As soon as I successfully passed the last sprinkler, a bus sped by me, hit a puddle, and covered me head to toe in muddy water. FML

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

#20455625
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33466) - you deserved it (3264)

On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)



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