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Today, I was stripped of my starting position on my high school basketball team. The reason? I was three minutes late to practice. Why was I late? My coach called me five minutes before practice and made me get him a coffee or else he wouldn't start me. FML

#14430499
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36689) - you deserved it (3062)

On 01/01/2011 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss called me into his office to proudly show me about an hour's worth of videos of his recent holiday. The videos were all of goats and cows eating grass outside his window in Pakistan. FML

#16324366
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27378) - you deserved it (3062)

On 05/24/2011 at 3:31am - work - by goatvideosarelame (man) - Singapore

Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes "betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML

#18553811
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26553) - you deserved it (3062)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:08pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

#18827705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29870) - you deserved it (3062)

On 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by Cathy - United States

Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML

#18670300
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27726) - you deserved it (3062)

On 01/01/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by Scarred4Life - United States (Maryland)

Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML

#21364892
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28000) - you deserved it (3062)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friend got drunk. We tried to get him into a cab, he punched me in the face, three chavs then accosted me, accusing me of trying to mug him. I was then beaten up by said chavs and then the police charged me for being drunk and disorderly. FML

#5072563
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40070) - you deserved it (3061)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:03am - health - by DrunkenValor (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, my wife and I received confirmation that she has postpartum depression. When sharing this with the family, my mother exclaimed "I told you she was a psycho!" Now my wife is crying louder and more often than our newborn. Thanks, mom. FML

#14383420
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35157) - you deserved it (3061)

On 12/29/2010 at 3:03pm - health - by ppd_sucks (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML

#19917183
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28832) - you deserved it (3061)

On 07/09/2012 at 11:40pm - love - by sober (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

#20696326
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46157) - you deserved it (3061)

On 05/30/2013 at 10:35pm - work - by heyyoitsapotato - United States

Today, I woke up feeling awful and decided to make myself a nice egg omelette with bacon, toast and fresh fruit. As I went to eat it, I stubbed my toe and dropped it all on the floor. My dogs were very happy about that. FML

#21312082
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29450) - you deserved it (3061)

On 12/05/2014 at 4:00pm - misc - by Dani (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

#761
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20598) - you deserved it (3060)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:16am - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line tells me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I've got a headache, my legs are stiff and my date must think I stood her up. The tech finally arrives, pries the door open, then rudely asks, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

#5272541
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38426) - you deserved it (3060)

On 09/15/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Stuckism (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)



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