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Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

#7518745
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22970) - you deserved it (3052)

On 01/23/2010 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend asked me out was because the fortune ball app on his iPod told him to. FML

#8364969
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23141) - you deserved it (3052)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:38am - love - by amireallyloved - United States (California)

Today, I was in McDonalds with some friends. When I got up to the register to order, the guy there appeared startled by me, and said, 'Whoa, you're really pretty.' No one has ever said anything like that to me before. When I told my friends, they laughed and said, 'Wow. He must have been drunk.' FML

#13836809
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29944) - you deserved it (3052)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:39am - misc - by ugly (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, in front of my family, my brother's wife announced that she was pregnant with their first child. Everyone joked around and said I was next. Two weeks ago I found out that I'm sterile. FML

#15487602
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49902) - you deserved it (3052)

On 03/25/2011 at 8:07pm - health - by dazzla08 -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me with a message that I had to pay $1 to see. FML

#18856263
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26887) - you deserved it (3052)

On 01/19/2012 at 8:46pm - love - by Alejandroc - Honduras (Cortes)

Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML

#20516690
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23537) - you deserved it (3052)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:21pm - health - by NewDrugs (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

#20993322
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35202) - you deserved it (3052)

On 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by ANONYMOUS -_- (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I overheard my dad say "Last time I didn't use a condom, I ended up with Steven, so for god's sake use 'em." I'm Steven. FML

#21244545
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38584) - you deserved it (3052)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my girlfriend told me that the necklace I gave her wasn't a "unique enough gift." I spent two weeks making that necklace, link by link. FML

#21257946
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44720) - you deserved it (3052)

On 09/14/2014 at 8:53am - love - by NoConfusion (man) - United States (California)

Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you". FML

#5033562
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53360) - you deserved it (3051)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my apartment building shut off our water for a short period of time because the pipes were being worked on. It was also the morning my dog had diarrhea on my cream carpet. Not only did I have to clean it up without water, I couldn't wash my hands afterward. FML

#13801774
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27651) - you deserved it (3051)

On 11/11/2010 at 1:02pm - animals - by jordanss - United States (Texas)

Today, I moved into my aunt's house. She had a little too much fun in the sixties and now tells everyone about her many imagined conquests, including her church minister and several has-been celebrities. As a plus, I discovered she has a habit of wandering around the house in the nude. FML

#8920023
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19718) - you deserved it (3051)

On 03/08/2010 at 2:31pm - misc - by Kristopher (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen me up and calm my nerves. I have a 3 hour long meeting soon. FML

#17333290
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29800) - you deserved it (3051)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:05pm - kids - by burn - United States (Florida)



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