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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML

#6245178
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36228) - you deserved it (3006)

On 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by PiaNO (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

#20544337
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47365) - you deserved it (3006)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML

#20854260
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46153) - you deserved it (3007)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:28pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I called my Dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell was. She then informed me that our Dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

#3332242
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51300) - you deserved it (3005)

On 06/29/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by shroomda (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML

#13574162
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33769) - you deserved it (3005)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:21am - misc - by mzgabbster (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my wife, daughter, and I get to spend the next 4 hours in the ER. Why? Because we're all throwing up at the same time. At least it counts as a family activity. FML

#11911346
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26559) - you deserved it (3005)

On 07/16/2010 at 12:17am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I shared the story of my younger brother's unexpected death with a friend. After telling him the story, I looked at him with teary eyes and he looked back into my eyes and said "I understand how you feel. That is almost as bad as when I lost my cat last spring term." FML

#6914184
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31481) - you deserved it (3004)

On 12/24/2009 at 12:31am - animals - by Beeh (woman) - United States

Today, I spent all day organizing a list of electronic parts for my boss. I found the easiest way was to color problem parts in the spreadsheet red and okay parts green. After I finished at the end of the day, I found out my boss is red-green colorblind. FML

#7297645
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26769) - you deserved it (3004)

On 01/12/2010 at 10:08am - work - by Colormered - France

Today, I was closing at work when someone came in ten minutes before close (2am) and placed a huge order. I couldn't turn him away because he's my manager from my other job. He was drunk. FML

#12807710
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27163) - you deserved it (3004)

On 08/29/2010 at 4:37pm - work - by xharuki - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working as a counsellor at a special needs camp when one of the parents came up to my friend and asked her what my disorder was. FML

#10699156
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26516) - you deserved it (3004)

On 05/22/2010 at 9:24pm - misc - by *sigh* - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44135) - you deserved it (3004) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, it was my birthday. I got ONE birthday greeting: from my bank, telling me they were closing my account. FML

#14785892
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29043) - you deserved it (3004)

On 01/31/2011 at 8:55am - misc - by Micawber - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I performed in my school's choir concert. The girl next to me started to pass out, and I grabbed her so she wouldn't hit her head. After we were done performing and the curtains closed, my choir teacher dragged me off stage and said I was getting an F for "creating a distraction". FML

#15368497
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37798) - you deserved it (3004)

On 03/18/2011 at 3:08pm - misc - by musicmaniac13 (woman) - France



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

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