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Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML

#18314926
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28083) - you deserved it (3033)

On 11/22/2011 at 6:36am - misc - by Charles Pennington (man) - United States

Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML

#19211891
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19831) - you deserved it (3033)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:51am - animals - by raven_teen_titan - United States (California)

Today, I'm precisely one month away from graduating with a degree in translation for the sole purpose of becoming a state-authorised translator. Today, I also discovered that my government has just decided to abandon the concept of authorisation for translators. FML

#21257358
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39866) - you deserved it (3033)

On 09/13/2014 at 7:03am - work - by stupidgov (woman) - Italy

Today, I was talking to a guy at the bar and I told him I was a biology major. He promptly said, "NEXT" and moved on to the girl next to me. FML

#12870
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30347) - you deserved it (3032)

On 02/07/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by biomajor (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42138) - you deserved it (3032)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML

#8551677
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30596) - you deserved it (3032)

On 02/22/2010 at 11:38am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was training a new person. The job included driving around the city all day, during which she decided to hang her head out the window and bark like a dog. I spent an 8 hour shift with her. FML

#12389070
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27840) - you deserved it (3032)

On 08/08/2010 at 10:52am - work - by XxDanno316xX - United States

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

#18069827
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29158) - you deserved it (3032)

On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23691) - you deserved it (3032)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37057) - you deserved it (3032)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. My doctor failed to fix it, but did succeed in practically dislocating the other one. FML

#21099597
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37618) - you deserved it (3032)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:06pm - health - by unlucky - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML

#21371044
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (3032)

On 03/09/2015 at 8:15am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 5 year old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked "mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?". FML

#983
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (3031)

On 01/12/2009 at 4:37am - kids - by Lax - Sent from mobile version



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