Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

#20175635
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16453) - you deserved it (2685)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my diet and exercise plan wasn't nearly as effective when it comes to weight loss as I had originally thought. It turns out what really accounts for all the weight I've been losing is tape worms. FML

#6630317
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31123) - you deserved it (2684)

On 12/06/2009 at 4:16am - health - by wormsick (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I drove my mom home from the salon because she was feeling sick. I'm not the best driver, but I was excited that I was helping. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a bump in the road. My mom blew chunks all over. I found out very quickly that she had spicy chicken for lunch. FML

#6958875
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21315) - you deserved it (2684)

On 12/26/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by taylor_eileen - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend of a year decided to confess to me that almost everything he has told me in our relationship has been a lie. This includes telling me that he was single when we first met, telling me that he loved me, and telling me that I was beautiful. FML

#8862978
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32422) - you deserved it (2684)

On 03/06/2010 at 3:32am - love - by ART - United States (California)

Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML

#14380374
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30576) - you deserved it (2684)

On 12/29/2010 at 8:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

Today, my Dad sat me down and told me that I was adopted. I was unbelievably shocked by this revelation and asked him why he'd never told me this before. His response was, "I didn't know!" FML

#16895867
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39653) - you deserved it (2683)

On 06/28/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by adopteddd (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

#20960837
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57772) - you deserved it (2683)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm - misc - by failed brood mare (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a call from my parents that they have decided to get a divorce. My brothers and I just shelled out $5,000 each and spent months planning their 50th Anniversary party that was supposed to be next month. FML

#3507672
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50728) - you deserved it (2682)

On 07/05/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by Annabelle (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband decided it was time to tell me he had a 3 year old son. We have been married for 5 years. FML

#5389483
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49395) - you deserved it (2682)

On 09/21/2009 at 5:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML

#14244337
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26678) - you deserved it (2682)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and left me crying in the street. I then got a text from my mom saying how pathetic my love life was. Apparently, it was a mass text message and she accidentally added me to the list. FML

#14792881
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26584) - you deserved it (2682)

On 02/01/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by isystuff (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to address a flatulence issue with an employee. Other employees are complaining about the smell. I have to continue addressing the issue until it stops. So far, I've talked to her about it 4 times. No end in sight. FML

#16812310
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25220) - you deserved it (2682)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:17am - work - by luroluro - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: