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Today, I drove 45 min from my college to surprise my girlfriend with roses after she got off work. She responded by taking the roses, dumping them in her back seat, and speeding off because she couldn't miss Survivor. FML

#18550642
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28159) - you deserved it (2874)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

#18244080
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27568) - you deserved it (2874)

On 11/14/2011 at 3:45am - work - by Anon - United States (Nevada)

Today, I announced to my family that I got accepted into Harvard. My grandma laughed and muttered, "Liar." FML

#20567796
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38290) - you deserved it (2874)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML

#21231132
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38843) - you deserved it (2874)

On 08/06/2014 at 6:18pm - kids - by whymyroomthough (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML

#16675127
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32542) - you deserved it (2873)

On 06/15/2011 at 9:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML

#20964854
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45198) - you deserved it (2873)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:53pm - health - by ChestExploding (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a customer threatened to come back later and shoot the whole place up. Why? I didn't give him a discount on his beer. My boss's reaction when I called the police: "Why didn't you give him the discount?!" Last week he bitched me out for letting a girl off for being a few cents short on hers. FML

#20983086
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40530) - you deserved it (2873)

On 12/06/2013 at 6:37pm - work - by eat my fucking ass, boss (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after getting stressed out by my parents having a serious fight for hours, I'm now listening to their make-up sex. FML

#21275167
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37366) - you deserved it (2876)

On 10/10/2014 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by housewiththinwalls - Sweden

Today, my boss is still refusing to fire my psychotic coworker, who's made it his mission to insult, annoy, bully and threaten me every day into making me quit. My boss is convinced the guy just has "assburger's" and that the company would get sued if we fired him. FML

#21289781
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30767) - you deserved it (2873)

On 11/01/2014 at 2:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to go see my boyfriend of over two years in a play. I knew that he'd be kissing his female opposite at the end of the show and I was okay with that. I snuck into his dressing room at intermission to find him "rehearsing" with her half naked. FML

#6309781
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41206) - you deserved it (2872)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:51am - love - by irishbitch (woman) -

Today, I was at Wal-Mart where all the aisles had been moved. An elderly woman asked me where the pet products were, so I told her that I didn't know, but showed her where they could be. An hour later, she came back with security. She'd told them I'd purposefully gotten her lost. They threw me out. FML

#13718235
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26902) - you deserved it (2872)

On 11/04/2010 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out that my sister is going to spend the last two months of her pregancy in my house to be with my mother. She's bringing with her her three wild children. The visit also happens to coincide with my end of year examinations in May and June. FML

#14851540
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30451) - you deserved it (2872)

On 02/05/2011 at 11:33am - kids - by stressedandcrowded (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

#16474774
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35813) - you deserved it (2872)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm - work - by corn - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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