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Today, I found out that our water tank has had a dead crow rotting in it for days. I took showers and brushed my teeth with dead crow soup. FML

#6165899
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35008) - you deserved it (2771)

On 11/05/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by aqua88 (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I went with my beautiful fiancée to tell her Grandmother, who's a bit senile, that we were engaged. Her response: "I know he's very nice, but think about the chubby little ugly children he'll give you". This was followed by a recollection of her ex-boyfriends who would've fathered attractive kids. FML

#15616826
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30111) - you deserved it (2771)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:33am - misc - by Joe (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

#20179829
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24069) - you deserved it (2771)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML

#20429745
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43493) - you deserved it (2771)

On 12/29/2012 at 10:50am - love - by awkward. (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, someone in my 8-floor appartment building got an airhorn. They seem to enjoy using it. I can't work out where they are. FML

#20919926
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36267) - you deserved it (2771)

On 10/14/2013 at 9:10am - misc - by STOPTHENOISE (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a woman laughed after hearing my voice for the first time. This happens whenever I meet someone new, without fail. FML

#14022149
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28381) - you deserved it (2770)

On 11/29/2010 at 9:22am - misc - by Username -

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML

#14530558
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25879) - you deserved it (2771)

On 01/10/2011 at 5:35am - health - by dinosaur - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

#17669006
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29861) - you deserved it (2770)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appears that my friends have always thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along' when I talked about guys. FML

#18466440
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31452) - you deserved it (2770)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, the mouse trap I set in my kitchen worked. I caught a snake. FML

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35724) - you deserved it (2770)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today, while at work, my ex-boyfriend came in. I pretended not to see him, hoping he would just pass on by. No such luck. He stopped to tell me that he was there for orientation. My company hired him. FML

#20519937
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29803) - you deserved it (2770)

On 02/24/2013 at 8:56am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a Christmas party when I noticed someone had taken all of the cash I had from out of my wallet. It was a family gathering. I'm related to the culprit but have no idea who it is. FML

#20994219
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38142) - you deserved it (2771)

On 12/15/2013 at 11:47pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

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