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Today, I counted the amount of stuff that my dad had bought within a week: a brand new boat, car, and truck. He also has countless gadgets at his office, including a 60" television. Our house is literally falling apart but Mr. Midlife-crisis won't do anything to help. FML

#17498014
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26469) - you deserved it (2248)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50am - money - by phonemenace (man) - United States (California)

Today, my asshole of a roommate finally decided to move out. Not only did he take his belongings with him, he took some of mine as well. Including my dog. FML

#17493328
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32670) - you deserved it (2248)

On 08/16/2011 at 8:31pm - animals - by busybuzzybee - United States (California)

Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML

#20099948
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23250) - you deserved it (2248)

On 10/03/2012 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a woman started giving me grief because we didn't have any Boxing Day sales. As I explained to her that dollar stores don't usually have sales, she tried to lamp me. It ended by her getting dragged out of the store. FML

#21006865
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31376) - you deserved it (2248)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was snowing. I slipped on the ice and fell in the middle of the road, dislocating my left shoulder and knee. As I was screaming in pain and trying to stand up, two boys on the pavement threw snowballs at me while everyone in the cars just drove around me. FML

#7183146
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30508) - you deserved it (2247)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML

#17493123
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27660) - you deserved it (2247)

On 08/16/2011 at 8:05pm - kids - by Awesome (woman) - Russian Federation

Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML

#19385390
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30497) - you deserved it (2247)

On 03/31/2012 at 11:01pm - love - by spanishsucks - United States (New Jersey)

Today, we had our whole staff photo. We all had to stand up in rows in height order, as I'm tall I had to stand in the middle, at the back. I'm horribly claustrophobic and ended up fainting in front of 100 colleagues, taking down 4 people around me. FML

#19144680
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17484) - you deserved it (2247)

On 02/23/2012 at 7:11am - work - by photofaint - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML

#6406630
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38772) - you deserved it (2246)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to my car to discover a note on the windshield from the city telling me that they had hit my car. On top of that note was a parking ticket, also from the city. FML

#14341
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28095) - you deserved it (2246)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:32am - misc - by lk26 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML

#7162537
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14187) - you deserved it (2246)

On 01/05/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by me (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to bail both my parents out of jail. They'd thought it would be fun to go streaking. FML

#18323291
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25848) - you deserved it (2246)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:02am - misc - by poorchild - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

#19648090
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25387) - you deserved it (2246)

On 05/19/2012 at 6:54pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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