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Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

#19117584
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28027) - you deserved it (2774)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML

#19319473
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24683) - you deserved it (2774)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:46am - health - by J Rush - United Kingdom (Powys)

Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML

#6580015
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30714) - you deserved it (2773)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year old son starts rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly. "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looks at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML

#6620817
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30256) - you deserved it (2773)

On 12/05/2009 at 7:04pm - animals - by Sissy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

#6480893
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55417) - you deserved it (2773)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

#6914931
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33403) - you deserved it (2773)

On 12/24/2009 at 1:09am - love - by Nemesis2747 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that our water tank has had a dead crow rotting in it for days. I took showers and brushed my teeth with dead crow soup. FML

#6165899
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35012) - you deserved it (2773)

On 11/05/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by aqua88 (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

#15166184
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33470) - you deserved it (2773)

On 03/01/2011 at 7:11pm - health - by stillsick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with vision problems. The nurse was helping my mom fill out the paperwork. When asked for her employer, my mom started trying to sell the nurse Aflac, and got into a serious 10 minute conversation about it, all while I'm going blind in my left eye. FML

#16314169
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30965) - you deserved it (2773)

On 05/23/2011 at 3:33pm - health - by Catherine - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came home to my family remodeling our (extremely) out of date bathroom. I was SUPER excited to help them get it done. I walked down the hallway and opened my bedroom door to find a huge, gaping hole in my wall and my room covered in dust. I had to sweep every surface in my room. FML

#13831440
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19177) - you deserved it (2772)

On 11/13/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, someone posted online a listing for a bicycle for sale, and accidentally put my phone number instead of their own. I have received more calls in one day than I have from friends and family in a week. FML

#14574802
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19593) - you deserved it (2772)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by wrongnumber (woman) - United States

Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML

#20187008
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24944) - you deserved it (2772)

On 12/01/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by allbrokeup (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)



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