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Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML

#7162537
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14182) - you deserved it (2245)

On 01/05/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by me (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after working for over ten years at a dead-end factory line, I told my friends I was going to take some business courses and land myself a real job. All they've done since is laugh, mock me, and say that if Clinton couldn't fix the economy, I have no chance. FML

#18350562
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17381) - you deserved it (2245)

On 11/25/2011 at 8:37pm - work - by workworkwork - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm so broke that I hand-washed my socks with a bar of soap that I stole from work. FML

#20058884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21506) - you deserved it (2245)

On 09/05/2012 at 2:27pm - money - by Lauraborealous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's my birthday. I'm a pastry chef by profession. Not only did my family buy a cake from my bakery, I had to make it myself and inscribe it with 'Happy Birthday Dad'. The worst part is, they asked money from me to pay for it. FML

#5181062
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38173) - you deserved it (2244)

On 09/11/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by peter (man) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)

Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML

#6190781
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27823) - you deserved it (2244)

On 11/07/2009 at 12:34am - love - by achoooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on the phone with an elderly customer at work. I had to spend 10 minutes listening to him describe how the underwear he bought was too tight and caused his bladder to leak. FML

#14913113
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20787) - you deserved it (2244)

On 02/09/2011 at 7:41pm - work - by spiderchick23 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to bail both my parents out of jail. They'd thought it would be fun to go streaking. FML

#18323291
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25841) - you deserved it (2244)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:02am - misc - by poorchild - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was entertaining people during an extra curricular school function in order to help "brighten people's spirits in their time of need". After it was all over, I found out that my phone had been stolen. FML

#14186958
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15145) - you deserved it (2243)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by yermom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called my husband, who is currently stationed in Japan, to see how he was doing. According to his girlfriend, he's doing fine. FML

#19174580
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38702) - you deserved it (2244)

On 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm - love - by unknown - United States

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

#20149952
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14561) - you deserved it (2243)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was offered a job that pays far more than I expected, being a high school senior. My parents decided they aren't letting me take the job, saying I should enjoy my childhood. They're also not paying for my college, which is why I was looking for work in the first place. FML

#20960082
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45078) - you deserved it (2243)

On 11/16/2013 at 6:39pm - work - by Remy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got ice cream with a guy I'd met at a wrestling match a few days ago. When I got home, I found out that my mother had been sitting in the parking lot and watched us through the windows. FML

#8011399
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23461) - you deserved it (2242)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the bank to get a temporary debit card since I lost my wallet a week ago. On my drive across the street from the bank to the DMV a car slammed into mine at the intersection, nearly totaling my car. The movie theater I went to last week just called and said they'd found my wallet. FML

#13957675
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16664) - you deserved it (2242)

On 11/24/2010 at 2:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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