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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

#17669700
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26029) - you deserved it (3007)

On 09/05/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by thefrightening1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

#20544337
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47360) - you deserved it (3006)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

#20575675
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30951) - you deserved it (3006)

On 04/05/2013 at 1:28am - misc - by slightlyworried (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was let down for a movie date. As I'd already paid for the tickets, I got my narcoleptic sister to come and sit next to me while she slept, so it didn't look like I came on my own. FML

#20895886
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31870) - you deserved it (3007)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:12pm - love - by cinemasaddo (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML

#13574162
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33759) - you deserved it (3005)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:21am - misc - by mzgabbster (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my wife, daughter, and I get to spend the next 4 hours in the ER. Why? Because we're all throwing up at the same time. At least it counts as a family activity. FML

#11911346
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26555) - you deserved it (3005)

On 07/16/2010 at 12:17am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, it was my birthday. My grandma gave me a hug and a check after wishing me a happy birthday and walked away giggling. I was excited because it was the only gift I had gotten all day. Ten minutes later, I realized that it was actually just my tax refund. FML

#922323
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47603) - you deserved it (3004)

On 04/12/2009 at 3:21am - misc - by suckmeoff (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I called my Dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell was. She then informed me that our Dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

#3332242
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51296) - you deserved it (3004)

On 06/29/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by shroomda (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I shared the story of my younger brother's unexpected death with a friend. After telling him the story, I looked at him with teary eyes and he looked back into my eyes and said "I understand how you feel. That is almost as bad as when I lost my cat last spring term." FML

#6914184
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31473) - you deserved it (3004)

On 12/24/2009 at 12:31am - animals - by Beeh (woman) - United States

Today, I spent all day organizing a list of electronic parts for my boss. I found the easiest way was to color problem parts in the spreadsheet red and okay parts green. After I finished at the end of the day, I found out my boss is red-green colorblind. FML

#7297645
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26765) - you deserved it (3004)

On 01/12/2010 at 10:08am - work - by Colormered - France

Today, I was closing at work when someone came in ten minutes before close (2am) and placed a huge order. I couldn't turn him away because he's my manager from my other job. He was drunk. FML

#12807710
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27162) - you deserved it (3004)

On 08/29/2010 at 4:37pm - work - by xharuki - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working as a counsellor at a special needs camp when one of the parents came up to my friend and asked her what my disorder was. FML

#10699156
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26508) - you deserved it (3004)

On 05/22/2010 at 9:24pm - misc - by *sigh* - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44125) - you deserved it (3004) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins



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