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Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML

#20398380
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21294) - you deserved it (3059)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

#20696326
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46150) - you deserved it (3059)

On 05/30/2013 at 10:35pm - work - by heyyoitsapotato - United States

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

Today, I woke up feeling awful and decided to make myself a nice egg omelette with bacon, toast and fresh fruit. As I went to eat it, I stubbed my toe and dropped it all on the floor. My dogs were very happy about that. FML

#21312082
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29436) - you deserved it (3059)

On 12/05/2014 at 4:00pm - misc - by Dani (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

#761
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20581) - you deserved it (3058)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:16am - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML

#14542249
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31391) - you deserved it (3058)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:45am - love - by Username -

Today, my step-dad tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML

#20765605
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44416) - you deserved it (3058)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:37pm - misc - by buttuglyforeveralone :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML

#20893921
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39836) - you deserved it (3058)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:47am - kids - by cuntsmom (woman) - United States

Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML

#20990683
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48082) - you deserved it (3058)

On 12/12/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by justin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML

#21333974
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38997) - you deserved it (3058)

On 01/09/2015 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

#20479072
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31845) - you deserved it (3057)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, a middle-aged customer tried to pay for a $2 ice cream bar with a credit card. It was declined, so he made me swipe it again. Declined. "Quit touching the metal strip," he scowled. I held the outer edge of it and swiped. Declined. He then bitched me out as his mother paid for him. FML

Today, a customer came in to the Pizza store where I work and complained that the food they had purchased had a strand of black hair in it. After some deliberation, my boss decided to fire me. He is the only staff member there with black hair. I shaved my hair 2 weeks ago. FML

#965793
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79050) - you deserved it (3056)

On 04/14/2009 at 7:18am - work - by hcfan (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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