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Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML

#19374256
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22543) - you deserved it (3040)

On 03/30/2012 at 1:37am - misc - by rozziepop - United States (California)

Today, after listening to a group of my friends ranting on about how much they love babies and can't wait to have them, I got to witness their looks of horror and disgust as I expressed my desire to not have children. I also happened to be the only girl there. FML

#21335310
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29320) - you deserved it (3040)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "And she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML

#2674765
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48242) - you deserved it (3039)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:25pm - kids - by Shelly (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

#20081621
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28806) - you deserved it (3039)

On 09/21/2012 at 12:51am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving home, when some kid on a motorbike shot in front of me from the pavement, almost running me off the road. When I confronted him, he screamed, "Watch where you're going next time!" If I could flush every last one of these human turds from the toilet of life, I would. FML

#19698892
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18140) - you deserved it (3039)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:10pm - misc - by cunting cunts (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I went to the pool. As I started going up the steps to use the water slide, a kid no older than 10 yanked my swim trunks down to "see what's down there." FML

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

#20916778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40546) - you deserved it (3039)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:44pm - health - by jnisla (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

#79769
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58146) - you deserved it (3038)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by killmenow (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I discovered my parents have spent my college fund because "2012 will happen" before I graduate. FML

#14561634
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44787) - you deserved it (3039)

On 01/13/2011 at 12:48am - money - by skyhigh - United States (Texas)

Today, my entire family of five is sharing one roll of toilet paper. My parents refuse to buy any, because my father can get it free from his work. He's forgotten to bring any home every day without fail for the past seven days. FML

#14544910
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24190) - you deserved it (3038)

On 01/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I bought a car. After just ten minutes, my hub caps had been stolen. FML

#16458606
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28442) - you deserved it (3038)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:25pm - money - by GTR - United Kingdom

Today, I got into my car after a long shift at work. When I looked in my rear view mirror, a horrifyingly evil face grinned at me from the back window. I leaped out of the car, only to be chased around by two people in clown masks. It turned out to be a prank set up by my co-workers. FML

#18112365
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28552) - you deserved it (3038)

On 10/30/2011 at 3:13pm - work - by Katrin - Norway

Today, I lost my phone. On the bright side, someone found it. On the downside, they won't give it back. FML

#18105886
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27932) - you deserved it (3038)

On 10/29/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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