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Today, I was watching a movie with my sister, my roommate, and my girlfriend. Half way through the movie, my girlfriend left the room and texted me that she was breaking up with me. She then came back in the room, sat on my bed, and enjoyed the rest of the movie with us. FML

#5924772
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42688) - you deserved it (3016)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Small_Fry_Hero (man) - United States (California)

Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML

#7256679
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43085) - you deserved it (3016)

On 01/10/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, after a small fight with my girlfriend, I started to miss her, so I typed her name into Google on a whim. Surprisingly, I find a link to a blog in which the owner describes his ongoing effort to seduce my girl. During times she told me she was alone. Thanks babe. FML

#13442639
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27032) - you deserved it (3016)

On 10/14/2010 at 4:00am - love - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML

#17575215
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30585) - you deserved it (3016)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I threw out my back while trying to put together my new ergonomic chair, which was supposed to help my bad back. FML

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

#13235832
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38565) - you deserved it (3015)

On 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Jake - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML

#20479640
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24784) - you deserved it (3015)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:18pm - animals - by peteswentzbass - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my parents gave me my birthday present. Two weeks ago, I ordered an xbox online. Three days ago, it came to my house, and my parents thought they could save money by putting wrapping paper on it, and giving it to me for my birthday. That's all they got me. FML

#13347078
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30193) - you deserved it (3014)

On 10/06/2010 at 8:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML

#20661009
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42213) - you deserved it (3014)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I was diagnosed with strep throat. My mom wasted no time accusing me of whoring around and claiming that most people get strep from performing oral sex. FML

#20750267
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42418) - you deserved it (3013)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:58pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I was told that I have to apply to keep the job that I've held for the past two years. There are so many other applicants that it's basically a free-for-all. FML

#20813366
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41508) - you deserved it (3013)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:47pm - work - by TheStressComesFree (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my car was broken into, on the same night I stayed up late researching how to install my new car alarm. FML

#20933464
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37302) - you deserved it (3013)

On 10/25/2013 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

#21149559
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40416) - you deserved it (3013)

On 05/23/2014 at 8:09pm - misc - by ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - Ireland (Dublin)



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