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Today, I learnt that the girl with who I've being going out for 6 months, has been sleeping with every guy around except one. Guess who? FML

#379
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39126) - you deserved it (3308)

On 11/24/2008 at 1:08am - love - by lectro - Sent from mobile version

Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML

#6668848
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22520) - you deserved it (3308)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out after spending my life's income on paying for my grandma's cancer treatment that she has been faking it. FML

#20859354
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56419) - you deserved it (3308)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:48pm - health - by scammed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I held the door for an elderly woman. As she walked through, she looked at me and told me I was a very handsome man and that I should meet her grandson. The woman was my grandmother, and yes, I'm straight. FML

#20978372
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44338) - you deserved it (3308)

On 12/02/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by rick - United States (Alabama)

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46437) - you deserved it (3308)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

#21405071
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30104) - you deserved it (3308)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

#20991671
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41661) - you deserved it (3307)

On 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by thank u usa (man) - Germany

Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked: "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML

#10918883
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29148) - you deserved it (3306)

On 06/02/2010 at 11:05am - misc - by Kagura - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML

#20922948
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40059) - you deserved it (3306)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by Awahso - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

#21324616
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26694) - you deserved it (3306)

On 12/26/2014 at 9:58am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

#21387249
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29751) - you deserved it (3306)

On 04/03/2015 at 9:57pm - intimacy - by lameows - United States

Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML

#21359275
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38373) - you deserved it (3305)

On 02/19/2015 at 3:45pm - money - by D: - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

#8540042
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22746) - you deserved it (3304)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:17am - love - by shwasted (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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