Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

#20459473
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28444) - you deserved it (2966)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, during my family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML

#20767424
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49014) - you deserved it (2966)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I installed high performance brakes on my car after fearing that my old brake system was to weak and I could get into a crash. On the test drive a car in front of me stopped short. My new brakes worked, the ones on the car behind me didn't. I now have whiplash and a totalled car. FML

#1861199
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46280) - you deserved it (2965)

On 05/11/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by Lex (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while shopping with my mother, she handed me a frozen turkey to put in the cart, but ended up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant battered eggplant, and I think I'm now impotent. FML

#8774277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19699) - you deserved it (2965)

On 03/02/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by beateneggs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that the friend I stayed up with for nights on end, talking out of depression and suicide, has 'politely' posted up on facebook that he secretly hates me. FML

#13508700
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26711) - you deserved it (2965)

On 10/19/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend told me that her parents have a bet going on when we are going to break up. FML

#14381154
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25072) - you deserved it (2965)

On 12/29/2010 at 10:24am - love - by ... -

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

#17396996
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23883) - you deserved it (2965)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:14pm - kids - by SheaLili - United States (California)

Today, at work, I was supposed to have an easy two-hour shift, after which I was planning on attending a party that had been arranged to celebrate my graduation. Nearly six hours later, I am just getting home after being super busy and shorthanded at work for hours. I missed my own party. FML

#16052456
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28746) - you deserved it (2965)

On 05/05/2011 at 12:44am - work - by cstokes (woman) - United States

Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML

#21177954
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43122) - you deserved it (2965)

On 06/17/2014 at 11:28am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after years of waiting, my mom and I finally received a check from Child Support Services. Excited, I opened it up to find a check from my dad, written out for 45 cents. Which pays for maybe half a loaf of bread. FML

#13350704
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29094) - you deserved it (2964)

On 10/07/2010 at 12:39am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML

#20103879
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21123) - you deserved it (2964)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:28am - health - by EastOneTen - United States

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

#20479072
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30949) - you deserved it (2964)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went directly from the shopping mall to the hospital. My sister had slammed my hand in the car door, all because I considered purchasing a dress that looked like something she might buy for herself. FML

#21235533
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39419) - you deserved it (2964)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:34am - health - by vicious_fashion (woman) - United States (Idaho)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: