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Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

#20419133
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35849) - you deserved it (3617)

On 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Chanman1924 - United States

Today, a customer wanted a military discount for buying two 39 cent Slim Jims. I work at an auto parts store. FML

#20854690
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37963) - you deserved it (3617)

On 08/26/2013 at 1:51am - work - by luvmypony (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML

#21265921
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41195) - you deserved it (3617)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML

#17649932
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34913) - you deserved it (3616)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:33am - health - by whatdidIdo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML

#18260922
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33382) - you deserved it (3616)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:23am - love - by dharp7 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

#20490582
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52152) - you deserved it (3616)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

#20689805
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48260) - you deserved it (3616)

On 05/27/2013 at 6:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

#21287735
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34565) - you deserved it (3616)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

#19504984
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30489) - you deserved it (3615)

On 04/21/2012 at 4:36am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30968) - you deserved it (3615)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after I have spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confesses she's a mental patient who stole someone elses identity. She was telling the truth. FML

#5811757
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41104) - you deserved it (3614)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by IMayBeAFool (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my college professor handed every student a note card and told us to rate his looks from 1 to 5. Is this what I pay $20,000 a year for? FML

#14716762
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31578) - you deserved it (3614)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:45am - misc - by SLOMan90 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband decided to be helpful and do all the laundry, including pre-treating all the stains. He felt that Clorox Clean-Up with Bleach would be the most effective. FML

#8374594
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24403) - you deserved it (3614)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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