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Today, a friend complimented me on my "smoky eyeshadow". I wasn't wearing eye makeup. She was complimenting the result of my insomnia. FML

#20904600
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38734) - you deserved it (2894)

On 10/02/2013 at 12:22pm - health - by Tired (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I drove by a restaurant I ate at yesterday. I write a food review column for my college paper, and I've tried everything on their menu. They were being closed down today because a large amount of rat droppings was found in their food supplies. FML

Today, I discovered that instead of being a harmless way to relax after a rough day, parking in an empty lot apparently means you are either dealing drugs or want to commit suicide. I was detained, my car was searched and I was grilled about my happiness. Great stress relief, eh? FML

Today, my parents took me on a plane ride for a vacation in Hong Kong. What they didn't tell me was that the "vacation" is extended for three years. FML

#17297166
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42789) - you deserved it (2893)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:37am - misc - by xxxkkxxx - Hong Kong

Today, the girl I've had a crush on decided she wanted to see a movie with me. I tried to hold her hand during the movie and it was great for about 4 minutes. Then she said "Can I have my hand back?" FML

#1552
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19909) - you deserved it (2892)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:12am - love - by vargasm - United States (New York)

Today, after weeks of allowing my parents to borrow money, I got a check for $2000. I took it to the bank only to find out it was fake. FML

#13094289
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26330) - you deserved it (2892)

On 09/18/2010 at 1:39am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I paid £140 for a train ticket. All the seats were full. When I sat in the corridor the guard yelled at me. I paid £140 to stand outside a stinking train toilet for 7 hours. FML

#15858799
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27496) - you deserved it (2892)

On 04/20/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Sivvus (woman) - Reserved

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

#17063070
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57198) - you deserved it (2892)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

#19391637
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38186) - you deserved it (2892)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by ohgod... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML

#259923
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69018) - you deserved it (2891)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend of two years dumped me, because I'd changed too much for her to bear, and I was breaking her heart. How did I change? I got braces. FML

#13713440
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32380) - you deserved it (2891)

On 11/04/2010 at 11:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, someone actually thought it was appropriate to compare my mother's death to the death of their cat. FML

#19125744
203 comments

Today, I left hospital after a three-night stay. Whilst waiting for my taxi to arrive, my mother called me in hysterics wanting to know where I was, because the police had called her and told her I had gone missing. Turns out my doctor "forgot" to tell anyone that I was discharged. FML



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