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Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother thinks I'm a loser and a scumbag. We haven't even met yet. FML

#16807488
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29641) - you deserved it (3171)

On 06/22/2011 at 11:00pm - love - by arekusa - United States (New York)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

#20864245
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39867) - you deserved it (3171)

On 09/02/2013 at 7:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML

#21128831
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41832) - you deserved it (3171)

On 05/02/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by thanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a phone call for a interview at Target at 4:30 pm. I got super excited, so I got dressed up and headed over there. I tell the manager that I am there for my interview. He doesn't know what I'm talking about. My friends had prank called me. FML

#5454109
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36702) - you deserved it (3170)

On 09/24/2009 at 8:11pm - work - by Pho_Rheal (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice and we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML

#6706699
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24263) - you deserved it (3170)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

#8819773
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22921) - you deserved it (3170)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Heather (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

#14234444
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34968) - you deserved it (3170)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:05am - intimacy - by biblewanker - Australia

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

#14234557
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29204) - you deserved it (3170)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:23am - health - by BYUwildchild - United States

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

#18803544
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24420) - you deserved it (3170)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

#20189568
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39020) - you deserved it (3170)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47724) - you deserved it (3170)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML

#1935923
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34797) - you deserved it (3169)

On 05/14/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by overlandparkmommie (woman) - United States

Today, my dad woke me up 3 hours early, after I had been up very late the night before, because something "awesome" happened. Apparently the cashier at Dunkin' Donuts and I share the same first name. Thanks Dad. FML

#17329183
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27054) - you deserved it (3169)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:07am - misc - by tired (woman) - United States



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