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Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

#20473074
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29172) - you deserved it (2885)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:49pm - work - by me - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

#20752461
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42210) - you deserved it (2885)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, I got yelled at by my mom for not being surprised enough at my surprise birthday party. She'd told me about it while drunk the night before. FML

#20870923
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42377) - you deserved it (2885)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by areyoukiddingme - United States

Today, was a nice day, so I opened the sunroof and all the windows in my car. My hair started flying around and at one point it went out the sunroof. My friends thought it would be funny to close my hair in the sunroof. They laughed until they couldn't open it up again. It short-circuited. FML

#5043249
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38878) - you deserved it (2884)

On 09/04/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by badhairday (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out my fiancé is in a long distance relationship with his ex. Not only do we live on the same island, he's also my neighbor and my co-worker. FML

#9134899
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24896) - you deserved it (2884)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:14pm - love - by KMAC (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

#16812585
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37722) - you deserved it (2884)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:54am - money - by alo1434 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML

#20888617
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42528) - you deserved it (2884)

On 09/20/2013 at 1:52am - misc - by wat - United States (California)

Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML

#13574162
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32117) - you deserved it (2883)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:21am - misc - by mzgabbster (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML

#19679024
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14966) - you deserved it (2884)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by KieRendan (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

#19409952
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20076) - you deserved it (2883)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (2883)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34851) - you deserved it (2883)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)



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