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Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

#6316849
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32868) - you deserved it (3026)

On 11/15/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by redisnotmycolor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going out with my supermodel-gorgeous friend, so I put extra effort into looking good. I thought I looked pretty good, but when we got to the station, a drunk old man looked at us and loudly announced "That's always the way it is, there's a fit one and an ugly one". FML

#7316718
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29040) - you deserved it (3026)

On 01/13/2010 at 9:06am - love - by uglyone (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

#14234557
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27630) - you deserved it (3026)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:23am - health - by BYUwildchild - United States

Today, I'm the coach of a football team. To celebrate winning a game, they poured a cooler of blue Gatorade over my head. This would've been great, if not for the fact that I'm highly allergic to blue food dye. FML

#16256468
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35936) - you deserved it (3026)

On 05/19/2011 at 7:32pm - health - by blue. -

Today, I got into my car after a long shift at work. When I looked in my rear view mirror, a horrifyingly evil face grinned at me from the back window. I leaped out of the car, only to be chased around by two people in clown masks. It turned out to be a prank set up by my co-workers. FML

#18112365
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (3026)

On 10/30/2011 at 3:13pm - work - by Katrin - Norway

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

#18069827
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28998) - you deserved it (3026)

On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

#20626458
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42938) - you deserved it (3026)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML

#5053287
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43773) - you deserved it (3025)

On 09/05/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by HotCurry (man) - United States

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

#13444115
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29085) - you deserved it (3025)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Reserved

Today, my father was telling me that one of the benefits about his job was that the family could get discounts, then asked if I'd like some. My dad's a plastic surgeon. FML

#17826204
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25613) - you deserved it (3025)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:17am - work - by ouch. (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML

#20041168
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17971) - you deserved it (3025)

On 08/25/2012 at 3:11pm - animals - by missTyfied (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

#20858175
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41190) - you deserved it (3025)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by notsolucky - United States (Connecticut)



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