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Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that "my school was too expensive and he couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii, apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML

#5603956
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37023) - you deserved it (2905)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:18pm - misc - by ill (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sat for 3 hours at my boyfriend's Christmas celebrations. He has 22 cousins. They open presents one at a time. In silence. I got nothing. FML

#6933166
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29201) - you deserved it (2905)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - love - by Earths_Venus (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. On our way to the Space Needle I was pulled over and promptly arrested. Apparently, I had recently purchased a car from a man who had robbed a jewelery store. The ring is now evidence. FML

#3860053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55386) - you deserved it (2905)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:19pm - love - by diamondsareforever (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my cat was yowling and meowing pathetically outside my door, I checked she had food, water, and she followed me back up to my room. She nestled down on the radiator behind my desk, then threw up all over it. The cat sick is stuck inside the radiator, and it smells just lovely. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

#7518745
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21484) - you deserved it (2905)

On 01/23/2010 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

#19870178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21658) - you deserved it (2905)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)

Today, my "friends" set me up on a blind date with a guy who according to their description, sounded perfect in just about every way. He turned out to be my obsessive ex, and this is their idea of a funny prank. FML

#20402162
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29717) - you deserved it (2905)

On 12/16/2012 at 2:15pm - love - by lovelychris - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML

#20684874
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42677) - you deserved it (2906)

On 05/25/2013 at 1:09am - work - by mmmretail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was getting on a bus, the driver shut the door on me while I was half way inside. Instead of apologizing to me, he criticized me for getting in the way. FML

#6049561
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27463) - you deserved it (2905)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by insignificant (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered my former boss from the job I quit 3 months is now my boss at my new job. He was the reason I quit my old job. FML

#11602306
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42886) - you deserved it (2905)

On 07/02/2010 at 12:21am - work - by lmao4eva93 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a zero on my math test. My teacher was convinced that I had written the answers on my arm. No answers, just really thick, black arm hair. FML

#13380605
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29499) - you deserved it (2904)

On 10/09/2010 at 4:54pm - misc - by Sean - United States (California)

Today, after being admitted to the emergency room for severe abdominal pain, my boyfriend shouted out in front of my parents, "At least she isn't pregnant!" FML

#17959837
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24111) - you deserved it (2905)

On 10/11/2011 at 1:43pm - health - by letmedienow - United States

Today, a customer told my boss I was too pushy because I asked her what bra size she wears. I work at a lingerie store. I got a stern lecture from my boss. FML

#21240726
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38406) - you deserved it (2904)

On 08/18/2014 at 10:59pm - work - by sorrynotsorry (woman) - United States (Washington)



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