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Today, I was robbed of five bucks by a vending machine that said "Enjoy Life!" FML

#13220613
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26322) - you deserved it (3635)

On 09/27/2010 at 9:09am - misc - by lovelife - United States

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

#2173533
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65686) - you deserved it (3634)

On 05/22/2009 at 4:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

#17862767
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27718) - you deserved it (3634)

On 09/29/2011 at 10:32am - work - by crushed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. Her excuse? I was the one that had initially introduced them. FML

#21298582
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38131) - you deserved it (3634)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:59pm - intimacy - by johnnycomehelpme - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

#21279992
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32106) - you deserved it (3634)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:30pm - kids - by KayyElOh94 - United States

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML

#3497280
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41219) - you deserved it (3633)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Disgusted (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was delivering pizzas for my summer job. I got a big order to deliver for a fellow graduate's party. While I was being paid for the order my friend shows up and says "Don't pay him, his parents are rich, he can handle it." Then they shut the door and took off. The bill was $75. FML

#3100953
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54249) - you deserved it (3633)

On 06/21/2009 at 8:37pm - work - by blahpizzablah (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

#20068805
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26591) - you deserved it (3633)

On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while waiting for the start of a concert, the man behind me decided to pee into a cup. Then the cup tipped over and drained all down my leg. FML

Today, I celebrated my 18th birthday. Alone. My only birthday wish came from the police officer who gave me a ticket. FML

#6190643
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32787) - you deserved it (3632)

On 11/07/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by bdayloser (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

#12474079
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47380) - you deserved it (3632)

On 08/12/2010 at 8:02am - intimacy - by ScarredEars - United States

Today, it was my last day at work. I was offered a better job and accepted. Not wanting to leave my present boss hanging, I asked for time to give notice. While I trained my replacement, the owner at the new job had time to think about how slow the season is, and he decided not to fill the position. FML

#6748565
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28648) - you deserved it (3631)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:12am - work - by BadKitty42 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after 3 long hours of mowing the lawn with a rusty lawn mower, my dad finally decided to tell me that he didn't get any money out to pay me with. The reason? He didn't think girls could mow a lawn and was expecting me to give up. FML



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