Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML

#13079046
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34399) - you deserved it (3217)

On 09/16/2010 at 9:30pm - love - by ccblock (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML

#8361510
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37640) - you deserved it (3217)

On 02/17/2010 at 12:07am - health - by Sophie - United States (Texas)

Today, my minivan broke down on the side of the highway. I'm out of work and can't afford a cell phone, so I resorted to standing at the back of my van holding a "HELP" sign. About an hour went by, in which time I was passed by a cop car, a firetruck, and a car that said "Roadside Assistance." FML

#12858373
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32371) - you deserved it (3217)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:11pm - misc - by Forded (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML

Today, I got the earlier bus to avoid my ex after a painful breakup. He had the same idea. FML

#21370976
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77) - you deserved it (3217)

On 03/09/2015 at 3:52am - love - by sadex -

Today, I got demoted at my job. Instead of working with patients, they want me to file. The thing is, I'm a volunteer; I work for them for free. FML

#1523
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18631) - you deserved it (3216)

On 01/17/2009 at 10:44pm - work - by wasted_life - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML

#1094822
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64659) - you deserved it (3216)

On 04/18/2009 at 7:11pm - health - by crapgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed that whenever someone belches, I immediately think of my boyfriend. FML

#19636097
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16655) - you deserved it (3216)

On 05/17/2012 at 8:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

#20883979
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41173) - you deserved it (3216)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm - misc - by zachadams - United States (New York)

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

#21247834
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36394) - you deserved it (3216)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my now-ex slept with his not-so-ex the day before our wedding. FML

#15702411
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42846) - you deserved it (3215)

On 04/09/2011 at 12:02am - love - by WhatTheBleep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27897) - you deserved it (3215)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML

#21068141
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49734) - you deserved it (3215)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by seriously though - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: