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Today, my little sister is having a friend spend the night. Our rooms are right next to one another and the walls are thin. We are now entering the fourth hour of a singing contest so off-key that it should be illegal. FML

#20933172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40856) - you deserved it (3198)

On 10/25/2013 at 2:48am - misc - by ThisIsAgony - United States (Nevada)

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

#21355782
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31581) - you deserved it (3198)

On 02/14/2015 at 4:46am - kids - by Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - United States (Nevada)

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

#21382277
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25165) - you deserved it (3219)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:51am - work - by mareecasellafml (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I won a raffle organised by a friend. I discovered one of the "prizes" was actually a present that I had given to her, that she had "loved". When I asked her where she had gotten it, she said, "Oh, just some crap someone gave me once." She didn't even remember that I had given it to her. FML

#6036914
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30642) - you deserved it (3197)

On 10/28/2009 at 7:00am - misc - by Rhea (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said: "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML

#13339943
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32939) - you deserved it (3197)

On 10/06/2010 at 4:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30879) - you deserved it (3197)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML

#20696605
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55796) - you deserved it (3197)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - love - by wtf mom - United States (California)

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

#21306857
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33883) - you deserved it (3197)

On 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was working out on a horse farm. I slipped and fell on some ice, whacking my head on the metal gate in the process. As I was getting up, I accidentally grabbed the electric fence. FML

Today, I asked a guy out on a coffee date, and we started talking about our mutual careers. At the end of the date he asked me if I had any more questions about job opportunities or any more advice, then shook my hand and gave me his contact card. FML

#5748
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23646) - you deserved it (3196)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:54pm - love - by myrie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

#4293059
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47899) - you deserved it (3196)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML

#14671096
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38523) - you deserved it (3196)

On 01/22/2011 at 5:03am - intimacy - by Theaccident (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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