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Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

by BadLuckLad / 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom (Portsmouth) / Intimacy

Today, I went to get my school picture taken, when the photographer looked at me, saying, "You look like you need a mirror." FML

by greattt / 02/10/2009 at 4:15pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, a parent came into my class and told one of my 6 year old students that their grandma died. Then the parent left. The kid started crying from the news, which then got all the other students crying. I spent the rest of the day comforting a class of kids crying over someone else's grandma. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2009 at 1:46pm / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Work

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone while I was crossing the road. Luckily, it survived the fall. Not so luckily, an oncoming bus steamrolled it into oblivion. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 3:59pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

by iliterallypoopedmyself / 01/18/2012 at 8:54pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 1:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2014 at 4:07pm / Switzerland / Money

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

by embarrassed / 12/19/2014 at 2:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my birthday, and my boyfriend got surgery on his gallbladder because he had big gallstones. After they were removed, he was still a little out of it from the morphine. He gave the gallstones to me for my birthday. Better still, his mom suggested I make a necklace out of them. FML

by gallstones / 07/09/2009 at 3:02am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I finished a ballet class with a group of seven-and-unders. Afterwards, a new student's mother came up to me and thanked me, saying she was glad that her daughter had a "role model with a, ahem, fuller figure" and "not to worry about my weight." I have never thought I was fat before. FML

by Jessika / 08/07/2009 at 5:18am / United Kingdom (Sunderland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. Via text. With the iPhone I got him for our anniversary. FML

by SezzyJ / 10/02/2009 at 7:31am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, feeling confident, I asked my boyfriend what he thought of my new body, since I had lost 16 kilos over the past month. He told me that he missed the old me and wanted me to gain weight again. My boyfriend was the one that encouraged me to lose weight in the first place. FML

by Srain / 01/07/2010 at 1:36am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, my shrink diagnosed me as severely depressive, due to a lot of stress and yells at home. After the session, my parents argued about whose fault it was and then went on to yell at me for being depressive and wasting their money. FML

by blah. / 04/05/2010 at 6:14am / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Health