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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML

#18067160
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22151) - you deserved it (2971)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

#20146654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25344) - you deserved it (2971)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada

Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML

#20748362
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41402) - you deserved it (2971)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML

#577
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23863) - you deserved it (2970)

On 12/23/2008 at 1:47am - misc - by zazadudu - Sent from mobile version

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

#8180539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19006) - you deserved it (2970)

On 02/12/2010 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by rashree (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML

#20698730
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60382) - you deserved it (2970)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by regstl - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom found a new fad, and now styles herself as some kind of modern druid. Normally I'd just roll my eyes and deal with it, except she's forced the entire family to go vegetarian, threatening harsh punishments if we refuse to stop "poisoning" our bodies. FML

#20943896
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37024) - you deserved it (2970)

On 11/03/2013 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML

#21083808
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35890) - you deserved it (2970)

On 03/11/2014 at 3:21am - misc - by why me? (man) - United States (California)

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

#761
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19751) - you deserved it (2969)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:16am - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, the cable repairman came to fix my cable which has never worked well. The entire time he was talking about how much extra money he got the "fat bitch who moved here 6 months ago" to pay for her cable. I moved in 6 months ago. I was pregnant. FML

#3319716
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51601) - you deserved it (2969)

On 06/28/2009 at 8:44pm - misc - by fmerunning (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my report card from school. I pulled my grade up in Algebra from a D to an A. My parents told me that they never expected me to accomplish this, and good job but they've already enrolled me in boarding school. So much for all that extra credit and staying late after school to study. FML

#6900701
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27586) - you deserved it (2969)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by bee (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML

#16053231
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22389) - you deserved it (2969)

On 05/05/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by wow -

Today, I struggled through a one hour traffic jam to get to the airport to pick up my dad who was just coming back from an overseas trip. I got there only to find that he had given me the wrong date, and I had to drive home. Best part? I have to do it all over again tomorrow. FML

#18279451
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22692) - you deserved it (2969)

On 11/18/2011 at 5:49am - misc - by Etyl (woman) - Indonesia (Jawa Tengah)



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