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Today, I got laid off from work. I was being escorted to the elevator when another coworker stepped inside. He said, "How goes it?". I said, "It goes". Then he said, "At least we have a job". FML

#761537
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65659) - you deserved it (3201)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by Dude - United States (California)

Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML

#1144667
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79307) - you deserved it (3201)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:53am - health - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was just wearing socks. FML

#16693416
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32965) - you deserved it (3201)

On 06/16/2011 at 10:24am - misc - by RedheadA (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

#18586179
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30847) - you deserved it (3201)

On 12/23/2011 at 2:42am - intimacy - by balkangirl94 - United States (Florida)

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20442) - you deserved it (3201)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out why my bank balance is so unusually low. It turns out that I bought a car in Indonesia. I've never been to Indonesia. FML

#20766607
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53740) - you deserved it (3201)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my boyfriend broke things off, because he says I have a "horrible, horrible personality" and that I'm only really fuck-buddy material, which is a problem because he wants something long-term. We've been dating for three years. FML

#21261219
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34111) - you deserved it (3201)

On 09/19/2014 at 12:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML

#5035637
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49749) - you deserved it (3200)

On 09/04/2009 at 2:23am - kids - by NotYourLady (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was riding my bike to the local grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner. On the way down, traveling down a hill, I hit a drain with no lid. I went to grab hold of the nearest object to soften my fall. That nearest object was a barbed wire fence. FML

#4324727
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46027) - you deserved it (3200)

On 08/06/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Lawrence (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML

#14948689
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37217) - you deserved it (3200)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:29am - intimacy - by KaraAnn17 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML

#18070361
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37288) - you deserved it (3200)

On 10/25/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by myownperson - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

#19159712
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41486) - you deserved it (3200)

On 02/25/2012 at 9:35am - intimacy - by fmylifebigtime - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58919) - you deserved it (3200)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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