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Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

#19662141
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17926) - you deserved it (3315)

On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

#19824729
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29019) - you deserved it (3315)

On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML

#20435586
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46243) - you deserved it (3316)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:50am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom made fun of me because I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, then bragged that at my age she was already pregnant with me. FML

#20918137
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56871) - you deserved it (3315)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by roundtherose - United States (Alaska)

Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

#21405167
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30171) - you deserved it (3315)

On 05/05/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend called me and he was very upset, crying that he had been betrayed. He then began to explain that his friend had slept with his ex-girlfriend. I asked why he was so upset, and he said he still loved her, and really thought they were going to be able to work things out. FML

#3679896
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61901) - you deserved it (3314)

On 07/11/2009 at 11:18pm - love - by Hopeless (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML

#4226851
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62844) - you deserved it (3314)

On 08/02/2009 at 8:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I politely asked my friend if she would repay me the £20 she owes me. She shouted at me, called me an insensitive bitch, and refuses to pay me back as apparently she can't afford to. Her holiday to Italy next week begs to differ. FML

#11625118
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30917) - you deserved it (3314)

On 07/03/2010 at 12:15am - misc - by learntmylesson - Sent from mobile version

Today, I opened my new clothing store. My only customer was my mom and the only reason she came in was to tell me that someone stole my sign. FML

#16307240
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36624) - you deserved it (3314)

On 05/23/2011 at 12:26am - work - by 11lyss1 -

Today, I was playing rugby. I was tackled very hard at the end of a play, and I got up to find my head bleeding profusely. Not one person offered to drive me to the ER. I had to drive myself to get six stitches in the face. FML

#7771454
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29268) - you deserved it (3313)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got the worst sunburn I've ever had in my life, and then discovered I'm allergic to aloe when I went to treat the burn with some gel. FML

#17288890
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29374) - you deserved it (3313)

On 07/28/2011 at 5:36pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML

#19884306
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30384) - you deserved it (3313)

On 07/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by Dreamer (man) - United States (California)



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