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Today, I went to visit my sister, who lives four hours away from me. I'd only just sat down on their couch when her husband told me I needed to leave so they could have sex. FML

#20666985
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42733) - you deserved it (3133)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by earplugsplease (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML

#2906688
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45265) - you deserved it (3132)

On 06/15/2009 at 6:07am - animals - by Tom (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I've been unemployed for a year. For the last six months I had been trying for a good paying job at a great company, who kept saying they would hire me when the economy improves. Three weeks ago I gave up and moved 2 hours away. Guess who just called to finally offer me a job. FML

Today, my boyfriend was seated in my section at work. As he sees me his face drops... he's on a date. He had forgotten I work there. I had to serve him and his date, and they didn't leave a tip. FML

#13621862
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45138) - you deserved it (3132)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:27am - love - by heshay - United States (Texas)

Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML

#13082882
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31192) - you deserved it (3132)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

#17078308
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22212) - you deserved it (3132)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:19am - kids - by SaggyBoy135 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

#18049088
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30148) - you deserved it (3132)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm - misc - by pretty_coin - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I held the door for an elderly woman. As she walked through, she looked at me and told me I was a very handsome man and that I should meet her grandson. The woman was my grandmother, and yes, I'm straight. FML

#20978372
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42162) - you deserved it (3132)

On 12/02/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by rick - United States (Alabama)

Today, I made plans with an old friend that I haven't seen in years. We agreed to meet at a diner and I told him I'd be standing outside. I watched him pull up, look right at me, then do something with his phone. Seconds later, I got a text saying "Sorry, but I'm busy today and can't make it." FML

#15130627
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32992) - you deserved it (3131)

On 02/26/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Angela (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months started a bitter fight with me. The cause was me repeatedly refusing to dye my hair the way his beloved ex did. FML

#17937803
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30989) - you deserved it (3131)

On 10/08/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26957) - you deserved it (3131)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply "#rekt", then "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

#21334865
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26152) - you deserved it (3131)

On 01/11/2015 at 12:57am - love - by kumcat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

#2984635
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80443) - you deserved it (3130)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States



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