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Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML

#17966931
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21238) - you deserved it (3173)

On 10/12/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by octoberrain - United States

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (3173)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, I was complimented on my freckles. I don't actually have freckles, just a load of blackheads that won't go away. FML

#21322767
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27950) - you deserved it (3173)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:41pm - health - by eamiller (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML

#20708781
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48001) - you deserved it (3172)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by butisavedyourkid - United States

Today, I looked at a girl's profile on a dating website, and it told her I'd visited it. Later on, she sent me a message. It said: "Don't even think about it." FML

Today, I was walking down the hall from the livingroom. I overheard my mom telling someone how proud she was of her baby girl and how much she loved her. I thought she was referring to my first ever all "A" report card. Turns out my new kitten used its litter box correctly for the first time. FML

#5990004
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26849) - you deserved it (3171)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was playing basketball in our company gym. I took a shot from half court, and at that exact moment, an executive walked into the gym with an important potential client. My shot bounced off the side of the backboard, off some bleachers, and right into the client's head. FML

#13263199
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24111) - you deserved it (3171)

On 09/30/2010 at 1:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my classmates affectionately refer to me as "the kid whose eyes are really far apart." FML

#16101682
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28723) - you deserved it (3171)

On 05/09/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by theyarefarapart -

Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML

#20857413
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35863) - you deserved it (3171)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:48am - misc - by Grandmas lost it - United States (New York)

Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML

#20829558
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44235) - you deserved it (3171)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm - work - by pardon my English :$ (woman) - France

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

#20852114
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44540) - you deserved it (3171)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by cassidy_smith12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

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