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Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

#17973930
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26720) - you deserved it (3134)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States

Today, my boyfriend was such a coward that instead of breaking up with me, he changed his phone number. FML

#19193447
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (3134)

On 03/01/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took a week off work because my father passed away. I was at the funeral home making arrangements when I overheard the owners complaining about how their insurance agent had left them to fend for themselves. I'm their insurance agent. FML

#20531557
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28049) - you deserved it (3134)

On 03/04/2013 at 10:38pm - work - by KathleenSchuler - United States

Today, while visiting my mother, she asked my son who his favorite parent was. As a growing boy, he chose his father. I don't mind, except she then asked, "So, whose side are you taking in the divorce?" My husband and I have no marital issues. My son refuses to believe us. FML

#20932049
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42029) - you deserved it (3134)

On 10/24/2013 at 2:05am - kids - by he's still not convinced (woman) - United States

Today, my parents asked if they could borrow my car. Why? Because they were going to see someone about a Craig's List ad and wanted to look poor. FML

#5657528
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33504) - you deserved it (3133)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:38am - money - by poorcar (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML

#17004757
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35616) - you deserved it (3133)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a promise ring. It was so sweet and romantic, until he said, "I want to marry you one day. But I want to date some other girls first." FML

#18224310
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39362) - you deserved it (3133)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:06am - love - by so romantic - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

#20438667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34771) - you deserved it (3133)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -

Today, I went to visit my sister, who lives four hours away from me. I'd only just sat down on their couch when her husband told me I needed to leave so they could have sex. FML

#20666985
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42733) - you deserved it (3133)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by earplugsplease (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML

#2906688
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45265) - you deserved it (3132)

On 06/15/2009 at 6:07am - animals - by Tom (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I've been unemployed for a year. For the last six months I had been trying for a good paying job at a great company, who kept saying they would hire me when the economy improves. Three weeks ago I gave up and moved 2 hours away. Guess who just called to finally offer me a job. FML

Today, my boyfriend was seated in my section at work. As he sees me his face drops... he's on a date. He had forgotten I work there. I had to serve him and his date, and they didn't leave a tip. FML

#13621862
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45142) - you deserved it (3134)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:27am - love - by heshay - United States (Texas)

Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML

#13082882
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31192) - you deserved it (3132)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



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