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Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML

#20801253
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44112) - you deserved it (2933)

On 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm - kids - by ouch - United States (Virginia)

Today, I worked in a clinic as a intern. A nurse was called to dry a woman's hair. I followed her, trying to be a good intern. After the nurse was done, the 72 year old woman took off her bathrobe. While looking at me she sat down, her legs wide open. And, yes, she knew she was naked. FML

#4156850
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34748) - you deserved it (2932)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, while shopping with my mother, she handed me a frozen turkey to put in the cart, but ended up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant battered eggplant, and I think I'm now impotent. FML

#8774277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19397) - you deserved it (2932)

On 03/02/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by beateneggs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at the hairdressers getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

#15792200
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37253) - you deserved it (2932)

On 04/15/2011 at 2:43am - misc - by ugly - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received a phone call at work about an emergency and I had to come home immediately. I arrived to find that no one had been hurt and the house hadn't burned down. The "emergency" was my mom ran out of milk and cigarettes. FML

#16500750
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (2932)

On 06/04/2011 at 3:48pm - misc - by A (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was let go from work because they need "younger people". I'm 19 and I work at a flower market. FML

#21067284
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39592) - you deserved it (2932)

On 02/21/2014 at 2:02am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

#3129056
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49395) - you deserved it (2931)

On 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm - work - by the_captain (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had a blind date with a girl someone in my office set me up with. Before the waitress returned with our drinks, this girl asked me to go to her parent's house and pretend to be the father of her yet unborn child because the real father is a drug addict and in jail for stealing her dad's car. FML

Today, I noticed a little white ball in the corner of my bedroom ceiling. I guess it had been there for a while already, but the teeming mass of baby spiders crawling out made it a lot more conspicuous. FML

#19612564
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22872) - you deserved it (2931)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:48pm - animals - by aliqi (man) - United States

Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML

#20041168
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17203) - you deserved it (2931)

On 08/25/2012 at 3:11pm - animals - by missTyfied (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I realized that there are more framed pictures of my mom's dog than pictures of me around the house. FML

#89971
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37176) - you deserved it (2930)

On 02/20/2009 at 5:02pm - animals - by d0pey (man) - United States (California)

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

#19379891
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20221) - you deserved it (2930)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:22am - health - by GetHardOrGoHome - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my boyfriend thinks I'm too high maintenance because I have a chronic illness which requires frequent hospitalization. FML

#9059310
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28719) - you deserved it (2929)

On 03/13/2010 at 10:17pm - health - by bobby - Australia (New South Wales)



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