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Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML

Today, I had my first driving lesson. I learned how to be stopped by a cop, who told me what a horrible driver I was. FML

#21422346
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21315) - you deserved it (3348)

On 06/07/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by unhappy (man) - United States (California)

Today, when I was finished eating at McDonalds, I went to Shoppers to pick up a new toothbrush. I got back to my car only to find the windows smashed in. The only thing that was missing from my car was the Hello Kitty toy I got from McDonalds. Someone broke into my car for a 10 cent toy. FML

#5087862
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45895) - you deserved it (3347)

On 09/06/2009 at 7:12pm - money - by effmylife (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandpa told us he wanted to fit in. His idea of fitting in is streaking in a park at 4:00 pm. FML

#16878722
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30280) - you deserved it (3347)

On 06/27/2011 at 8:16am - misc - by Nice 2 inch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother tried to tell me that nicotine is the only substance that ensures weight loss, and that nicotine has been passed down in our family for over 5 generations of heavy smoking relatives. Then she encouraged me to start smoking. FML

#16776471
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42601) - you deserved it (3347)

On 06/21/2011 at 3:08am - health - by Caeru (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss told me that there is no point in making me cut onions anymore because every time I do, I look like I've "been beaten", and can't be seen by the customers for at least half an hour. FML

#21091068
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32711) - you deserved it (3347)

On 03/19/2014 at 6:24pm - work - by Embarassed (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother dragged me into Victoria's Secret to get my opinion on some lingerie. Lingerie she'll be using to get into my dad's pants this evening. FML

#14731317
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32574) - you deserved it (3346)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

#19201903
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23228) - you deserved it (3346)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after being married for 20 years, I found out that my wife has accounts on multiple dating sites, "just in case." FML

#21007851
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41718) - you deserved it (3346)

On 12/28/2013 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I just got back from a two week vacation. I live with six people and only the dog was happy to see me. FML

#21252441
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34477) - you deserved it (3346)

On 09/05/2014 at 2:54pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

Today, I went to get my school picture taken, when the photographer looked at me, saying, "You look like you need a mirror." FML

#21181
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24921) - you deserved it (3345)

On 02/10/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by greattt (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML

#8433331
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27899) - you deserved it (3345)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by GeneralElement (man) - United States (Utah)



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