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Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care of a cracked tooth. He's convinced it was actually caused by an STD, and accused me of giving it to him. FML

#18005500
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30708) - you deserved it (3244)

On 10/17/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by STIdiot (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5 minutes to stop flirting with a girl before trying to help me. FML

#19850221
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25770) - you deserved it (3244)

On 06/26/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by EdgardoP - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

#20039589
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22015) - you deserved it (3244)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:00pm - love - by OMFG I LOVE MLP - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I finally went to the doctor's about my severe anxiety. I am so used to putting on a happy performance around people that she didn't believe anything was wrong with me. FML

#21376536
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (180) - you deserved it (3244)

On 03/17/2015 at 5:35pm - health - by scared - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML

#12760106
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33299) - you deserved it (3243)

On 08/26/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is cheating on me when she was arrested for having sex in public. Not with me though. FML

#17173696
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41269) - you deserved it (3243)

On 07/19/2011 at 3:40am - intimacy - by ken - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML

#18121286
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22584) - you deserved it (3243)

On 10/31/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the family I live with decided that beer is a more important purchase than the things we need, such as detergent, soap, and toilet paper, just to name a few things. Apparently, paper towels should suffice. FML

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
114 comments

Today, a guy tried to pick me up with the line, "You're ugly. Just kidding. You're my date." FML

Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML

#256186
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67529) - you deserved it (3242)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by danesy - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a real Japanese restaurant with my sister and mom, where you had to take off your shoes and sit on the floor. After the meal, I realized my shoes were no longer where I put them. For the seven years the restaurant has been open, I'm the first person to get their shoes stolen. FML

#2355217
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49277) - you deserved it (3242)

On 05/27/2009 at 8:51pm - misc - by Jdub (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I walked to my local McDonald's. I spent the last 7 dollars I had on my meal. As I began to walk back to my dorm, I was mugged. I explained to them I had no money, so they stole my food. FML

#1936561
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46408) - you deserved it (3243)

On 05/14/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by Aaron (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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