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Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. I love her so much and I've been treating her extremely well. Before I could pop the question, she said in these exact words: "Babe, our relationship is like a drunken night. Fun while it lasted but its something I'd rather forget." FML

#4595974
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57542) - you deserved it (3141)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:04am - love - by singleandheartbroken (man) - Australia (Victoria)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that while I see a therapist for my trust issues, my husband sleeps with our nanny. FML

#13885002
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39159) - you deserved it (3140)

On 11/18/2010 at 4:23am - intimacy - by nevergonnatrust -

Today, my mother noticed that I hadn't taken the trash out in a few weeks and angry, piled various full trash bags on my bed. I've been away on holiday for the past three weeks, I guess she didn't notice that part. FML

#15195848
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31512) - you deserved it (3140)

On 03/04/2011 at 11:25am - misc - by carr (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my parents informed that the man I am going to marry made the newspaper, on page twelve. He is listed as a fugitive and there is a warrant out for his arrest. FML

#19982796
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24225) - you deserved it (3140)

On 07/25/2012 at 1:27am - misc - by strangebeans (woman) - United States

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

#20915293
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38676) - you deserved it (3140)

On 10/10/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by Lady Douche of Asscrackington (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, due to the heat, I had a deadly asthma attack. Where was my inhaler? My dad pawned it for beer money. What did my dad do about my attack? Told me to quit being a Drama Queen. I had to go across the street and beg for a ride to the ER from my neighbor. FML

#5346729
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58888) - you deserved it (3139)

On 09/19/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by asthmasucks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a gas station bathroom attempting to buy a condom from the machine on the wall. A woman who smelled of cat piss walked in, and I got embarrassed so I fled into a stall. She then started a conversation with me about "the good old days" from the next stall over. FML

#19559946
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16723) - you deserved it (3139)

On 05/01/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Megannn (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML

#20079438
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30288) - you deserved it (3139)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:22pm - love - by Shame (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

#20556107
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49106) - you deserved it (3139)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my girlfriend was really depressed. I listed the top 50 reasons why I love her. Her response was "thanks for that but seriously, this video on youtube is hilarious." I couldn't cheer her up but apparently a 10 second video of a dog running in circles can. FML

#8238401
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26314) - you deserved it (3138)

On 02/14/2010 at 3:48am - love - by Samson (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43728) - you deserved it (3138)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, I failed hard at a color test. I thought it was a joke because most of the colors looked the same to me. Now I know why people laugh at my clothes color choices. FML

#20936339
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45214) - you deserved it (3138)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

#20929509
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38220) - you deserved it (3138)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:24pm - health - by ouch.... (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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