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Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML

#20079438
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28941) - you deserved it (3008)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:22pm - love - by Shame (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

#21242612
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32627) - you deserved it (3008)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by ReluctantAntEater (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finished my position paper for my social studies class and read it to my mom to get her opinion on it. After I'm done reading it, she asks me if I copied it from somewhere because it sounded very professional and smart, and it didn't sound like me. FML

#7313469
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23856) - you deserved it (3007)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:08am - misc - by SMRT (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the guy that I have been seeing for over a year left on a business trip. While straightening out his room as a favor, I noticed he took his condoms with him. FML

#8892224
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26462) - you deserved it (3007)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML

#13083989
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28589) - you deserved it (3007)

On 09/17/2010 at 7:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I finally found the courage to tell my drug addict husband that I'm leaving him. He sat in his chair, denying using drugs, ever. Right after he said this, he passed out and spilled hot coffee on himself. He then denied spilling the coffee. As I was leaving, he took all of my shoes. FML

#17924214
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31008) - you deserved it (3007)

On 10/06/2011 at 10:53pm - love - by stacyyvonne - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a promise ring. It was so sweet and romantic, until he said, "I want to marry you one day. But I want to date some other girls first." FML

#18224310
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37861) - you deserved it (3007)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:06am - love - by so romantic - United States (Texas)

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML

#20078726
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20533) - you deserved it (3007)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Burntintomyretinas - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I received a letter in the mail from my Grandma about how much she adores and loves me. Then it went into detail about how much prettier, smarter, and successful I am than my sister, Leah. I am Leah. She mixed up the letters to the wrong envelopes. FML

#444833
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71433) - you deserved it (3006)

On 03/18/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by leah12 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML

#16515847
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41627) - you deserved it (3006)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:20pm - love - by mj - United States

Today, while I was on the bus, my foot fell asleep. When we arrived at my stop, I stood up and limped to the front of the bus. As I walked down the steps, I tripped, fell, and smashed my nose into the ground. The driver just laughed and drove away. FML

#17801056
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26003) - you deserved it (3006)

On 09/21/2011 at 11:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

#17508595
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37764) - you deserved it (3006)

On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31818) - you deserved it (3006)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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