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Today, my roommate's extremely loud and obnoxious alarm went off six times, waking me up each time, before she finally gave up on hitting the snooze button and went back to sleep for good. FML

by IMAWAKE / 03/17/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at a restaurant, I watched someone throw their car door open and hit the side of my brand new car for the third time this week. I told the woman to be more careful. She told my manager that I was being racist. As I was being yelled at, I watched her hit my car again, smiling. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:59am / United States (Montana) / Transportation

Today, a girl I've liked for several years gave me her number. Finally, I worked up the courage to call her. It was a suicide help line. FML

by Kin / 10/25/2009 at 4:48pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML

by yrfavweapon / 07/02/2010 at 3:29pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my brother changed the password on my laptop so that I can't log into my profile. All my notes for school are on it and finals start on Monday. Guess who can't remember the new password. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML

by bunkbed / 08/30/2011 at 12:45pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

by ehrmagahd / 12/19/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, during a job interview, I was offered a sandwich. I politely declined, explaining that I'm a coeliac and would probably get very sick. He said coeliac disease "isn't real" and that gluten-free eating is just a fad. I had to leave when he kept pushing me to accept it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 1:02am / Norway / Health

Today, I discovered that my best friend has been telling everyone at our workplace that I'm faking my pregnancy for attention. She was at every single one of my ultrasounds. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2014 at 9:20pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I was told by my teacher that she had 'given up' teaching me because someone had told her I have a mental illness, and that I don't understand what she says. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2014 at 6:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2010 at 5:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

by CHStennis_4 / 09/03/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, at my job as a fourth grade teacher, I realized that most of my students have far nicer and more expensive phones than I can afford. FML

by poor teacher / 09/23/2013 at 1:54pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous