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Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML

#16479065
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25102) - you deserved it (2975)

On 06/03/2011 at 2:25am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a band concert and my mum got kicked out. She screamed "BORING!" in the middle of it. FML

#18803837
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25753) - you deserved it (2975)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:34am - misc - by katie876 (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

#20129779
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18861) - you deserved it (2975)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm - animals - by buccaneer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33021) - you deserved it (2975)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom came back from a major surgery. She also had a yeast infection. I had to push the applicator in because she couldn't bend down. This cannot be unfelt. FML

#20641584
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48984) - you deserved it (2975)

On 05/04/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my (now former) best friend kicked me out of the band I started because I wasn't 'dedicated enough' after a 3 day 'holiday' to visit my dying uncle. He also during this 3 day 'holiday' convinced my girl friend to leave me and date him. FML

#5287985
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53332) - you deserved it (2974)

On 09/16/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by dj163 (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML

#14604912
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22308) - you deserved it (2974)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:37pm - misc - by thisisme (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML

#8948216
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34701) - you deserved it (2973)

On 03/09/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Teeny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

#18429716
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43766) - you deserved it (2973)

On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

#19528563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23937) - you deserved it (2973)

On 04/25/2012 at 6:43pm - love - by anyoi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

#19343644
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23270) - you deserved it (2973)

On 03/25/2012 at 7:59am - animals - by PicklesMcRaptor - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19061) - you deserved it (2973)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my dad threw up on my dress. My wedding dress. While he was walking me down the aisle. FML

#5431365
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59287) - you deserved it (2972)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:38pm - misc - by poorgirl (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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