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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to stay just friends. Not only did I get denied, apparently we're also "just friends." FML

#13614592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34050) - you deserved it (3181)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:19pm - love - by just_friends (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, the family I live with decided that beer is a more important purchase than the things we need, such as detergent, soap, and toilet paper, just to name a few things. Apparently, paper towels should suffice. FML

Today, my dad and I had a yelling match about me "lying", because I was unable to contact iTunes support without a phone number. To prove a point, he went online to find the phone number. It's been an hour and he's still searching for the number. I can't leave the table until he has found it. FML

#20891277
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39812) - you deserved it (3181)

On 09/22/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by SeriouslyDad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

#20928358
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41512) - you deserved it (3181)

On 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm - kids - by momaaa1342 - United States (Illinois)

Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML

#21006901
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34194) - you deserved it (3181)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:40am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a restaurant and sat at the last available table, which had a seat available across from me. A cute girl approached and asked if she could sit down, so I said "Sure" and made some room. She then asked "You're leaving, right?" FML

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

#18689614
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43834) - you deserved it (3180)

On 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML

#19769675
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25938) - you deserved it (3180)

On 06/11/2012 at 8:01am - love - by ugly (woman) - Australia

Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML

#7256679
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44927) - you deserved it (3179)

On 01/10/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML

#12964017
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60771) - you deserved it (3179)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:23pm - animals - by jrad - United States (Georgia)

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

#21274403
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29671) - you deserved it (3179)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML

#21297662
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42716) - you deserved it (3179)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland)

Today, I was pointing out my car to my roommate. He responded with, "Oh that one with the broken window?" Turns out my car had been broken into. They took my CD player, GPS and Ipod. On top of that they left a Reese's Fastbreak wrapper and sunflower seeds on my front seat. FML

#7324506
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22223) - you deserved it (3178)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by Eli (man) - United States (Illinois)



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