Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my friend called me at work to tell me that someone had hit my motorcycle and that it was in pretty bad shape. I chuckled and waited for the "April fools" that would follow. A picture of my wrecked bike came instead. FML

#15589455
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38184) - you deserved it (3655)

On 04/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

#19956706
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37031) - you deserved it (3655)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by Awkward - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML

#20951618
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44371) - you deserved it (3655)

On 11/09/2013 at 3:41pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

#15968
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54223) - you deserved it (3654)

On 02/08/2009 at 9:14pm - intimacy - by ADT (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35482) - you deserved it (3654)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, after waiting 2 hours for my landlord to leave so I could take a shit in peace, I sat down on the toilet. The doorbell immediately rang. It was my landlord, who wanted to let me know that he had just backed into my car. FML

#21154891
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48401) - you deserved it (3654)

On 05/28/2014 at 5:07pm - misc - by chubbs - United States (California)

Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was petting my couch while reading a book. FML

#21305429
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28275) - you deserved it (3654)

On 11/24/2014 at 9:17pm - misc - by Hammy - United States (Michigan)

Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years, the father of my son, has been the pervert who has been harassing my mother with weird texts and pictures of his knob. The cops told me after we went to the police station to report it and catch the creep. FML

#14185511
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34243) - you deserved it (3653)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by grossed the f out -

Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML

#20536593
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51815) - you deserved it (3653)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:16am - love - by itsnotyouitsher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my pet lizard eating my other pet lizard. FML

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

#21472567
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21271) - you deserved it (3653)

On 09/25/2015 at 11:03am - animals - by zAstonish (man) - Singapore

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

#13946
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34350) - you deserved it (3652)

On 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: