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Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML

#7353297
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40307) - you deserved it (2978)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:51am - love - by cuppincake (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22517) - you deserved it (2978)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

#13521547
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35302) - you deserved it (2978)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend, the love of my life. Actually I ran into a billboard for her college, where apparently she is the new "poster girl" for their advertising campaign. I have now seen her on 2 billboards, a newspaper ad and a bus. FML

#13209934
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28300) - you deserved it (2978)

On 09/26/2010 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was talking to my tattoo artist about how my girlfriend broke up with me. She had also gotten her tattoos from him, so they had talked quite a bit. He told me she had been cheating on me with her ex for two and a half months. He didn't tell me because he didn't want to lose business. FML

#12959841
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27614) - you deserved it (2978)

On 09/08/2010 at 4:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend said I looked like ET and made me pose next to a full scale model of him while she took a picture. She's showing her friends the picture and they agree. FML

#17795407
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25325) - you deserved it (2978)

On 09/21/2011 at 12:42pm - love - by srloin (man) - United States

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

#17391644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26886) - you deserved it (2978)

On 08/06/2011 at 10:49pm - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML

#19026244
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23619) - you deserved it (2978)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42551) - you deserved it (2978)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

#21110266
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40290) - you deserved it (2978)

On 04/11/2014 at 12:38pm - misc - by Cuntlette (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out I'm being sued by the man whose life I practically saved a month ago. He says the way I pulled him out of the car he was trapped in has left him with permanent back problems. FML

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

#14991299
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30015) - you deserved it (2977)

On 02/15/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by bitchasaurusrex (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got trapped in a glass elevator at the mall. My father walked right by the elevator, laughed and went into a store. A fireman got me out. FML

#16990171
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30390) - you deserved it (2977)

On 07/05/2011 at 6:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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