Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

#3462
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23980) - you deserved it (3004)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by Coley - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, was my wedding day. Right before I walked down the aisle in my gorgeous white dress the woman who did my makeup saw a blemish. She went to squirt concealer on her finger and squirted the orange concealer all over my dress. FML

#3503647
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56142) - you deserved it (3004)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by squirt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

#6987202
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20949) - you deserved it (3004)

On 12/28/2009 at 2:30am - animals - by dumbdad (woman) - United States (California)

Today, some obnoxious guys started calling me ugly. I tried to ignore them and be the bigger person. That's pretty hard to do when they start throwing rocks at you. FML

#6324167
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41828) - you deserved it (3004)

On 11/16/2009 at 6:39am - kids - by x0SoReckless0x (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

#8637899
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25515) - you deserved it (3004)

On 02/25/2010 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

#8124338
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43345) - you deserved it (3004)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)

Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML

#20740640
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42728) - you deserved it (3004)

On 06/22/2013 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

Today, my husband managed to set fire to half of our garden setting up mosquito repellents. FML

#20802186
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36764) - you deserved it (3004)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:10am - misc - by how (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

#21097210
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39526) - you deserved it (3004)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm - animals - by In urgent need of a new roommate - United States (Oregon)

Today, one of my friends pointed out I'm starting to get a mustache! - "You're finally a man!" To bad it's my 15th birthday, and I'm a girl. FML

#7897193
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27599) - you deserved it (3003)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sprained my ankle while playing soccer. I still have to walk home. In the rain. FML

#7742819
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22583) - you deserved it (3003)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - health - by snidpea - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

#8894345
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33364) - you deserved it (3003)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: