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Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41167) - you deserved it (2937)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML

#14263192
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47180) - you deserved it (2936)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:31pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my father in law drunkenly announced at dinner that he wished my husband had married my best friend. No one stuck up for me. Not even my husband. FML

#17715893
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36644) - you deserved it (2936)

On 09/11/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML

#20146254
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28372) - you deserved it (2936)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - love - by markderanjer (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I got home from college. Since I haven't seen my parents in almost a year I sorta expected them to come meet me/pick me up at the airport. Nope. What did I get instead? A text from my dad saying, "I hope you have a key." FML

#1984410
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40474) - you deserved it (2935)

On 05/16/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML

#4479707
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58377) - you deserved it (2935)

On 08/12/2009 at 5:01pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was stuck in the elevator for almost two hours. Where was the elevator mechanic? Next to me in the elevator. FML

#21098357
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41956) - you deserved it (2935)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:42am - work - by ClaustrophobicNightmares - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, I called my boss and said "I have been awake since 3am throwing up." He replied with "Great, see you at 9" and hung up. FML

#14638505
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29472) - you deserved it (2935)

On 01/19/2011 at 12:31pm - work - by gb739 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, in science class, we had to make play-dough with our lab partners. We were allowed to put one thing in it to make it more bouncy or rubbery. My partner said that he wanted to put a chicken wing in ours. FML

#18374727
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23048) - you deserved it (2935)

On 11/28/2011 at 10:45am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

#20575675
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30066) - you deserved it (2935)

On 04/05/2013 at 1:28am - misc - by slightlyworried (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was training for my new job at a restaurant. As part of training, they give you free food so you know what to reccommend, and the dish I got was really good. Eight hours later I saw it again while I was puking; I got food poisoning from my own place of work. FML

#914179
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47750) - you deserved it (2934)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12pm - work - by newhostess (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dog received a christmas card before I did. FML

#6678775
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26782) - you deserved it (2934)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:33am - animals - by amywee (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML

#12498978
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39577) - you deserved it (2934)

On 08/13/2010 at 12:28pm - kids - by Bullet - United States



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