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Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML

#13005012
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30868) - you deserved it (3323)

On 09/11/2010 at 2:59pm - misc - by wantontsu -

Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML

#13688045
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24568) - you deserved it (3323)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:20pm - work - by speechless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

#19818500
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25723) - you deserved it (3323)

On 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24434) - you deserved it (3323)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk, people were stepping over me and my purse was gone. FML

#5676795
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57113) - you deserved it (3322)

On 10/06/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by blackedout (woman) - Singapore

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

#9015230
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31089) - you deserved it (3322)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States

Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

#14033332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30391) - you deserved it (3322)

On 11/30/2010 at 3:48am - intimacy - by Jack -

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML

#11497127
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38401) - you deserved it (3322)

On 06/27/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by ac13 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

#19540366
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29730) - you deserved it (3322)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML

#20646182
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42836) - you deserved it (3322)

On 05/06/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by sobasics - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML

#20770379
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47657) - you deserved it (3322)

On 07/08/2013 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancée told me she can't marry me. Our wedding day is tomorrow and around 20 of our 180 guests attending have travelled half way around the world just for the occasion. FML

#20918616
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54821) - you deserved it (3322)

On 10/13/2013 at 6:49am - love - by IDon't - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my fiancé of two years told me he was bored of me and he'd just prolonged the engagement to see if anyone more interesting would come along in the mean time. He was upset because no one did. FML

#2595343
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57916) - you deserved it (3321)

On 06/04/2009 at 10:46am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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