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Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML

#17575215
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30540) - you deserved it (3014)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML

#20580464
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30576) - you deserved it (3014)

On 04/08/2013 at 10:08am - work - by save the koalas? uhh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML

#7256679
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43035) - you deserved it (3013)

On 01/10/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

#21271220
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35268) - you deserved it (3013)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64612) - you deserved it (3012)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my parents gave me my birthday present. Two weeks ago, I ordered an xbox online. Three days ago, it came to my house, and my parents thought they could save money by putting wrapping paper on it, and giving it to me for my birthday. That's all they got me. FML

#13347078
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30134) - you deserved it (3012)

On 10/06/2010 at 8:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

#13235832
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38529) - you deserved it (3012)

On 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Jake - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at the library, and had finally found the book I'd been looking for, when a man approaches me, says "The main character dies at the end", and walks away. FML

#17655744
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30933) - you deserved it (3012)

On 09/03/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by haha - United States (California)

Today, I was diagnosed with strep throat. My mom wasted no time accusing me of whoring around and claiming that most people get strep from performing oral sex. FML

#20750267
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42384) - you deserved it (3012)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:58pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

#900029
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66195) - you deserved it (3011)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:35am - kids - by mandy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was watching a movie with my sister, my roommate, and my girlfriend. Half way through the movie, my girlfriend left the room and texted me that she was breaking up with me. She then came back in the room, sat on my bed, and enjoyed the rest of the movie with us. FML

#5924772
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42636) - you deserved it (3011)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Small_Fry_Hero (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was transporting liquor between stores for work. A car pulled out and cut me off, causing me to slam on my brakes. My car stopped. The 200 dollars-worth of booze did not. FML

#18859567
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23237) - you deserved it (3011)

On 01/20/2012 at 3:23am - work - by LiquorChick (woman) - United States

Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML

#20566421
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34562) - you deserved it (3011)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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