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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML

#14221771
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29355) - you deserved it (3275)

On 12/16/2010 at 6:54am - misc - by xxmollyxx (woman) - Sweden

Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML

#20628272
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44018) - you deserved it (3275)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my last day at work. I was offered a better job and accepted. Not wanting to leave my present boss hanging, I asked for time to give notice. While I trained my replacement, the owner at the new job had time to think about how slow the season is, and he decided not to fill the position. FML

#6748565
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24985) - you deserved it (3274)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:12am - work - by BadKitty42 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad bought me a new laptop for my birthday. That's because he wants to use my old laptop for work, which is more expensive, has better specs, runs faster, and has a wider screen than my new computer. I just got a downgraded laptop as my birthday present. FML

#5054381
148 comments

Today, we got our family pictures back from the printers. I complained to my mom about the ones she picked. "Oh don't worry," she said. "I had them photoshop out your gut." I was talking about my smile. FML

#7292547
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21127) - you deserved it (3274)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by Me (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

#9015230
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30497) - you deserved it (3274)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

#8994102
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22318) - you deserved it (3274)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States

Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend. The guy rang her up and said it was only a dollar as he winked at her $10 purchase. Then he rang me up at completely full price. She got his number and I got to be the ugly friend once again. FML

#19948524
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29303) - you deserved it (3274)

On 07/17/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by theuglyfriend (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML

#20492811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26686) - you deserved it (3274)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31157) - you deserved it (3274)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML

#21374137
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30993) - you deserved it (3274)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:27pm - misc - by Eddy (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I made plans with an old friend that I haven't seen in years. We agreed to meet at a diner and I told him I'd be standing outside. I watched him pull up, look right at me, then do something with his phone. Seconds later, I got a text saying "Sorry, but I'm busy today and can't make it." FML

#15130627
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34767) - you deserved it (3273)

On 02/26/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Angela (woman) - United States

Today, my husband has decided to grow a mullet. FML

#19799986
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (3273)

On 06/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by flyingpuppy - Canada (British Columbia)



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