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Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML

#20414731
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38779) - you deserved it (3143)

On 12/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by Brittany (woman) - United States

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

#21290313
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35485) - you deserved it (3143)

On 11/02/2014 at 6:28am - health - by smellyhair - United Kingdom

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63106) - you deserved it (3142)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

#13415176
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23162) - you deserved it (3142)

On 10/12/2010 at 12:48am - intimacy - by tdiz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65400) - you deserved it (3142)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22802) - you deserved it (3142)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40949) - you deserved it (3142)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

#20991671
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39838) - you deserved it (3142)

On 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by thank u usa (man) - Germany

Today, one of my really close friends changed from being 'free' to 'quite busy' in the space of one conversation because I suggested that we hang out. FML

#15870197
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25601) - you deserved it (3141)

On 04/21/2011 at 4:33am - misc - by gutted (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I found out that my father has taken my copy of Modern Warfare 3, and re-wrapped it as a Christmas present. FML

#18569912
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26252) - you deserved it (3141)

On 12/21/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by tacoboy27 - United States (California)

Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML

#20079105
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30532) - you deserved it (3141)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by LawStudent (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

#20009332
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29063) - you deserved it (3141)

On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States

Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML

#21071350
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37668) - you deserved it (3141)

On 02/25/2014 at 3:42pm - work - by cunting cuntface of a boss (man) - Australia



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