Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

#7379683
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33582) - you deserved it (3212)

On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore

Today, after five months of not working, I have a check waiting for me at the office. Too bad the office is in another city. My gas tank is empty, and I have no money to put gas in my car. FML

#8643588
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22513) - you deserved it (3212)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:29pm - money - by arirx12 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML

#14660867
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32677) - you deserved it (3212)

On 01/21/2011 at 10:13am - health - by chelseaface (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I overheard my mother Skyping with her new "boyfriend" about the $1,000 she just sent him. She barely knew what internet dating was three weeks ago. FML

#20748170
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42918) - you deserved it (3212)

On 06/26/2013 at 10:08am - money - by weneedthatmoneytoliveon (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68748) - you deserved it (3212)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

#20925456
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39616) - you deserved it (3212)

On 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by DocBastard, meet DocCunt (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML

#21250632
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35831) - you deserved it (3212)

On 09/02/2014 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally accepted I need help with my anxiety issues. I started small and I joined a support forum and wrote a post. I was quickly called a troll by multiple users, accused of faking it, and told to "fuck off back to Tumblr" because they wouldn't believe my anxiety is really so serious. FML

#21372539
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31014) - you deserved it (3215)

On 03/11/2015 at 2:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

#6512953
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37096) - you deserved it (3211)

On 11/29/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Yoooooo0 (woman) - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's mom's house for the first time. They had a cook-out so I got to meet his whole entire family. I went into the kitchen to find a huge picture of his ex-girlfriend on his mom's fridge. FML

#11163519
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35771) - you deserved it (3211)

On 06/13/2010 at 3:48am - love - by Yup (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my now-ex slept with his not-so-ex the day before our wedding. FML

#15702411
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42864) - you deserved it (3211)

On 04/09/2011 at 12:02am - love - by WhatTheBleep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML

#20810418
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44072) - you deserved it (3211)

On 07/29/2013 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML

#843077
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80858) - you deserved it (3210)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by omgn00blolz89 (man) - United States (New York)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: