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Today, I was going through the history on my computer. Apparently, while I was at school my mother used my computer, and I now know my mother wants to learn how to make her breasts look larger, amongst other things. FML

#14794678
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26124) - you deserved it (3447)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:05am - intimacy - by LonelyBoy (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

#20422616
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35101) - you deserved it (3447)

On 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33075) - you deserved it (3447)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML

#20850902
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43787) - you deserved it (3447)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:21pm - misc - by fucking financial ruin (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML

#21353961
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35938) - you deserved it (3447)

On 02/11/2015 at 8:39am - misc - by TJFuentes (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my new boyfriend and I really wanted to have sex, but he went soft as soon as he entered me. This happens every time we try. I feel cursed by my year-long dry spell. FML

#21351173
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31091) - you deserved it (3447)

On 02/06/2015 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I beat her. FML

#14616204
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43947) - you deserved it (3446) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30300) - you deserved it (3446)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

#20679387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42701) - you deserved it (3446)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I went to leave my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

#21332094
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25804) - you deserved it (3446)

On 01/06/2015 at 3:57pm - misc - by trixanne (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked a guy out on a coffee date, and we started talking about our mutual careers. At the end of the date he asked me if I had any more questions about job opportunities or any more advice, then shook my hand and gave me his contact card. FML

#5748
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26192) - you deserved it (3445)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:54pm - love - by myrie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the person sending me secret love letters was actually my dad, who felt sorry for me. FML

#6564625
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48447) - you deserved it (3445)

On 12/02/2009 at 3:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I said yes and he gave me an engagement ring. He immediately went to call his mom to tell her the happy news. After the phone call, he asked if he could return the ring because his mom needed money. FML

#5110290
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51696) - you deserved it (3445)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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