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Today, I learned that the gap between the elevator and the 6th floor landing of my apartment building is approximately one key's width wide. FML

#5525122
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39545) - you deserved it (3260)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got demoted from my manager's position, only to be replaced by a 21 year old who has never worked in retail in her life. I now have to spend the next month teaching her my job so they can fire me. FML

#15049361
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33670) - you deserved it (3260)

On 02/20/2011 at 6:49am - work - by lisha182 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML

#15497521
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32767) - you deserved it (3260)

On 03/26/2011 at 11:41am - misc - by Sue (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

#18630466
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33002) - you deserved it (3260)

On 12/28/2011 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML

#18419129
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21821) - you deserved it (3260)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29990) - you deserved it (3260)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML

#20906907
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49911) - you deserved it (3260)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:37am - love - by okaythen (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML

#21369959
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35751) - you deserved it (3260)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by greatly disturbed - United States (California)

Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML

#3907328
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40135) - you deserved it (3259)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:10pm - health - by KnuckleSandwich (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML

#14043975
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31931) - you deserved it (3259)

On 12/01/2010 at 1:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq

Today, my boyfriend of five years proposed to me in front of my entire family. He later confessed that it was part of a dare with his friends because, "There was no way you'd say yes." Guess who has to explain this to all my relatives? FML

#16882542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40573) - you deserved it (3259)

On 06/27/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by mavstrr1764847 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, my son got to my great grandfather's old stopwatch, which had been valued at a very high sum, and broke it by twisting the hands in reverse. He says he was trying to time travel. FML

#19990926
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22275) - you deserved it (3259)

On 07/29/2012 at 2:49pm - kids - by oink oink fuck off - United Kingdom (Doncaster)



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