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Today, the family in the apartment next to me decided to give their 4-year-old kid a recorder. It's been three hours. Kill me. FML

#21127541
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37775) - you deserved it (3285)

On 04/30/2014 at 10:13pm - kids - by pleasestop (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, some well-meaning soul told me to just pray my depression away, which would be about as effective as praying away a knife in my shin. FML

#21382206
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23675) - you deserved it (3285)

On 03/27/2015 at 1:31am - misc - by an anon - United States (California)

Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother for Mothering Sunday, so she called me an 'Ungrateful bastard.' And about half an hour ago, I cut my thumb whilst making her lunch. She said, 'You're doing this on purpose so I feel sorry for you. Well I don't.' FML

#15618704
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35179) - you deserved it (3285)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:32am - misc - by Trainspotting - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML

#17131745
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33194) - you deserved it (3284)

On 07/16/2011 at 2:23am - money - by Tanner - United States (Tennessee)

Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML

#17927200
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26870) - you deserved it (3284)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:58am - work - by Dr.Octopus454 (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, after much reluctance due to fear of causing a huge debate, I finally posted something on Facebook about the presidential debates. However, the post sparked an argument with my mom's childhood best friend, that ended with her telling me that my dad isn't actually my dad. FML

#20120633
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28035) - you deserved it (3284)

On 10/17/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by bastardchild_01 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML

#20758869
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38890) - you deserved it (3284)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:37pm - misc - by AwkwardPotato - United States (California)

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38286) - you deserved it (3284)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, I dug out the 5 fancy, extremely expensive candles I bought during Black Friday. I lit one up, and was delighted that it smelled so great. My mother then walked into my room and stated that it smelled "like shit". The other four were going to be a Christmas gift for her. FML

#21309261
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30813) - you deserved it (3284)

On 12/01/2014 at 2:30am - money - by shitty candles - United States (Washington)

Today, I ran into my ex's family, and found out they are going to Europe. Funnily enough, so am I. Even funnier is the fact that we are going on the same date, at the same time, on the same flights, and the tour starts on the same day in the same place. FML

#7810675
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35020) - you deserved it (3283)

On 02/02/2010 at 9:08am - misc - by jacques (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I broke my collarbone in a rugby tournament. I was forced to sit through five more hours of games because the coach wouldn't take me to the hospital until the tournament was over. FML

#16929999
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32781) - you deserved it (3283)

On 07/01/2011 at 12:15am - health - by nico (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

#18508427
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53936) - you deserved it (3283)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States

Today, after years of training myself to crave healthier foods in order to lose weight, I found out that some of my favorite health-foods actually aggravate my hypothyroidism, and indirectly reduce my metabolism. Broccoli and soybeans are making me fat. FML

#18271623
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26999) - you deserved it (3283)

On 11/17/2011 at 9:34am - health - by healthfoodshmealthfood - United States (New York)



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