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Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

#20129867
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19468) - you deserved it (3327)

On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML

#20029971
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18459) - you deserved it (3327)

On 08/19/2012 at 2:09pm - misc - by spasticock (man) - Portugal (Setubal)

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

#20565029
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38211) - you deserved it (3327)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -

Today, my mother yelled at me for not doing all of my homework. She got so mad, she tore up a drawing I'd spent over a week working on. That was my art homework. FML

#21253019
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44197) - you deserved it (3327)

On 09/06/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by StillPissedOffAtIrony (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

#20755283
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51022) - you deserved it (3327)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by whipplewhip - United States

Today, my cousin decided it would be fun to get drunk before my wedding. During the ceremony, he got up on the stage and tried to do a stage dive into the crowd. He landed on my nephew and broke his arm. FML

Today, I moved fifteen stacks of bricks from our store to a customer's van. After I made all that effort, he decided he didn't like the colour of the bricks after all, and demanded a full refund. FML

#21197488
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45649) - you deserved it (3327)

On 07/03/2014 at 3:49pm - misc - by starflares (man) - Denmark (Centre)

Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML

#4763685
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30231) - you deserved it (3326)

On 08/23/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by SummerGirl0009 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

#12080410
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27615) - you deserved it (3326)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by earths_venus - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received two cards in the mail for my late husband for his birthday. He has been dead for four years now, and the cards were from our two children, who live several states away. This is the fourth time it's happened, and neither of them answer my calls. Ever. FML

#13514836
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42655) - you deserved it (3326)

On 10/19/2010 at 6:58pm - kids - by widow - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

#11804292
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35559) - you deserved it (3326)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:06am - health - by Cheyenne - United States (Washington)

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

#21242612
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34116) - you deserved it (3326)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by ReluctantAntEater (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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