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Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML

#17539205
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25245) - you deserved it (2949)

On 08/21/2011 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my neighbour was practicing his opera singing, drunk. FML

#20869663
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32064) - you deserved it (2949)

On 09/05/2013 at 11:27pm - misc - by Thesuz - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right infront of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML

#205743
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70792) - you deserved it (2948)

On 03/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by VroomVroom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39814) - you deserved it (2948)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML

#20985907
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45209) - you deserved it (2948)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, was my uncle's funeral. He was cremated, and his wish was to have his ashes spread into the sea. As we were waiting for the waves to come and take him away, a group of seagulls came by picking at all his ashes. I guess he tasted good. FML

#12782393
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28757) - you deserved it (2947)

On 08/28/2010 at 2:07am - misc - by SeagullsShouldDie - United States

Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML

#18936748
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38285) - you deserved it (2947)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm - misc - by Come on - United States

Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML

#18751726
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27823) - you deserved it (2947)

On 01/08/2012 at 10:43pm - love - by shades (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

#20145433
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37181) - you deserved it (2947)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38356) - you deserved it (2947)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46743) - you deserved it (2947)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to an over-crowded grocery store. As I reached the front of a long line, I noticed that a cart had been abandoned in everybody's way. Trying to be helpful, I moved it to the side. An enormous woman then shoved me and yelled at me for "pushing her property around." FML

#20953468
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34705) - you deserved it (2947)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by PainStressLife - United States (California)

Today, I had to listen to fellow classmates whine about selling one of their many houses, while I can barely afford to pay for a $100 textbook. FML

#20987288
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42388) - you deserved it (2947)

On 12/10/2013 at 1:04am - money - by thefifthdoctor - United States (Washington)



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