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Today, my co-worker told me that I need to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML

#20493545
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22948) - you deserved it (2449)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:42pm - health - by Mattrd - United States

Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML

#1962553
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38960) - you deserved it (2448)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read "stop banging my boyfriend". I haven't had anyone in over a year. FML

#4325647
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52401) - you deserved it (2448)

On 08/06/2009 at 1:28am - love - by gkline09 - United States

Today, I was on my way to meet the girl I like at the beach. I parked my truck and walked to the restaurant where I was supposed to meet her. She wasn't there so I called her and she told me she cancelled because it started raining. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. FML

#7390197
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24709) - you deserved it (2448)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:13am - love - by Weathersucks - France

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

#18244080
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22381) - you deserved it (2448)

On 11/14/2011 at 3:45am - work - by Anon - United States (Nevada)

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18667) - you deserved it (2448)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML

#20130143
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28237) - you deserved it (2448)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by jeanrose2013 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

#21110479
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40941) - you deserved it (2448)

On 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm - kids - by babylove - South Africa

Today, I was standing on a desk at work to run wiring in a suspended ceiling, since we have no ladder. My phone rang, I rushed to answer it, tripping and smashing my leg. It was my boss, calling to tell me he was bringing over a ladder. FML

#4954
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14281) - you deserved it (2447)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:11pm - work - by fonsui - United States (New York)

Today, while I was making love to my wife, she looks up and says, "I'll paint the ceiling white." FML

#5716873
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12098) - you deserved it (2447)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:41am - intimacy - by JD (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was my last day at work. I was offered a better job and accepted. Not wanting to leave my present boss hanging, I asked for time to give notice. While I trained my replacement, the owner at the new job had time to think about how slow the season is, and he decided not to fill the position. FML

#6748565
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19789) - you deserved it (2447)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:12am - work - by BadKitty42 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML

#5848296
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35763) - you deserved it (2447)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by xXx (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML

#12332951
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30893) - you deserved it (2447)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by Tired (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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