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Today, my girlfriends and I got a caricature painting while on a trip in the city. Unfortunately for me, the part of my appearance that the artist decided to exaggerate was my acne. FML

by fmylifegirl / 12/29/2009 at 3:59pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

Today, it was my first day at my new job. My new boss asked me if I was single. After telling him I have been happily married for 6 years, he fired me on the spot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2011 at 1:35am / United States (Idaho) / Work

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

by ehrmagahd / 12/19/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my two closest friends declared that they hated each other. They're my bridesmaids. The wedding is in three weeks. FML

by SadFace / 09/12/2013 at 8:39am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, a man bought a lot of really expensive stuff. He paid the large bill with cash, and the manager helped me count the money. When we were done, he handed me a $100 bill to thank me for all the help. We can't accept tips. The manager was next to me. I had to say no. FML

by aw-wtf / 08/11/2009 at 1:57pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, while on my graveyard shift at an inner-city backpackers lodge, a drunk pissed in a dorm at 4am. I had to clean up after him, wash all the luggage that got dowsed, clean up 2 separate piles of puke, and help 3 drunken Brits back to their room while they abused me. I have a science degree. FML

by underachiever / 02/20/2010 at 2:29am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML

by yrfavweapon / 07/02/2010 at 3:29pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my brother changed the password on my laptop so that I can't log into my profile. All my notes for school are on it and finals start on Monday. Guess who can't remember the new password. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, I had my back waxed to deal with the uncontrollable hair growth. Afterwards, I broke out in numerous pimples where the hair used to be. Basically, a lose-lose situation. FML

by Mitcha857 / 07/30/2011 at 12:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2013 at 6:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML

by dudezilla / 10/13/2009 at 11:52am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I walked past two guys on the street. I heard one of them whisper, "Jeez, that girl looks like Donald Trump." FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2010 at 8:47pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boyfriend gave me a long, philosophical explanation about how he doesn't love me, but we should still have sex. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2014 at 11:35pm / United States (California) / Intimacy