Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML

#20971273
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38500) - you deserved it (3221)

On 11/26/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came back from a two week vacation. As I walked in the door, my boyfriend greeted me with a "Hey, honey! Could you clean the crockpot?" It still had the chicken in it from my going away dinner. FML

Today, after my first flight landed late, I burned out my lungs sprinting full speed for 10 minutes to catch my next flight. The gate number on my ticket was wrong. It had been changed to one right next to where I had originally pulled up to. FML

#8501700
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25017) - you deserved it (3220)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by mad flyer - Sent from mobile version

Today, the girl I really liked started talking to me, so I asked her out on a date. After waiting an hour at the theatre, I texted her asking where she was. She replied with, "Oh! You were serious about the date?!" FML

#14621087
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35715) - you deserved it (3220)

On 01/18/2011 at 12:05am - love - by MCKilllerrr - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years asked my dad if he could marry me, and my dad agreed. He then tells me that he's not going to propose for maybe another year at least, he "just wanted to get that out of the way." FML

#18610596
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27756) - you deserved it (3220)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the Salvation Army to donate some clothes. As I was handing over the 4 huge bags that I had carried for 10 blocks, while 6 months pregnant, somebody stole my purse. FML

#14211022
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38267) - you deserved it (3219)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:58am - misc - by mugged (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML

#20072034
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22289) - you deserved it (3219)

On 09/14/2012 at 8:03pm - love - by wow kid just leave me alone (woman) - United States

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46049) - you deserved it (3219)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML

#5389854
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40680) - you deserved it (3218)

On 09/21/2009 at 6:53am - love - by Wronged (man) - Singapore

Today, my dad was complaining about how he makes so little money, so I suggested he invent something. The first thing that came to his mind was an automatic animal masturbator. FML

#19135287
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25133) - you deserved it (3218)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by nothowtheydoitinalabama - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am feeling freezing cold and soaking wet. It turns out that my dad had opened my window when I was sleeping, and rain water had been pouring in on me all night. My hair, face, pillow, blankets, alarm clock, and homework were all soaked as well. FML

#20722563
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46701) - you deserved it (3218)

On 06/12/2013 at 10:40pm - misc - by Anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

#21002133
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42955) - you deserved it (3218)

On 12/23/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by GogglesGoggles - United States

Today, I bought a Santa hat. After wearing the hat for a few hours, I noticed a strange lump near the tip of it. I stuck my hand inside to dig out the mysterious object. It was a dead cockroach. FML

#21308445
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31090) - you deserved it (3218)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: