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Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML

#20684874
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42642) - you deserved it (2902)

On 05/25/2013 at 1:09am - work - by mmmretail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother asked me why her new airsoft gun wasn't working. I explained to her that it doesn't actually shoot air, it requires pellets too. She looked at me like I was too stupid to be her son. FML

#21078133
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37575) - you deserved it (2902)

On 03/04/2014 at 7:09pm - kids - by Drizztreri - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a zero on my math test. My teacher was convinced that I had written the answers on my arm. No answers, just really thick, black arm hair. FML

#13380605
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29449) - you deserved it (2901)

On 10/09/2010 at 4:54pm - misc - by Sean - United States (California)

Today, my father met my boyfriend for the first time at dinner. The only thing he said to him the whole evening was, "Are you circumcised?" FML

#18164044
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30660) - you deserved it (2901)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:59am - misc - by shamed - United Kingdom

Today, after years of torment and relentless harassment, I finally built up the courage to stand up to a bully. I got a detention for swearing at him. FML

#18310525
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34866) - you deserved it (2901)

On 11/21/2011 at 7:35pm - misc - by damnedbydurberg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

#19870178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21608) - you deserved it (2901)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25953) - you deserved it (2901)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail which splattered it into my face. FML

#6202329
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28805) - you deserved it (2900)

On 11/07/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by shando - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was getting on a bus, the driver shut the door on me while I was half way inside. Instead of apologizing to me, he criticized me for getting in the way. FML

#6049561
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27416) - you deserved it (2900)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by insignificant (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

#7564644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27929) - you deserved it (2900)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML

#7739701
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27035) - you deserved it (2900)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:46am - misc - by bthms - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML

#19692417
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24339) - you deserved it (2900)

On 05/28/2012 at 5:38am - misc - by Broke (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47757) - you deserved it (2900)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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