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Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana. FML

#3935872
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58160) - you deserved it (3262)

On 07/21/2009 at 6:17pm - kids - by GabsAlot829 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML

#12332951
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35833) - you deserved it (3262)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by Tired (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML

#15881696
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36820) - you deserved it (3262)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:53am - love - by AngryBirdman -

Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent 4 hours cleaning my apartment. 2 minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML

#18669836
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29464) - you deserved it (3262)

On 01/01/2012 at 12:41am - love - by upsetandannoyed - United States (New York)

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

#20679293
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43400) - you deserved it (3262)

On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States

Today, yet again, I got to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on and porn sites opened. Weird porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this, or how they have access to my office, or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML

#20894123
166 comments

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

#21230823
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39950) - you deserved it (3262)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:21am - kids - by We raised that fool (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML

#21353586
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31990) - you deserved it (3262)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by doomed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to catch a coach to London at 4 in the morning. I was late so I had to take any free seat, so sat down next to a seemingly sweet old man. Within ten minutes, the sweet old man was trying to kiss me and trying to pull me on top of him. Nobody said anything. The journey was 4 hours long. FML

#5017525
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42531) - you deserved it (3261)

On 09/03/2009 at 8:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML

#8051143
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34808) - you deserved it (3261)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

#14019566
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24357) - you deserved it (3261)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by AntiAxe -

Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

#20781242
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47791) - you deserved it (3261)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Upset Mommy - United States

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40441) - you deserved it (3261)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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