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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML

#17384157
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32929) - you deserved it (3669)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by nomorecookies - United States (Missouri)

Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML

#20121390
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26906) - you deserved it (3669)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by DrugsRX (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28455) - you deserved it (3669)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my "best friend" while I was away on vacation. She is now writing on her blog about how heartbreaking the whole situation is for her, and how she's "stuck in the middle of all this." FML

#20605576
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53787) - you deserved it (3669)

On 04/19/2013 at 5:50pm - misc - by sherrylynn (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

#21350749
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36069) - you deserved it (3669)

On 02/06/2015 at 2:06am - animals - by ZAnon - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML

#908452
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56187) - you deserved it (3668)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by NotRetarded (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my best friend why she didn't ask our other best friend Anna to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. She said, "She's too pretty. I need ugly bridesmaids to make me look better." I am the maid of honor. FML

#2187535
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60618) - you deserved it (3668)

On 05/22/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by Neverthebride - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

#18959581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24563) - you deserved it (3668)

On 01/31/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by Lentil (woman) - Australia

Today, my husband has decided to grow a mullet. FML

#19799986
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30816) - you deserved it (3668)

On 06/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by flyingpuppy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML

#20988657
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54472) - you deserved it (3668)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boss pretty much told me that I'm too ugly to meet clients, and should stay in the office doing the paperwork. So basically, I'm a modern day Hunchback of Notre Dame. FML

#21232284
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40159) - you deserved it (3668)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:13am - work - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML

#21349786
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29088) - you deserved it (3668)

On 02/04/2015 at 4:49pm - misc - by jl_word - United States

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

#15281209
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45843) - you deserved it (3667)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)



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