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Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

#10628803
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34134) - you deserved it (2954)

On 05/19/2010 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by GrossedOutKary (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML

Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML

#14160788
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30908) - you deserved it (2954)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous - Indonesia

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

#19642292
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27742) - you deserved it (2954)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

#20002229
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21674) - you deserved it (2954)

On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML

#20507079
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28115) - you deserved it (2954)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML

#20632758
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45785) - you deserved it (2954)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

#17391644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26477) - you deserved it (2953)

On 08/06/2011 at 10:49pm - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

#17888720
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25063) - you deserved it (2953)

On 10/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by scared (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

#17980491
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28475) - you deserved it (2953)

On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26330) - you deserved it (2953)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got back to my apartment from being away for the past week on Spring break. I found the locks on my apartment changed and all my things on the curb, many of them broken or stolen. I ran to the leasing office to see what had happened. Turns out it was an accounting error on their part. FML

#250263
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88048) - you deserved it (2952)

On 03/09/2009 at 8:12am - misc - by Homeless (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I accepted a great job offer I've been working months to earn so I can continue to live with my fiancé here in Poland. I just found out that my work visa was denied. Now I have to fly home to Canada and reapply before coming back. This takes a month. My new job starts tomorrow. FML



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