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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML

#19967634
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21528) - you deserved it (3198)

On 07/21/2012 at 11:08am - love - by marquez_jasmine - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36307) - you deserved it (3198)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML

#3028813
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42830) - you deserved it (3197)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML

#8246402
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18357) - you deserved it (3197)

On 02/14/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by DallasGal (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm a nanny. After the kids went to bed the dog wouldn't stop barking violently unless I held the end of a blanket for him to hump. I need a raise. FML

#16738818
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32992) - you deserved it (3197)

On 06/19/2011 at 1:19am - work - by fattymcbutterpants - United States

Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML

#18576133
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25164) - you deserved it (3198)

On 12/22/2011 at 12:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58884) - you deserved it (3197)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30864) - you deserved it (3197)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, I found out why my bank balance is so unusually low. It turns out that I bought a car in Indonesia. I've never been to Indonesia. FML

#20766607
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53719) - you deserved it (3197)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my little sister is having a friend spend the night. Our rooms are right next to one another and the walls are thin. We are now entering the fourth hour of a singing contest so off-key that it should be illegal. FML

#20933172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40879) - you deserved it (3198)

On 10/25/2013 at 2:48am - misc - by ThisIsAgony - United States (Nevada)

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

#21306857
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33870) - you deserved it (3197)

On 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML

#577
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25993) - you deserved it (3196)

On 12/23/2008 at 1:47am - misc - by zazadudu - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

#15968
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49431) - you deserved it (3196)

On 02/08/2009 at 9:14pm - intimacy - by ADT (man) - United States (California)



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