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Today, my friend got a babysitter for the kids and told me she was taking me to a party. My son told me his band was playing at a party. I will be 40 tomorrow, so I thought this would be the best surprise birthday party ever. It WAS a surprise birthday party – for a friend of ours. FML

#4952305
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32918) - you deserved it (3074)

On 08/31/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by kelkline (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33081) - you deserved it (3074)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML

#17334083
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27138) - you deserved it (3074)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:29pm - misc - by Emma - United States (New York)

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

#20690777
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54599) - you deserved it (3074)

On 05/28/2013 at 4:09am - love - by really? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML

#2372451
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51851) - you deserved it (3073)

On 05/28/2009 at 12:52pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I can't get my heat to turn off. It is currently 87 degrees Fahrenheit in my house, and my heat is running non-stop. It's about 20 degrees outside with over a foot of snow on the ground, so a repairman can't come out to fix it. My electricity bill will be about $1000. FML

#6829701
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29526) - you deserved it (3073)

On 12/19/2009 at 3:10pm - money - by heatproblems (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

#10540841
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28610) - you deserved it (3073)

On 05/15/2010 at 2:27am - misc - by sheridan.ashley (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I finally had enough money to buy my girlfriend an engagement ring, which I was going to pick up after work. On my way to work, I slid on the ice and crashed into a parked vehicle. The damage to my car is almost twice the amount of the ring. FML

#6536864
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32043) - you deserved it (3072)

On 11/30/2009 at 6:24pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

#19159712
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40049) - you deserved it (3072)

On 02/25/2012 at 9:35am - intimacy - by fmylifebigtime - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was my birthday. I spent all day in bed, sick with the flu. My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, because he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person. FML

#20838443
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51378) - you deserved it (3072)

On 08/15/2013 at 7:28am - love - by Rachel8896 - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend called me and he was very upset, crying that he had been betrayed. He then began to explain that his friend had slept with his ex-girlfriend. I asked why he was so upset, and he said he still loved her, and really thought they were going to be able to work things out. FML

#3679896
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58708) - you deserved it (3071)

On 07/11/2009 at 11:18pm - love - by Hopeless (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML

#6436745
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39291) - you deserved it (3071)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by bmonehh (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom went snooping through my art bin to "clean out my old drawings". She found numerous nude pieces and accused me of selling porn. My mom mistook and threw out 57 anatomy practice sketches that I worked very very hard on, and ripped up the remainder of my drawings. FML

#4391923
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50283) - you deserved it (3070)

On 08/08/2009 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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