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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went on a date with a guy that I met at a masquerade. The moment he saw me without my mask on, he left the date. FML

#8892193
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26173) - you deserved it (3204)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:38pm - misc - by workinggirl (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, all the while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

#12624086
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37423) - you deserved it (3204)

On 08/19/2010 at 11:48am - misc - by feartheend511 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

#21274083
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34303) - you deserved it (3204)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:27am - love - by MoRuined (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

#21293802
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33208) - you deserved it (3204)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend called me and he was very upset, crying that he had been betrayed. He then began to explain that his friend had slept with his ex-girlfriend. I asked why he was so upset, and he said he still loved her, and really thought they were going to be able to work things out. FML

#3679896
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60346) - you deserved it (3202)

On 07/11/2009 at 11:18pm - love - by Hopeless (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that "going for a meal and going out clubbing" for New Year's means me cooking for my mates and driving them to the pub. FML

#7042607
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20695) - you deserved it (3202)

On 12/30/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by stonesober (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I was rejected for an internship due to 'lack of experience.' I have both an MA and a BA from a highly prestigious school and years of work experience. My would-be superior: a 24 year old without a graduate degree and only one year of work experience. She wore jeans to the interview. FML

#7137648
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28961) - you deserved it (3202)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:29am - work - by screwed (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a little girl wandered into the glass-cleaning area of the pub I work at. It's a dangerous place for a little kid, so I took her hand and asked where her mum was. The kid starts screaming and the mother appears in the doorway shouting "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!" FML

#15967561
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32430) - you deserved it (3202)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:13pm - work - by srsly_what (man) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

#20740202
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44026) - you deserved it (3202)

On 06/22/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

#20889651
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47785) - you deserved it (3202)

On 09/21/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

#20940427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48072) - you deserved it (3202)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my teacher told us at least 7 different stories about his cat, Jeremy, and how much he eats. And he wonders why we never get anything done in his class. FML

#21097211
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35301) - you deserved it (3202)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - animals - by alicia75 - United States (Indiana)

Today, at work, a crazy customer forced me to promise to take a holiday greeting picture of my cat and myself for her. She says she'll be back and expects one. FML

#21300741
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28217) - you deserved it (3202)

On 11/17/2014 at 1:48pm - animals - by not crazy enough (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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