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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

#19869373
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23252) - you deserved it (3109)

On 06/30/2012 at 1:08am - work - by John - United States (New York)

Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said "excuse me". The lady then maced me through the open window. FML

#20494408
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26818) - you deserved it (3109)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States

Today, I found out after spending my life's income on paying for my grandma's cancer treatment that she has been faking it. FML

#20859354
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54163) - you deserved it (3109)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:48pm - health - by scammed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML

#17157621
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29535) - you deserved it (3108)

On 07/18/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by Kurochrome - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

#18630466
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31349) - you deserved it (3108)

On 12/28/2011 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML

#20420365
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28157) - you deserved it (3108)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend said that while she was playing volleyball, her whole life flashed before her eyes. According to her grandmother, my girlfriend is now psychic. She completely believes it. FML

#20574330
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29870) - you deserved it (3108)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by CrazyBitch - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

#20907968
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44045) - you deserved it (3108)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by CelibateHero (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our livingroom wall with a painted one. Of our German Sheperd. FML

#2057571
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42646) - you deserved it (3107)

On 05/18/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by trgtyo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that "going for a meal and going out clubbing" for New Year's means me cooking for my mates and driving them to the pub. FML

#7042607
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19476) - you deserved it (3107)

On 12/30/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by stonesober (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32752) - you deserved it (3107)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML

#18712372
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22541) - you deserved it (3107)

On 01/05/2012 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

#20162862
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31677) - you deserved it (3107)

On 11/14/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by nolove - Australia



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