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Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML

#17826284
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31913) - you deserved it (3338)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Leenotgay (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

#19504984
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27644) - you deserved it (3338)

On 04/21/2012 at 4:36am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

#20663501
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54393) - you deserved it (3338)

On 05/14/2013 at 6:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML

#20830853
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61585) - you deserved it (3338)

On 08/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

#20963751
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37558) - you deserved it (3338)

On 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was walking around my college campus when someone asked me if I had gotten separated from my tour group. He didn't believe me when I said I was a student there. This happens all the time. FML

#21095673
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36366) - you deserved it (3338)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the doctor. I told her I felt down all the time. She asked me a few questions and she told me I was depressed. She suggested to go home and find the sources of my depression. When I told my parents, they started laughing and said "Yeah, right." I think I found my source. FML

#3429206
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48610) - you deserved it (3337)

On 07/02/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by farrahfarrest_ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my father for some help paying my college tuition. He told me he'd help me after I become more accredited than he is. My father has 2 PHDs. I'm studying to be an elementary school teacher. FML

#6255199
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27505) - you deserved it (3337)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:47am - misc - by Stupidteach (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my parents' divorce lawyer. When I answered the phone, she thought I was my mother and told me the details about my parent's divorce. I'm a 13-year-old boy who sounds like a woman and just learned that my parents are separating. FML

#4374791
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61650) - you deserved it (3336)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:57pm - misc - by madaskueuchiha (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to listen to a girl who just came back from the bathroom, talk about the "gigantic massive dump" she took, and even held her hands up to show the size. FML

#8835059
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21840) - you deserved it (3336)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:51pm - misc - by Grossed_out (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a nap in our country house. I was sick with a fever of 101.3. When I woke up, I see that my family had left to go back to the apartment. They forgot me. FML

#16543151
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34349) - you deserved it (3336)

On 06/07/2011 at 6:27am - misc - by Sickinbed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML

#19235270
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21332) - you deserved it (3336)

On 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm - work - by Janitor (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I confessed to my co-worker that I've secretly loved him for months. He laughed hysterically for about a minute straight before shaking his head and excusing himself from the store. Even the fact that my boss fired him for leaving early isn't cheering me up. FML

#19965538
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20737) - you deserved it (3336)

On 07/20/2012 at 9:59pm - love - by Alanis (woman) - United States



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