Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML

#21082304
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38906) - you deserved it (2913)

On 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, a would-be customer practically kicked my store door in, then got pissed and started throwing around insults after I told him that we were still closed, hence the closed sign. He claimed the sign was "confusing". FML

#21098658
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34939) - you deserved it (2913)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:11pm - work - by IDIOT (man) - United States

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

#761
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19223) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:16am - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, while entering the building I live in, I walked into my neighbor who winked at me and said last night must have been great. After I asked why, he said he could hear my girlfriend moaning and screaming, and that I must be pretty good at it. I was just coming back from a week overseas. FML

#4394245
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65476) - you deserved it (2912)

On 08/08/2009 at 9:56pm - intimacy - by ouch (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26709) - you deserved it (2912)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML

#20914908
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38279) - you deserved it (2912)

On 10/10/2013 at 7:27am - misc - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

#20968220
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43212) - you deserved it (2912)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML

#18155
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37330) - you deserved it (2911)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by TGIkaty - United States (California)

Today, I was in class just taking notes and minding my own business. The teacher has already called my parents twice complaining about me. As we are taking 3 pages of notes she grabs mine and rips them up, saying that she is sick and tired of me drawing. I was drawing the graphs on the board. FML

#5408383
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44591) - you deserved it (2911)

On 09/22/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by wait..what (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my wife and I received confirmation that she has postpartum depression. When sharing this with the family, my mother exclaimed "I told you she was a psycho!" Now my wife is crying louder and more often than our newborn. Thanks, mom. FML

#14383420
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33267) - you deserved it (2911)

On 12/29/2010 at 3:03pm - health - by ppd_sucks (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

#17982026
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37462) - you deserved it (2911)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

#18827705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28279) - you deserved it (2911)

On 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by Cathy - United States

Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML

#20037324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19204) - you deserved it (2911)

On 08/23/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by fet (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: