Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38123) - you deserved it (3676)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML

#20902262
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38752) - you deserved it (3676)

On 09/30/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by hairy (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML

#13466468
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44007) - you deserved it (3675)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Shooter71 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to check out a dating site, when I stumbled across my ex wife's profile. She'd had it for four out of the five years of our marriage. And no, it didn't rate us as a good match. FML

#21305183
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33803) - you deserved it (3675)

On 11/24/2014 at 1:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband passed a massive kidney stone. He is so proud of it that he wants to decorate our home with it. It is now sitting on my kitchen counter next to my produce. FML

Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML

#6013490
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36281) - you deserved it (3674)

On 10/26/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by laxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my landlord informed me that after 8 months, we are finally getting cable and internet in our house. I move out tomorrow. FML

#15948850
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34071) - you deserved it (3674)

On 04/27/2011 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35324) - you deserved it (3674)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML

#21090883
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46368) - you deserved it (3674)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm - misc - by donttouchmyhair (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, they are pumping out the septic system in the building next door. I am three months pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and can smell everything within a three-mile radius. FML

#5958040
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36440) - you deserved it (3673)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:12pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

#17297056
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46948) - you deserved it (3673)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

#20163115
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26901) - you deserved it (3673)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34582) - you deserved it (3673)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: