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Today, my mom got a new puppy and named her Olivia. Which would be fine, if that wasn't the name I had been planning to give my baby, who's due in 3 weeks. Thanks mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19614) - you deserved it (1365)
On 07/25/2012 at 3:46pm - kids - by madmomma - United States (Oregon)
Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26966) - you deserved it (1365)
On 04/02/2013 at 9:34am - work - by ak_6694 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my mom tried to diagnose my sickness with advice she'd gotten from a dog magazine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18052) - you deserved it (1363)
On 09/27/2011 at 3:25pm - health - by fml - United States
Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over 2 years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17451) - you deserved it (1363)
On 09/30/2012 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, at school, I have to do a 45 minute presentation with a girl who has panic attacks so bad that she cries, runs out of the room, and sometimes passes out. This presentation terrifies her and it's a major part of my final grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16954) - you deserved it (1363)
On 12/05/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Murlocmurk - United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after my check cleared for my half of the $1000 deposit on our new apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14898) - you deserved it (1362)
On 05/23/2012 at 2:26am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my work finally hired someone to replace some leaky pipes at work. I work in the basement by myself, and just as I walk under the newly fixed pipes, I get soaked with water. Apparently it was connected to a toilet. My boss couldn't find a replacement so they made me work covered in piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23794) - you deserved it (1362)
On 08/22/2009 at 11:29pm - work - by lifestinks (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was at my sister's wedding. Everything was going flawlessly. That is, until our visibly drunk mom started a punch-up over who got to cut the cake first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18016) - you deserved it (1362)
On 10/07/2011 at 10:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside for 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18699) - you deserved it (1362)
On 11/23/2011 at 10:38am - misc - by CRC (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16708) - you deserved it (1362)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15758) - you deserved it (1362)
On 10/12/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by firstdategonebad - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22344) - you deserved it (1362)
Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21798) - you deserved it (1361)
On 07/23/2010 at 8:59am - love - by justmyluck25 (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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