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Today, I was looking forward to coming home to a freshly-cooked meal. Coming home to a cowering dog, two inches of water on the floor, and being handed a mop is just as good, I guess. FML

#7199180
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23087) - you deserved it (3162)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:38pm - animals - by Flooded (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I haven't had any real sleep in 4 days because I am an insomniac. My father is also an insomniac but he takes Ambien to get his rest. Me? I'm stuck staring at the ceiling for hours because he won't let me take any kind of medication, because he doesn't want me "getting addicted." FML

#12533834
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28949) - you deserved it (3162)

On 08/15/2010 at 3:23am - health - by sleeplessinID (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found out that our neighbors told almost everyone on our street that I was mentally handicapped. All this time I wasn't sure why they would speak slowly and loudly at me. Now they won't believe me when I tell them I'm a 4.0 GPA student. FML

#15650544
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31817) - you deserved it (3162)

On 04/05/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by Imslow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was informed that my boyfriend's mother would be joining us on our Valentine's dinner. I'm not sure if this momma's boy thing is going to work out. FML

#19061872
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25340) - you deserved it (3162)

On 02/12/2012 at 11:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML

#19782263
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25537) - you deserved it (3162)

On 06/13/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by sopissed - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

#20189568
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38924) - you deserved it (3162)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML

#1935923
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34734) - you deserved it (3161)

On 05/14/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by overlandparkmommie (woman) - United States

Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML

#5476343
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41669) - you deserved it (3161)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at my new job, I took some food out to a customer. Walking away, I heard a lady mumble, "Oh my God, you could never pay me enough to wear that." FML

#14197069
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21317) - you deserved it (3161)

On 12/13/2010 at 11:13pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I decided to take a nap before a big job interview at 6. I set two alarm clocks to make sure I didn't miss it, but I woke up at 5:59. As I'm scrambling in a panic to get out the door, my mom says calmly, "I took your alarm clocks out of your room because you looked really tired today." FML

#10841820
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39105) - you deserved it (3161)

On 05/29/2010 at 1:39pm - misc - by thanksmum (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my husband who asked for a divorce four days ago announced his engagement on Facebook. His new woman's profile picture is my engagement ring. FML

#14842088
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45283) - you deserved it (3161)

On 02/04/2011 at 6:07pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home from school and found my mother singing along to her latest investment, a compilation CD filled with heavy metal covers of ABBA classics. FML

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

#19201903
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21048) - you deserved it (3161)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)



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