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Today, while staying at my brother's place for the Christmas holidays, I had to leave because he threatened to "take me outside". Apparently he doesn't like being corrected on whether a certain car has a long wheel base version, so I guess the family Christmas is over. FML

#21005745
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28433) - you deserved it (3297)

On 12/26/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by detour165 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while fishing my remote out from behind the couch, I found my fiancé's stash of old toenails. FML

#21257075
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35281) - you deserved it (3297)

On 09/12/2014 at 6:27pm - misc - by jjhach (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I used an air freshener in my room to make it smell good. At first, the smell was pretty pleasant. However, by the time it'd "soaked in" it smelled just like weed. My whole room stinks of it, and now my mum is convinced I've been smoking pot in my room. FML

#21387075
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24805) - you deserved it (3297)

On 04/03/2015 at 3:05pm - misc - by HtotheFtotheS - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

#9097770
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18995) - you deserved it (3296)

On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)

Today, I had no choice but to shake the hand of a customer, who just moments before, had the aforementioned hand down the front of his pants, scratching his snowglobes. FML

#14882108
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29000) - you deserved it (3296)

On 02/07/2011 at 1:04pm - work - by hushnow - United States

Today, after telling my mother-in-law about my recent miscarriage, she cheerfully made a cake to celebrate. FML

#20714826
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49109) - you deserved it (3296)

On 06/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anoymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

#20880468
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43816) - you deserved it (3296)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML

#21072669
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36424) - you deserved it (3296)

On 02/26/2014 at 10:28pm - work - by Lori_ftw - United States (California)

Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML

#21106207
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43243) - you deserved it (3296)

On 04/06/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I received a phone call from the counselor at my son's preschool, requesting that I come pick him up. He was barking incessantly at his classmates. And when they asked him to stop, he growled. FML

Today, my parents bought me a wine glass with "Who needs a man?" painted all over it. Cute, until after dinner my mom looked me in the eyes and asked with complete sincerity, "Kara, are you gay?" My parents tried to get me to come out. I'm straight. FML

#2140497
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50666) - you deserved it (3295)

On 05/21/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by pa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

#20137933
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26966) - you deserved it (3295)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

#20663096
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38328) - you deserved it (3295)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States



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