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Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML

#1763886
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55723) - you deserved it (3075)

On 05/08/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I received a packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML

#24806
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59618) - you deserved it (3075)

On 02/11/2009 at 10:51am - misc - by Distressed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

#5498731
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38178) - you deserved it (3075)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a date with someone I've had a crush on for a long time. It was after midnight, we were chatting in the car and I was close to having my first kiss ever. That is, until a bunch of policemen popped up to arrest my date for being a suspected drug dealer. FML

#8651104
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29486) - you deserved it (3075)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:05pm - love - by ifaisal - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, after being laid off for over a year, I got turned down for an unpaid internship. I can't even get people to let me work for free. FML

#16561616
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29131) - you deserved it (3075)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML

#17688285
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31717) - you deserved it (3075)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:57pm - health - by AudraRose - United States

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39702) - you deserved it (3075)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30315) - you deserved it (3075)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41476) - you deserved it (3078)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my friend got a babysitter for the kids and told me she was taking me to a party. My son told me his band was playing at a party. I will be 40 tomorrow, so I thought this would be the best surprise birthday party ever. It WAS a surprise birthday party – for a friend of ours. FML

#4952305
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32911) - you deserved it (3074)

On 08/31/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by kelkline (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33074) - you deserved it (3074)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

#20690777
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54593) - you deserved it (3074)

On 05/28/2013 at 4:09am - love - by really? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML

#771
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23115) - you deserved it (3073)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:38am - health - by - Sent from mobile version



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