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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of us getting married some day. She said she wasn't sure about me yet and that we may want to go in different directions soon. We've been dating for three years and I had the ring in my pocket at the moment. FML

#6873751
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41259) - you deserved it (3683)

On 12/21/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by chao (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

#13894998
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29555) - you deserved it (3683)

On 11/19/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by Amanda -

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. You would think he could at least spell my name right while ending our relationship. FML

#14494022
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34838) - you deserved it (3683)

On 01/07/2011 at 3:41am - love - by bunnyyy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

#21293802
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36222) - you deserved it (3683)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML

#7056556
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38401) - you deserved it (3682)

On 12/31/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by lifesux (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

#16559634
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45485) - you deserved it (3682)

On 06/08/2011 at 7:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I found a pound of cooked bacon in the dryer. When I asked my roommate about it, he confessed; his excuse was that he wanted to dry up the grease before eating it. FML

Today, I was at a piano lesson playing a song I had worked very hard to make perfect. Halfway through, my teacher abruptly stops me and asks, "Did you notice that I rearranged the furniture?" FML

#20811045
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45210) - you deserved it (3682)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44711) - you deserved it (3682)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML

#21276854
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38172) - you deserved it (3682)

On 10/13/2014 at 11:42am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML

#21297662
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45779) - you deserved it (3682)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland)

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33007) - you deserved it (3682)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

#16322705
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29908) - you deserved it (3681)

On 05/24/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous -



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