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Today, my dad's conspiracy theory obsession hit a new level of stupidity when he blurted "false flag" because our toaster stopped working. FML

#20797881
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31251) - you deserved it (2696)

On 07/22/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by facepalm (man) - United States

Today, playing soccer, I jumped up to make a header and clear the ball away from our goal. I got the ball but some guy kicked me in the face. I was taken off. All the parents were horrified, saying how badly my nose must have broken. Turns out my nose was fine. That's just how my nose looks. FML

#20979759
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36436) - you deserved it (2696)

On 12/03/2013 at 9:03pm - health - by supras (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother-in-law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother-in-law to be." And then I saw her name. FML

#2593216
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64651) - you deserved it (2695)

On 06/04/2009 at 7:11am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML

#51117
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42139) - you deserved it (2695)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom learned how to use the text messaging on her smartphone. I've received 37 already, and she calls after every single one to make sure I understood her. FML

#18137674
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32938) - you deserved it (2695)

On 11/02/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML

#19545026
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24139) - you deserved it (2695)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML

#20144153
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19165) - you deserved it (2695)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:17am - work - by PieterseMJ - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

#20164794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23190) - you deserved it (2694)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34780) - you deserved it (2694)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today, I had to listen to my boss say "Arabica beans" in a goofy, fake New England accent every time the McDonald's ice coffee commercial came on the radio. I worked a 12-hour shift. FML

#20937230
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29757) - you deserved it (2694)

On 10/28/2013 at 8:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, at work the police were looking over video footage of an incident earlier in the day where a car had slammed hard into another one in the carpark. My manager came into the kitchen and asked if I wanted to come see it to for a laugh. The car that got hit was mine. FML

#742330
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70924) - you deserved it (2693)

On 04/01/2009 at 6:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML

#1842179
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54930) - you deserved it (2693)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by JSF1234 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML

#5758524
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37170) - you deserved it (2693)

On 10/10/2009 at 2:06pm - love - by pistonsunshine (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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