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Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49603) - you deserved it (3299)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a customer wanted a military discount for buying two 39 cent Slim Jims. I work at an auto parts store. FML

#20854690
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34808) - you deserved it (3299)

On 08/26/2013 at 1:51am - work - by luvmypony (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned I'm allergic to the 5-month-old kitten we got 3 days ago. It loves me, follows me everywhere and sleeps on my lap in the evenings. FML

#21310909
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31509) - you deserved it (3299)

On 12/03/2014 at 6:24pm - animals - by crazy cat lady - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I received my graduation gift, a bath robe, from my parents. My have two older sisters also graduated. The first one got a Tiffany's bracelet, the second one got a plane ticket to Europe. FML

#260878
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71137) - you deserved it (3298)

On 03/10/2009 at 2:37pm - misc - by dileigh (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke up very excited because I was going on my first date with this guy I really liked. I dressed very nicely and went to where we were supposed to meet. I waited for about 2 hours. I called him to ask him where he was. He got angry because he was still sleeping and I woke him up. FML

#12998632
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30940) - you deserved it (3298)

On 09/11/2010 at 12:47am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my second roommate in less then a week got a DUI. Both roommates are demanding that I drive them around for free until they get their licenses back, or else they won't have the funds to pay their rent. FML

#16418621
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33849) - you deserved it (3298)

On 05/30/2011 at 2:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

#16687724
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39090) - you deserved it (3298)

On 06/16/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Ari (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the end of my shift with a long line of customers, the older woman I was checking out calmly said, "You should take a minute to fix your hair dear, we have all been talking about it while we waited." FML

#17818290
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24113) - you deserved it (3298)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:21am - work - by Cashier (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML

#20564269
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47158) - you deserved it (3298)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Hellosinglelife (man) - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44470) - you deserved it (3298)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML

#21255855
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30410) - you deserved it (3298)

On 09/10/2014 at 6:40pm - health - by skinnyguy23 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML

#21375957
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27598) - you deserved it (3298)

On 03/16/2015 at 8:56pm - health - by manderpander21 - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my mom and dad got a divorce. They didn't tell me, they just changed their relationship status on Facebook. FML

#15635122
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45055) - you deserved it (3297)

On 04/04/2011 at 12:23pm - love - by carolinagirl (woman) - United States (South Carolina)



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