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Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

#19428378
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23346) - you deserved it (3115)

On 04/08/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by Jordan - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML

#19964000
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23409) - you deserved it (3115)

On 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm - love - by Taylor (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

#20883979
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40043) - you deserved it (3115)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm - misc - by zachadams - United States (New York)

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

#21198585
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44619) - you deserved it (3115)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

#7835541
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28417) - you deserved it (3114)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:11am - money - by olyswimmer (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

#8587618
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24968) - you deserved it (3114)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by disgusted - United States (Georgia)

Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML

#21138754
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38030) - you deserved it (3114)

On 05/13/2014 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I had a basketball game against our rivals. Since the starting guard had a broken ankle, I felt happy that I could finally get playing time and prove that I'm good. Instead I had to run the scoreboard for the game, because the scoreboard guy was absent. FML

#3573001
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37139) - you deserved it (3113)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:49am - misc - by Benchthewarmer (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML

#6976804
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25200) - you deserved it (3113)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

#7618857
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (3113)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Boned...hard - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML

#18056102
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25324) - you deserved it (3113)

On 10/23/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML

#15128111
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28766) - you deserved it (3113)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by BackToRehab - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while coming back from skiing, a woman asked me if I could help her carry her stroller. I put my skis down and helped her. When I came back to pick my skis up, I saw two guys running away with my gear. You try chasing someone while wearing ski boots. FML



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