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Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML

#20548927
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42832) - you deserved it (3087)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States

Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML

#21238688
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44226) - you deserved it (3087)

On 08/16/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by bad birthdays - United States (California)

Today, I was shopping when I suddenly slipped on the wet floor and my basket and my groceries were flung everywhere. Moments later, one of the cleaners walked over holding a "wet floor" sign, saw me and laughed. FML

#21229760
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39855) - you deserved it (3087)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:52am - misc - by ms98 - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I checked my email after a week of no cell reception or internet while I was stuck at a family holiday cottage. There was an email offering me the RA job I've been trying to get for almost a year, telling me congratulations and to reply by Friday if I accepted. Last Friday. FML

#6960951
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26033) - you deserved it (3086)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:34pm - work - by Humbug (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a woman called my work and accused me of having an affair with her husband, my coworker, demanding that my boss discipline me. I don't know her, I barely know her husband, and I haven't had sex in months. FML

#15680012
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36847) - you deserved it (3086)

On 04/07/2011 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by kharrington - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML

#17926185
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39246) - you deserved it (3086)

On 10/07/2011 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML

#216994
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53023) - you deserved it (3085)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother offered to pay for my tickets to go see my girlfriend who I haven't seen for 6 months. She was happy to pay for the £130 flight, but then refused half way through the purchase because she wasn't going to "let the buggers charge £13 extra" for using her credit card. FML

#17668770
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22411) - you deserved it (3085)

On 09/05/2011 at 7:32am - misc - by Grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML

#18381687
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27871) - you deserved it (3085)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by reallyupset (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. 5 minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

#20074281
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17886) - you deserved it (3085)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by kacie smith - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got called an "evil Nazi bitch" because I let a customer know that this is the last day our store will have free plastic bags. FML

#20581805
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32626) - you deserved it (3085)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:18am - work - by steppppphhhhhh - United States (California)

Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML

#21265921
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37353) - you deserved it (3085)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



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