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Today, I went to the allergist. I found out that I am allergic to dogs, cats, wool, fleece, and pet dander. I'm currently planning to go to school to become a veterinarian. FML

#6054413
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37648) - you deserved it (3304)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:36pm - work - by KMack (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

#20171880
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30414) - you deserved it (3304)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out after spending my life's income on paying for my grandma's cancer treatment that she has been faking it. FML

#20859354
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56346) - you deserved it (3304)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:48pm - health - by scammed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

#20991671
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41604) - you deserved it (3304)

On 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by thank u usa (man) - Germany

Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML

#6668848
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22459) - you deserved it (3303)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

#7103723
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20990) - you deserved it (3303)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by xxxzzzooo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked: "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML

#10918883
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29087) - you deserved it (3303)

On 06/02/2010 at 11:05am - misc - by Kagura - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, my mom still hasn't gotten over the novelty of our brand new microwave. We've been eating hot pockets for nearly a week now. FML

#17281268
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27129) - you deserved it (3303)

On 07/27/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by ladytyy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML

#20770379
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47345) - you deserved it (3303)

On 07/08/2013 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML

#20922948
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40023) - you deserved it (3303)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by Awahso - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend gave me an early wedding present. I opened the box and inside was the most adorable cat I've ever seen! It got scared, jumped out, clawed my face and pissed everywhere. My wedding is tomorrow and I look like Frankenstein's bride. FML

#6366534
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35128) - you deserved it (3302)

On 11/19/2009 at 8:36am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

#8540042
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22686) - you deserved it (3302)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:17am - love - by shwasted (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting 'goo', which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

#14630970
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21474) - you deserved it (3302)

On 01/18/2011 at 8:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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