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Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my girlfriend. I told her that I loved her. She asked me how much wind-shield wiper blades cost. FML

#7296803
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15015) - you deserved it (2483)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Upbrakie - United States

Today, I was supposed to have a double date. My date didn't show. I spent my day in the living room waiting for the pizza guy while my best friend and her boyfriend made out. The pizza guy never showed either. FML

#17036855
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30484) - you deserved it (2483)

On 07/09/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by supergingerr11 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML

#18422045
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21202) - you deserved it (2483)

On 12/03/2011 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by sugarbeet - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML

#20477009
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24950) - you deserved it (2483)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the highlight of my day was when I found that there was finally toilet paper in the cubicle at work. FML

#20563464
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24139) - you deserved it (2483)

On 03/28/2013 at 5:57am - work - by Paperboy (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, I grabbed a handful of crackers from the kitchen, only to find it crawling with bugs. Apparently, my brother had made the same discovery earlier, but put the box of crackers back in the cupboard anyway. FML

#13129116
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23231) - you deserved it (2482)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:26pm - animals - by thanksbro - United States (Michigan)

Today, I ran into my ex's family, and found out they are going to Europe. Funnily enough, so am I. Even funnier is the fact that we are going on the same date, at the same time, on the same flights, and the tour starts on the same day in the same place. FML

#7810675
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28653) - you deserved it (2482)

On 02/02/2010 at 9:08am - misc - by jacques (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

#12697631
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22196) - you deserved it (2482)

On 08/23/2010 at 5:03am - health - by concusion - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

#14396481
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36126) - you deserved it (2482)

On 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML

#17566014
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26778) - you deserved it (2482)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:03am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30448) - you deserved it (2482)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37919) - you deserved it (2482)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML

#216994
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46561) - you deserved it (2481)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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