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Today, I got a call from the office telling me I was fired. When I asked why, my boss explained my mother called and told him I was in a "weak mental state." She thought she was helping me get off for my birthday. Now I have no job. FML

#15350541
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35812) - you deserved it (3036)

On 03/17/2011 at 10:43am - work - by jezebel (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML

#19702811
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27168) - you deserved it (3036)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:25am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML

#6983877
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33734) - you deserved it (3035)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

#8434762
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20192) - you deserved it (3035)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by Brett meek - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

#13525218
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25493) - you deserved it (3035)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:08pm - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got back from a two week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my room mate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML

#12649118
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38329) - you deserved it (3035)

On 08/20/2010 at 6:03pm - animals - by therealducktape - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking through an old photo album of mine. I turned to a page with a picture of me on my last day of college. I thought the picture was quite nice. He turned to me and said, "Don't worry, I take bad pictures too." FML

#12234488
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24234) - you deserved it (3035)

On 07/31/2010 at 10:28pm - love - by XxHinkaixX (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was in class when someone came in with a rose for me. My teacher made me read the card aloud: "I'm breaking up with you, happy Valentine's." It was from my boyfriend. FML

#14973711
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43097) - you deserved it (3035)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:14pm - love - by sexyredhead - United States

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

#20166313
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25159) - you deserved it (3035)

On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

#20560852
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48757) - you deserved it (3035)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I found out about my co-workers' new game. Whoever talks to me first loses. FML

Today, I was playing my bass clarinet around the house. I asked my dad if he would be at my concert on December 16th. His response was, "No, I'm working that day." My dad is a plumber, and gets called to work completely at random; he has no schedule. FML

#13693546
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22852) - you deserved it (3034)

On 11/02/2010 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I moved into my aunt's house. She had a little too much fun in the sixties and now tells everyone about her many imagined conquests, including her church minister and several has-been celebrities. As a plus, I discovered she has a habit of wandering around the house in the nude. FML

#8920023
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19535) - you deserved it (3034)

On 03/08/2010 at 2:31pm - misc - by Kristopher (man) - United States (Florida)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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