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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after being married for 20 years, I found out that my wife has accounts on multiple dating sites, "just in case." FML

#21007851
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40125) - you deserved it (3177)

On 12/28/2013 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45507) - you deserved it (3177)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, while taking a shower in the dorm bathroom, my roommate thought it would be funny to steal my towel, robe, and key. I spent over an hour waiting for someone to come into the bathroom so I could ask them to bring me something to cover up. FML

#5387422
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33380) - you deserved it (3176)

On 09/21/2009 at 1:31am - misc - by issy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I started my new job as a teacher. Worried about how I looked, I asked a coworker if I looked okay. She said, "You look fine. Just like a normal high school kid." I spent the next half hour convincing her that I was not a student, but a teacher. FML

#17569578
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24806) - you deserved it (3176)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Meagan smith - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML

#19769675
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25908) - you deserved it (3176)

On 06/11/2012 at 8:01am - love - by ugly (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

#20554170
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47551) - you deserved it (3176)

On 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm - love - by SmallAngel (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

#20872880
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49607) - you deserved it (3176)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML

#21297662
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42684) - you deserved it (3176)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland)

Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML

#13005012
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29170) - you deserved it (3175)

On 09/11/2010 at 2:59pm - misc - by wantontsu -

Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML

#18577154
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30748) - you deserved it (3175)

On 12/22/2011 at 3:09am - love - by Jean - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

#21274403
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29635) - you deserved it (3175)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

#449
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23250) - you deserved it (3174)

On 12/04/2008 at 6:16am - misc - by DarkPhoenix - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML

#12964017
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60703) - you deserved it (3174)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:23pm - animals - by jrad - United States (Georgia)



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