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Today, my mom, sister, and I were talking about a friend's girlfriend. My sister's opinion of her was that she was cute but not hot. My mom agreed, saying that she didn't think that someone without boobs could EVER be hot. She then looked at me and said "no offense." FML

#3341978
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44928) - you deserved it (3263)

On 06/29/2009 at 7:07pm - misc - by Atomic_Tangerine (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

#5187639
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53782) - you deserved it (3263)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was dumped by the guy who serenaded me with his guitar and admitted he had feelings for me. Why? Because the girl who had continuously been rejecting him for so long finally decided to give him a chance. FML

#14427876
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28628) - you deserved it (3263)

On 01/01/2011 at 6:50pm - love - by drfrogpepper (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML

#16697911
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30334) - you deserved it (3263)

On 06/16/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by vampire (woman) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML

#21388113
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30722) - you deserved it (3263)

On 04/05/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Itsbeen8years (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana. FML

#3935872
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58124) - you deserved it (3262)

On 07/21/2009 at 6:17pm - kids - by GabsAlot829 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after work, I parked in the parking lot I go to every day to let heavy traffic go by. As I was about to leave, two cops suddenly yanked me out of the car and arrested me for "stocking," as they spelled it on the report. Some paranoid girl thought I was parking there every day to watch her. FML

Today, I asked my wife for her computer password because my computer crashed. After minutes of begging she finally told me. Turns out that her password happens to be her ex's name. FML

#14227030
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28603) - you deserved it (3262)

On 12/16/2010 at 7:20pm - love - by expassword (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML

#17039633
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31512) - you deserved it (3262)

On 07/09/2011 at 10:34am - animals - by iGreen - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

#20679293
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43382) - you deserved it (3262)

On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

Today, I had to catch a coach to London at 4 in the morning. I was late so I had to take any free seat, so sat down next to a seemingly sweet old man. Within ten minutes, the sweet old man was trying to kiss me and trying to pull me on top of him. Nobody said anything. The journey was 4 hours long. FML

#5017525
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42504) - you deserved it (3261)

On 09/03/2009 at 8:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML

#12332951
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35816) - you deserved it (3261)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by Tired (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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