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Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

#20146654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25311) - you deserved it (2969)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30262) - you deserved it (2969)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband managed to set fire to half of our garden setting up mosquito repellents. FML

#20802186
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36318) - you deserved it (2969)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:10am - misc - by how (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad threw up on my dress. My wedding dress. While he was walking me down the aisle. FML

#5431365
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59242) - you deserved it (2968)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:38pm - misc - by poorgirl (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

#8124338
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42704) - you deserved it (2968)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML

#8948216
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34663) - you deserved it (2968)

On 03/09/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Teeny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML

#14604912
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22263) - you deserved it (2968)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:37pm - misc - by thisisme (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML

#18067160
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22119) - you deserved it (2968)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by anonymous - United States

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

#18429716
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43720) - you deserved it (2968)

On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19131) - you deserved it (2968)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, at my first day on the job, a customer threatened my life because our vending machine had run out of Doritos. FML

#20880018
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39524) - you deserved it (2968)

On 09/13/2013 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonynommer (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML

#21083808
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35876) - you deserved it (2968)

On 03/11/2014 at 3:21am - misc - by why me? (man) - United States (California)

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML

#577
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23808) - you deserved it (2967)

On 12/23/2008 at 1:47am - misc - by zazadudu - Sent from mobile version



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