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Today, my mom convinced me that she and my dad were getting divorced. I have anxiety problems, so I had a panic attack. She then laughed, and said, "Just kidding, I wanted to see your reaction. It's the best so far." FML

#18622971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35073) - you deserved it (3688)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:42am - health - by somewhatlucky - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML

#20699851
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51191) - you deserved it (3688)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm - misc - by H1dd3n (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

#645
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23705) - you deserved it (3687)

On 12/31/2008 at 9:53pm - misc - by blck - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML

#21388113
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33308) - you deserved it (3687)

On 04/05/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Itsbeen8years (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, I was potty training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML

#7642082
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31160) - you deserved it (3687)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:55pm - kids - by jmitch1209 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad and his girlfriend left for a 10-day vacation. They booked an expensive beach-house. I'm an A grade student and just last month, he stopped paying my school fees because he 'couldn't afford it.' Oh, and he's making me feed the dog while he's away. FML

#12959581
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33315) - you deserved it (3687)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:35am - money - by schoolkiddo (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at the mall and I saw a kid crying. I asked her "What's wrong sweetie, are you lost?" She ran away screaming "Help me!" I ended up having to explain to a dumb mall cop that I'm not a perv. FML

#15281429
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31494) - you deserved it (3687)

On 03/12/2011 at 2:18am - misc - by soul0eater (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

#18067303
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48403) - you deserved it (3687)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML

#18783134
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42096) - you deserved it (3687)

On 01/12/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - Sweden

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

#20517914
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32387) - you deserved it (3687)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I hired an exterminator to get the roaches out of the house I am renting. I came back from work and went to my bathroom, noticing that he used the plunger to unclog the toilet after he took a dump. After $150, there was shit all over my floor and plunger, and roaches still in my kitchen. FML

#2303239
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58725) - you deserved it (3686)

On 05/26/2009 at 5:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years old and pop like an arthritic 50 year old. FML

#6381623
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29809) - you deserved it (3686)

On 11/20/2009 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend of almost a year, and to whom I intended to propose on Thanksgiving, dumped me because her husband will be returning from Iraq soon. And he wants to have a "talk" with me. I didn't know she was married. FML

#6442976
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41923) - you deserved it (3686)

On 11/25/2009 at 8:56am - love - by blasted (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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