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Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

#17779668
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40252) - you deserved it (3495)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a long conversation with my fiancé about how smoking menthol cigarettes is not a substitute for brushing your teeth. He still isn't convinced. FML

#19202074
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25671) - you deserved it (3495)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went for a job interview. Before giving me a tour, the manager pointed to my purse and said, "Better leave that in my office." I didn't know why it was safer in her office than on my shoulder, but I complied. Later, I went to buy coffee and discovered that all my cash was missing. FML

#20086342
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22542) - you deserved it (3495)

On 09/24/2012 at 6:48am - work - by NoMoney4Me (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22757) - you deserved it (3495)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML

#20761131
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54079) - you deserved it (3495)

On 07/03/2013 at 2:48am - work - by grammarnazi-forareason (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, for an eight hour flight to Copenhagen, Denmark, I paid extra to get a seat offering more leg room. Unfortunately, the man behind me was so tall, his knees were pressing against my back the entire flight. FML

#14600562
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23295) - you deserved it (3494)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:17pm - money - by jetlagged (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

#17140315
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29900) - you deserved it (3494)

On 07/16/2011 at 8:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML

#21072669
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38533) - you deserved it (3494)

On 02/26/2014 at 10:28pm - work - by Lori_ftw - United States (California)

Today, a coworker jokingly noted that my signature looks like "Pedo". I couldn't see it that way, so I asked some other people for their opinion. They confessed they'd always thought it looked like "Pedo", but never said anything. My name is Peele. I've been signing it off as Pedo for 10 years. FML

#21381199
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27841) - you deserved it (3494)

On 03/25/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by peele - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, my boss requested that I re-organize every file in the office, because she wanted the filing cabinets alphabetized right to left, not left to right. To thank me, she came into my office to give me one uncooked ear of corn. I think my boss has mistaken me for some kind of farm animal. FML

#3613617
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48891) - you deserved it (3493)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:17pm - work - by ST3PH (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called my boyfriend's job to ask him a question. His co-worker answered the phone, and when I asked for my boyfriend, he assumed I was someone else. Who exactly would that someone else be? FML

#14238369
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24440) - you deserved it (3493)

On 12/17/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML

#13125278
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31669) - you deserved it (3493)

On 09/20/2010 at 5:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43504) - you deserved it (3493)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)



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