Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he thought he heard another guy in the room when he called me, and that I'm cheating on him. The guy he heard was a character from a cartoon my sister was watching. FML

#20958917
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40188) - you deserved it (3093)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that because of my new medication, I can either avoid getting malaria, or have a male yeast infection. I'm stuck in Africa for the next two months, and have to sit down to pee because I don't want to irritate my penis by touching it. FML

#4421070
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40670) - you deserved it (3092)

On 08/10/2009 at 2:27am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Ghana (Volta)

Today, my father sent me a letter in the mail. He spelled my first name wrong on the front of the envelope. I'm turning 28 years old and my own father doesn't know that my name has two "t"s in it. FML

Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts "GO F YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML

#13622060
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27229) - you deserved it (3092)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was told that I may die by the time I'm 30, and that I should Google the disorder because he doesn't know what it is for sure. FML

#16909207
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39377) - you deserved it (3092)

On 06/29/2011 at 12:44pm - health - by Googleit - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss called me into his office. Expecting a long overdue promotion, I hurried in. Instead, he told me he thought I would be perfect to take his son on a pity date, because he is at a suicide risk from depression. FML

#16338194
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32708) - you deserved it (3092)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:21am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

#17775098
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22232) - you deserved it (3092)

On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML

#19350917
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21006) - you deserved it (3092)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:15pm - misc - by Shantwozzlah (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

#19434352
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33680) - you deserved it (3092)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:15am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. According to his Facebook, he had a new girlfriend 16 seconds later. FML

#12682648
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33352) - you deserved it (3091)

On 08/22/2010 at 1:02pm - love - by mollyeyers - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, it was my co-worker's birthday but she told me not to mention it. Feeling bad for her, I went out to buy her a card, a present, and even a small cake. It turns out that there was actually a party during our lunch break, and I was the only one in our office not invited. FML

#10983443
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34972) - you deserved it (3091)

On 06/05/2010 at 6:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

#18368506
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22208) - you deserved it (3090)

On 11/27/2011 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I woke up right as the dentist pulled my last tooth. FML

#20708877
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49038) - you deserved it (3090)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Applejacks18 (man) - United States (Montana)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: