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Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML

#15289353
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26314) - you deserved it (3001)

On 03/13/2011 at 12:52am - misc - by Rawrssa (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26411) - you deserved it (3001)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

#20746764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35324) - you deserved it (3001)

On 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm - misc - by mymomplucksbutthair (woman) - United States

Today, my relatives won't acknowledge my existence unless I'm posting a picture of my cat. They only talk about the cat. FML

#20946616
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33756) - you deserved it (3001)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Steiner (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was refereeing a soccer match and I called a foul. An angry coach kept screaming at me, saying "You're crazy!" I asked him to leave the field. As he left, he lifted his middle finger and screamed, "FUCK YOU!" I ref 5-year-olds. FML

#20937864
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43843) - you deserved it (3001)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

#21242612
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32586) - you deserved it (3001)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by ReluctantAntEater (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

#3462
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23942) - you deserved it (3000)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by Coley - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while working at Starbucks, a customer spilled her drink all over the counter. After I cleaned up her spill and remade the drink (for free), she exclaimed "Thanks! I should really tip you!" Then she turned around, walked directly past the tip jar, and left the store. FML

#4511734
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42914) - you deserved it (3001)

On 08/13/2009 at 9:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally found out who has been sending me hate letters, it's my husband's ex-wife. They've been divorced for 7 years. FML

#16778449
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30044) - you deserved it (3000)

On 06/21/2011 at 8:25am - love - by nasty_ex - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34400) - you deserved it (3000)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

#8637899
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25477) - you deserved it (2999)

On 02/25/2010 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said "excuse me". The lady then maced me through the open window. FML

#20494408
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25955) - you deserved it (2999)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 8 months dumped me over the phone in between telling the Subway employees what he wanted on his sandwich. FML

#5230758
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44867) - you deserved it (2998)

On 09/13/2009 at 3:18pm - love - by misc (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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