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Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

by tired individual / 01/12/2014 at 6:04am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a flat tire on the highway. If that wasn't bad enough I had no spare in the car. By the time I got a ride to get a new tire, someone was nice enough to fix my air conditioning for me. They smashed out my window to break in. The doors were not locked. FML

by Gearhead369 / 10/03/2010 at 12:39am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while working as a cashier at McDonald's, a man came in telling me that he had not received his hamburger. I looked at his receipt and the date said 11/17/09. FML

by crudofalife / 07/04/2011 at 5:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. What was it over? He accused me of pronouncing MY name wrong. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2011 at 1:41am / United States / Love

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

by pissed out pants / 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I confessed to my co-worker that I've secretly loved him for months. He laughed hysterically for about a minute straight before shaking his head and excusing himself from the store. Even the fact that my boss fired him for leaving early isn't cheering me up. FML

by Alanis / 07/20/2012 at 9:59pm / United States / Love

Today, my dad decided to clean his muddy shoes right beside me by clapping them together, causing mud to fly all over me. This wouldn't have been a problem had I not been wearing my white wedding dress just before getting married. FML

by >.> / 12/12/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad was doing FaceTime with a friend. He turned his iPhone towards my sister and said "There's my daughter..." He then turned it to me and said "...and there's my ugly son", then walked away. I'm still not sure if it's a joke or not. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2014 at 8:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Geek

Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

by MoRuined / 10/09/2014 at 6:27am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Love

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML

by sandra / 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, we had to have our vet put our horse down. Afterwards we were discussing burial options. We then find the cat with a broken neck. Had to have her put down also. Now we have animal services questioning us for animal abuse. FML

by farmwithnobarn / 05/30/2009 at 1:48am / United States (Florida) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

by Ned / 08/29/2009 at 7:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason she asked me to shave my beard. When I go down on her shaved, it feels more like her ex-boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 4:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy