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Today, my family and I went on a picnic in the park 45 minutes drive away from our house. I fell asleep beneath a tree. They left me there. FML

#5645796
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37702) - you deserved it (3355)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by walker (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the engineers I work with believe that a woman with an engineering degree working in an engineering company is apparently equivalent to a "secretary for engineers." I am that woman. FML

#17734062
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29665) - you deserved it (3355)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:53am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21187) - you deserved it (3355)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I put a picture on Facebook of me without makeup. A "friend" commented: "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied: "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML

#21312632
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30512) - you deserved it (3355)

On 12/06/2014 at 3:22pm - misc - by fistycunt4 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

#21279967
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29243) - you deserved it (3355)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm - health - by catt - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my whole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML

#17634077
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20448) - you deserved it (3354)

On 09/01/2011 at 5:55am - misc - by Chris75 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

#18772081
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28583) - you deserved it (3354)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:23am - misc - by RatFailure (woman) - United States

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

#20157085
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22344) - you deserved it (3354)

On 11/10/2012 at 1:51am - animals - by Sam l. - United States

Today, my boss told our production department that we're not allowed to be happy. FML

#21129081
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39842) - you deserved it (3354)

On 05/02/2014 at 8:03pm - work - by i guess (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to splurge and get valet parking at a fancy restaurant. I got out of the car and gave the man my keys and watched as he slowly backed my car into another car. FML

#21319039
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33896) - you deserved it (3354)

On 12/17/2014 at 8:33am - misc - by seriously - United States (Illinois)

Today, after wondering why I've never met my father, I asked my mom if I was the product of a one night stand. She replied with, "Well, technically he didn't spend the night." FML

#13927499
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30188) - you deserved it (3353)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

#20009332
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31223) - you deserved it (3353)

On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States

Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

#20162862
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34141) - you deserved it (3353)

On 11/14/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by nolove - Australia



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