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Today, my colleague and I played yet another wonderful game of 'Tapeworm or Toilet Paper?' in the homeless shelter's toilets we were asked to clean. FML

#21270023
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29293) - you deserved it (3361)

On 10/03/2014 at 7:29am - work - by whydoidothis (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, it was my birthday, and my boyfriend got surgery on his gallbladder because he had big gallstones. After they were removed, he was still a little out of it from the morphine. He gave the gallstones to me for my birthday. Better still, his mom suggested I make a necklace out of them. FML

#3603411
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48621) - you deserved it (3360)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:02am - love - by gallstones (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy. After picking me up, he started to play on repeat, and sing to me, 'Happy Together' by The Turtles. For the entire 20 minute ride. FML

#8195721
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21872) - you deserved it (3360)

On 02/13/2010 at 3:49am - love - by girlie5445 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, during a class, I noticed some racist statements and symbols on a table. While erasing them, I bent down to pick up my dropped pencil. I look back up to see a teacher, and got a suspension. FML

#15162285
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33210) - you deserved it (3360)

On 03/01/2011 at 11:47am - misc - by assumed -

Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML

#16078669
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25226) - you deserved it (3360)

On 05/07/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by K. - United States (Florida)

Today, I had an appointment with a psychotherapist. I was feeling very depressed and was telling her how I felt no one cared about me. Her phone rang and she left me mid-sentence to take a call about her new BMW. FML

#6145491
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31052) - you deserved it (3359)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:10am - health - by troubled (man) - United States (California)

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
184 comments

Today, I apologized to my boyfriend for thinking he was cheating on me right before another girl posted pictures of them together on her myspace. FML

#8882975
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26281) - you deserved it (3359)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:21am - love - by me - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that my stalker ex-girlfriend named her new born son after me. FML

#17794900
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37071) - you deserved it (3359)

On 09/21/2011 at 10:44am - love - by cjy152 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26333) - you deserved it (3359)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML

#19828515
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23840) - you deserved it (3359)

On 06/22/2012 at 10:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

#20872880
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51743) - you deserved it (3359)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

#21000124
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41681) - you deserved it (3359)

On 12/21/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by FML (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)



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