Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML

Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML

#20944947
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43912) - you deserved it (3131)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:08am - work - by twitterfailsme (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my parents asked if they could borrow my car. Why? Because they were going to see someone about a Craig's List ad and wanted to look poor. FML

#5657528
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33471) - you deserved it (3130)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:38am - money - by poorcar (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I've been unemployed for a year. For the last six months I had been trying for a good paying job at a great company, who kept saying they would hire me when the economy improves. Three weeks ago I gave up and moved 2 hours away. Guess who just called to finally offer me a job. FML

Today, my boyfriend was seated in my section at work. As he sees me his face drops... he's on a date. He had forgotten I work there. I had to serve him and his date, and they didn't leave a tip. FML

#13621862
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45085) - you deserved it (3130)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:27am - love - by heshay - United States (Texas)

Today, I opened my new clothing store. My only customer was my mom and the only reason she came in was to tell me that someone stole my sign. FML

#16307240
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34480) - you deserved it (3130)

On 05/23/2011 at 12:26am - work - by 11lyss1 -

Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML

#16560118
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35353) - you deserved it (3130)

On 06/08/2011 at 9:03am - work - by iloveyoutoomom (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I held the door for an elderly woman. As she walked through, she looked at me and told me I was a very handsome man and that I should meet her grandson. The woman was my grandmother, and yes, I'm straight. FML

#20978372
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42123) - you deserved it (3130)

On 12/02/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by rick - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months started a bitter fight with me. The cause was me repeatedly refusing to dye my hair the way his beloved ex did. FML

#17937803
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30944) - you deserved it (3129)

On 10/08/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33010) - you deserved it (3129)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML

#19817734
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25211) - you deserved it (3129)

On 06/20/2012 at 8:46am - work - by notanidiot - United States (Michigan)

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39363) - you deserved it (3129)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML

#2906688
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45220) - you deserved it (3128)

On 06/15/2009 at 6:07am - animals - by Tom (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: