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Today, my sculpture, which is very important for my art grade, fell from my desk and broke to pieces. My art teacher suggested I soak the parts in water to make it easier to stick them back together. They dissolved. FML

#19131419
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26056) - you deserved it (2985)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26578) - you deserved it (2985)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

#20512577
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37586) - you deserved it (2985)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44285) - you deserved it (2985)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had a minor outpatient procedure that required sedation. I am not supposed to drive or even be alone for 24 hours. My husband wouldn't take the day off to go with me, and instead of coming home from work, he is at the bar with his coworkers. FML

#6278977
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29332) - you deserved it (2984)

On 11/12/2009 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my grandfather's burial. As the family was about to leave, a great aunt came up to my skinny, tall and pretty cousin and told her, "Stay beautiful and kind." Then, she walked to me and said, "And you, Stay kind." FML

#5942198
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31294) - you deserved it (2984)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:26am - misc - by kthx (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my apartment building shut off our water for a short period of time because the pipes were being worked on. It was also the morning my dog had diarrhea on my cream carpet. Not only did I have to clean it up without water, I couldn't wash my hands afterward. FML

#13801774
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26902) - you deserved it (2984)

On 11/11/2010 at 1:02pm - animals - by jordanss - United States (Texas)

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

#14398309
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (2984)

On 12/30/2010 at 5:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I got a call from the office telling me I was fired. When I asked why, my boss explained my mother called and told him I was in a "weak mental state." She thought she was helping me get off for my birthday. Now I have no job. FML

#15350541
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35176) - you deserved it (2984)

On 03/17/2011 at 10:43am - work - by jezebel (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

#17266001
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36703) - you deserved it (2984)

On 07/26/2011 at 9:35am - misc - by ceetee - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

#18545148
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21078) - you deserved it (2984)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:31pm - animals - by dogh8er (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my wife purposely eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML

#18898417
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34598) - you deserved it (2985)

On 01/24/2012 at 12:31pm - love - by Allergic (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML

#21004875
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37852) - you deserved it (2984)

On 12/25/2013 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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