Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I overheard my mother telling a friend she got me oven mitts for Christmas. I got her two cruise tickets. I hate to cook. Which she knows. FML

#14066862
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22617) - you deserved it (2502)

On 12/03/2010 at 12:18am - misc - by nokitchenforme - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML

#13962555
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30732) - you deserved it (2502)

On 11/24/2010 at 2:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML

#16097494
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23151) - you deserved it (2502)

On 05/08/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by jackpot - Venezuela

Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

#20474780
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30253) - you deserved it (2502)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm - misc - by mariama (woman) - United States

Today, I left for college. I spent hundreds of dollars on clothes, bedding and other things. After packing my entire closet and everything else I needed, I left only to have to head back home. My dad forgot to pay the first semesters tuition. He said "Oh well, you would have failed out anyway." FML

#4891405
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44697) - you deserved it (2501)

On 08/28/2009 at 8:59pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at a family gathering, my aunt asked me when I was planning to have children. I'm only 16, I laughed and said not for a while, definitely not until I get married. My family shook their heads, and ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently, teenage pregnancy is valued in my family. FML

#4555505
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53992) - you deserved it (2501)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML

#12655431
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25937) - you deserved it (2501)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:05am - love - by justmylife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML

#19637650
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24171) - you deserved it (2501)

On 05/17/2012 at 5:07pm - love - by colts609380 - United States (California)

Today, working in a department store, I spent at least 30 minutes helping a verbally abusive elderly woman in a wheelchair find an appropriate jacket for winter. She finally asked me to retrieve one she wanted in her size. When I returned she was in deep sleep, snoring and all. FML

#20963001
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33355) - you deserved it (2501)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:51am - work - by Not impressed. - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend came to my workplace and presented me with a lock of his hair. His pubic hair that he'd just cut. FML

#8507226
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18704) - you deserved it (2500)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:32am - intimacy - by emih (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sent a text to a guy I'd met over the weekend. He'd traveled 40 miles to my town for the date, so I picked up the tab for dinner. My text simply said, "Had a nice time. Looking forward to getting together again." His reply was, "When did you get so needy?" FML

#13898275
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21026) - you deserved it (2500)

On 11/19/2010 at 10:00am - love - by needfulthing - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. While he was dumping me, he was holding hands with his new girlfriend. FML

#18011965
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35809) - you deserved it (2500)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my sister announced that she had gotten engaged. I was happy for her until I found out she's marrying the guy who relentlessly bullied me all through high school. FML

#17300060
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35085) - you deserved it (2500)

On 07/29/2011 at 5:35pm - misc - by Username - Netherlands (Flevoland)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: