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Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML

#19967634
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21491) - you deserved it (3198)

On 07/21/2012 at 11:08am - love - by marquez_jasmine - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

#20872688
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41724) - you deserved it (3198)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:07am - love - by laundry day again... - United States

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

#20940427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48037) - you deserved it (3198)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, someone told me they liked my personality when i'm drunk. I asked, "what about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML

#2422
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18087) - you deserved it (3197)

On 01/24/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by the-yao - United States (California)

Today, I was riding my bike to the local grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner. On the way down, traveling down a hill, I hit a drain with no lid. I went to grab hold of the nearest object to soften my fall. That nearest object was a barbed wire fence. FML

#4324727
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45965) - you deserved it (3197)

On 08/06/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Lawrence (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was rejected for an internship due to 'lack of experience.' I have both an MA and a BA from a highly prestigious school and years of work experience. My would-be superior: a 24 year old without a graduate degree and only one year of work experience. She wore jeans to the interview. FML

#7137648
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28922) - you deserved it (3197)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:29am - work - by screwed (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I moved to Florida because I have poor circulation and need to be in a warm environment. The first day at my new job, I discovered my co-worker is an overweight man who wears a wool suit every day, and insists on keeping the office chilled to 65 degrees. I can't feel my fingers or toes. FML

#15919542
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (3197)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:02pm - work - by lpspann87 - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was just wearing socks. FML

#16693416
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32885) - you deserved it (3197)

On 06/16/2011 at 10:24am - misc - by RedheadA (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36273) - you deserved it (3197)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work, a crazy customer forced me to promise to take a holiday greeting picture of my cat and myself for her. She says she'll be back and expects one. FML

#21300741
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28175) - you deserved it (3197)

On 11/17/2014 at 1:48pm - animals - by not crazy enough (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML

#18070361
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37219) - you deserved it (3196)

On 10/25/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by myownperson - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

#19123444
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20583) - you deserved it (3196)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:39pm - animals - by good_gravy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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