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Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend asked me out was because the fortune ball app on his iPod told him to. FML

#8364969
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22909) - you deserved it (3038)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:38am - love - by amireallyloved - United States (California)

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

#13459944
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21159) - you deserved it (3038)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

#20613283
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47153) - you deserved it (3038)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#20887080
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48112) - you deserved it (3038)

On 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm - love - by ElizaZee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

#20993322
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35065) - you deserved it (3038)

On 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by ANONYMOUS -_- (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after watching the news, I realized the only person who has ever wished that I had a good day, or wished that I had anything pleasant for that matter, is Charlie Gibson on World News Tonight. FML

#5832745
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19624) - you deserved it (3037)

On 10/14/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by newscomes (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to take a nap before a big job interview at 6. I set two alarm clocks to make sure I didn't miss it, but I woke up at 5:59. As I'm scrambling in a panic to get out the door, my mom says calmly, "I took your alarm clocks out of your room because you looked really tired today." FML

#10841820
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37536) - you deserved it (3037)

On 05/29/2010 at 1:39pm - misc - by thanksmum (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me with a message that I had to pay $1 to see. FML

#18856263
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26733) - you deserved it (3037)

On 01/19/2012 at 8:46pm - love - by Alejandroc - Honduras (Cortes)

Today, while coming back from skiing, a woman asked me if I could help her carry her stroller. I put my skis down and helped her. When I came back to pick my skis up, I saw two guys running away with my gear. You try chasing someone while wearing ski boots. FML

Today, a co-worker passed me a note with information about one of our cute, new co-workers I was interested in. Her report? Simple: "Lesbian. Try again. They're EVERYWHERE!" FML

#18895505
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18971) - you deserved it (3037)

On 01/23/2012 at 11:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML

#6436745
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38821) - you deserved it (3036)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by bmonehh (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss asked me to take some of the female mannequins and change the outfits. As I was changing them, I realized that this was the most action I've gotten in almost a year. Not only am I twenty-seven, but I'm married. FML

#5346939
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (3035)

On 09/19/2009 at 4:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got back from a two week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my room mate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML

#12649118
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38305) - you deserved it (3035)

On 08/20/2010 at 6:03pm - animals - by therealducktape - Sent from mobile version



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