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Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

#20912578
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60614) - you deserved it (3523)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm - misc - by mathgenius - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML

#21277907
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32230) - you deserved it (3523)

On 10/14/2014 at 8:13pm - misc - by ForeverAlone - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML

#1296374
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64226) - you deserved it (3522)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:23pm - health - by whatthehell (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I missed my flight. Why? My niece thought it would be funny to empty out my suitcase and hide inside. FML

#4226931
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51455) - you deserved it (3522)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Inch'on-jikhalsi)

Today, at the end of my shift with a long line of customers, the older woman I was checking out calmly said, "You should take a minute to fix your hair dear, we have all been talking about it while we waited." FML

#17818290
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26608) - you deserved it (3522)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:21am - work - by Cashier (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

#21384025
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39502) - you deserved it (3522)

On 03/30/2015 at 6:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my co-worker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she goes to the manager and accuses me of sexual harassment. Everyone applauded. FML

#4252851
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49849) - you deserved it (3521)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my roommate revealed that the reason he's so grumpy is because he hasn't gotten laid in a year. I'm his only female friend, and the entire time he talked to me, he stared at my chest. FML

#5923040
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22532) - you deserved it (3521)

On 10/20/2009 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

#7158529
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22134) - you deserved it (3521)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he'd head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML

#14666590
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26560) - you deserved it (3521)

On 01/21/2011 at 9:18pm - misc - by marriageblows - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52831) - you deserved it (3521)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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