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Today, while flying on American Airlines back from visiting family, a new born puked its breakfast all over my HP mini, knocked my orange juice ino my lap, and than coughed up another layer on top of it all. I couldn't change my pants because of we were about to experience turbulance. FML

#6527445
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32953) - you deserved it (2507)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:34am - kids - by coloradoman (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my roommate let me know he "bumped" another car with mine. What he really meant was that I need a new rear quarter panel and the very angry BMW driver he hit has all of my information. FML

#13061135
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16883) - you deserved it (2506)

On 09/15/2010 at 12:52pm - misc - by Ah piss - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML

#19456455
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28120) - you deserved it (2506)

On 04/12/2012 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Munkeh (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML

#20402014
133 comments

Today, a guy came into the small coffee shop I work at, and got angry because I wouldn't accept his Starbucks gift card as valid payment. When I told him we clearly aren't a Starbucks, he said "It's all the same shit" and ended up throwing a punch at me. FML

#20999349
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39903) - you deserved it (2506)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:48pm - work - by the customer is always a cunt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML

#9653
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36575) - you deserved it (2504)

On 02/05/2009 at 10:14am - love - by lonely (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mother dragged me into Victoria's Secret to get my opinion on some lingerie. Lingerie she'll be using to get into my dad's pants this evening. FML

#14731317
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25834) - you deserved it (2504)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML

#19615713
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25320) - you deserved it (2504)

On 05/13/2012 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50684) - you deserved it (2504)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML

#4343153
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57985) - you deserved it (2503)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:41pm - work - by smiletellsall (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to X-ray an 81 year old lady. The clothes she was wearing would show up on the X-ray so I had to make her change into a gown. I found out the hard way that 81 year olds still go commando. FML

#8369327
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20205) - you deserved it (2503)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:50am - work - by ugamayne - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me by finding orange panties in my closet. His excuse was "they're a Christmas gift." Thanks honey, I get panties that won't fit, and have little brown streaks. FML

#14022422
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31891) - you deserved it (2503)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, a coworker introduced herself to me and told me she hopes I enjoy my new job. We've worked in the same building for two years. I say hello every time I see her. FML

#15869233
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26763) - you deserved it (2503)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:27am - work - by Forgetable (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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