Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML

#21133376
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42889) - you deserved it (3150)

On 05/07/2014 at 4:57pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - India (Jammu and Kashmir)

Today, we got our family pictures back from the printers. I complained to my mom about the ones she picked. "Oh don't worry," she said. "I had them photoshop out your gut." I was talking about my smile. FML

#7292547
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20104) - you deserved it (3149)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by Me (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. FML

#7670989
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19405) - you deserved it (3149)

On 01/29/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by anonymas (woman) - Norway (Troms)

Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML

#15822401
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26336) - you deserved it (3151)

On 04/17/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by zoearcu - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

#20554757
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31401) - you deserved it (3149)

On 03/22/2013 at 6:49am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, on his way out of our apartment, my roommate's friend reached over and grabbed a handful of my popcorn. I was only mildly annoyed, until a little later, when I pulled out from between my teeth what could only have been a pubic hair. FML

#20808032
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41760) - you deserved it (3149)

On 07/28/2013 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovenia (Ruse Commune)

Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML

#21252384
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33825) - you deserved it (3149)

On 09/05/2014 at 12:17pm - love - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

#21249060
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34736) - you deserved it (3149)

On 08/31/2014 at 1:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to babysit. I was told the parents would be gone when I arrived. I went and started playing with the kids. All of a sudden I heard a scream. I opened the parents' door with a knife in hand to find them having sex. I got paid so adults could get laid. While I was there. 6 ft. away. FML

#1043962
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58132) - you deserved it (3148)

On 04/17/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, it's the third anniversary of when I started looking for a new job. I'm still working at the job that made me want to get a new one and I haven't even had an interview for another one in almost two years. My Master's degree on the wall is looking more and more like a roll of toilet paper. FML

#8990477
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22064) - you deserved it (3148)

On 03/11/2010 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML

#14221771
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (3148)

On 12/16/2010 at 6:54am - misc - by xxmollyxx (woman) - Sweden

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

#21306286
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38112) - you deserved it (3148)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML

#19828515
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21651) - you deserved it (3148)

On 06/22/2012 at 10:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: