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Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML

#17334083
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27106) - you deserved it (3073)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:29pm - misc - by Emma - United States (New York)

Today, my first date in years cancelled on me because she has to "wash the horse's hair." The date was arranged for 9:30pm. FML

#20857695
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37806) - you deserved it (3073)

On 08/28/2013 at 9:25am - misc - by AtLeastHaveADecientExcuse -

Today, I received a packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML

#24806
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59570) - you deserved it (3072)

On 02/11/2009 at 10:51am - misc - by Distressed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I can't get my heat to turn off. It is currently 87 degrees Fahrenheit in my house, and my heat is running non-stop. It's about 20 degrees outside with over a foot of snow on the ground, so a repairman can't come out to fix it. My electricity bill will be about $1000. FML

#6829701
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29485) - you deserved it (3072)

On 12/19/2009 at 3:10pm - money - by heatproblems (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after being laid off for over a year, I got turned down for an unpaid internship. I can't even get people to let me work for free. FML

#16561616
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29094) - you deserved it (3072)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30275) - you deserved it (3072)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33664) - you deserved it (3072)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

#20690777
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54565) - you deserved it (3072)

On 05/28/2013 at 4:09am - love - by really? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML

#13357466
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27947) - you deserved it (3071)

On 10/07/2010 at 7:37pm - misc - by toyotasmash - United States

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

#10540841
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28563) - you deserved it (3071)

On 05/15/2010 at 2:27am - misc - by sheridan.ashley (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

#20053776
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26117) - you deserved it (3071)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:44am - love - by rotezora (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39678) - you deserved it (3072)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

#20109154
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (3071)

On 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by FarmerGirl - Canada (Quebec)



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