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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

#20692945
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49556) - you deserved it (3718)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was cleaning the bathrooms at work. An older gentlemen came in and needed to use it. He said to me "Oh no, PLEASE stay, just don't look." I don't get paid enough for this. FML

#21065584
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40001) - you deserved it (3718)

On 02/19/2014 at 4:09pm - work - by sarad206 (woman) - United States

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32029) - you deserved it (3718)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my fiance told me that he no longer loves me, that he still has feelings for an ex. The wedding is off and he needs the ring back to give to the right woman. FML

#6280
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75538) - you deserved it (3717)

On 02/03/2009 at 12:08pm - love - by nolongerengaged (woman) - United States

Today, I left for college. I spent hundreds of dollars on clothes, bedding and other things. After packing my entire closet and everything else I needed, I left only to have to head back home. My dad forgot to pay the first semesters tuition. He said "Oh well, you would have failed out anyway." FML

#4891405
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54758) - you deserved it (3717)

On 08/28/2009 at 8:59pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a flat tire on the highway. If that wasn't bad enough I had no spare in the car. By the time I got a ride to get a new tire, someone was nice enough to fix my air conditioning for me. They smashed out my window to break in. The doors were not locked. FML

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend due to the fact that she's been cheating on me with my best friend for the past year. She said I was overreacting, and to grow a pair. FML

#12547151
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41883) - you deserved it (3717)

On 08/15/2010 at 9:40pm - intimacy - by Anthony - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30889) - you deserved it (3717)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me but wanted to make sure that we were still friends, so he could still use my Netflix. FML

#20963690
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47314) - you deserved it (3717)

On 11/19/2013 at 7:19pm - love - by unwantedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, my dad was doing FaceTime with a friend. He turned his iPhone towards my sister and said "There's my daughter..." He then turned it to me and said "...and there's my ugly son", then walked away. I'm still not sure if it's a joke or not. FML

#21227050
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40440) - you deserved it (3717)

On 08/01/2014 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

#17649576
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39561) - you deserved it (3716)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:48am - love - by CHStennis_4 - United States (Utah)

Today, while working at a restaurant, I watched someone throw their car door open and hit the side of my brand new car for the third time this week. I told the woman to be more careful. She told my manager that I was being racist. As I was being yelled at, I watched her hit my car again, smiling. FML

#897353
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87124) - you deserved it (3716)

On 04/10/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl. FML

#4405208
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64485) - you deserved it (3716)

On 08/09/2009 at 9:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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