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Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

#21168803
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47266) - you deserved it (3489)

On 06/09/2014 at 9:56pm - health - by Harry (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24435) - you deserved it (3488)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up, and he came by to get his things while I was at work. When I got home I saw that the only thing he had taken was my cat. I only dated him for 5 months, I've had that cat for 14 years. FML

#14078710
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36179) - you deserved it (3488)

On 12/04/2010 at 12:20am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my landlord came and beat on my door demanding the rent check. I just got home from a trip and my wife was supposed to pay it while I was away. What happened to the money? Black Friday. FML

#18515072
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28640) - you deserved it (3488)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:46pm - money - by kittyslayer (man) - United States

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35849) - you deserved it (3488)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

#21265612
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36639) - you deserved it (3488)

On 09/26/2014 at 2:56am - love - by bri_sci94 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, alone on Valentine's day, I decided to eat chocolate and watch romantic comedies in bed. I had an allergic reaction to the chocolate which sent me to the ER. FML

#21356363
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33137) - you deserved it (3488)

On 02/14/2015 at 11:07pm - misc - by Rubyscooby212 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, the ex-girlfriend I'm still in love with sent me an old picture with the caption, "I miss us." She looked beautiful and happy. Too bad I'm not the guy she's kissing in the picture. FML

#15930581
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41913) - you deserved it (3487)

On 04/26/2011 at 2:18am - love - by SadGuy - United Kingdom

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

#20627067
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64369) - you deserved it (3487)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was dismissed from my job at an unemployment agency. In order to receive financial support from the government I need to be cooperating with a job service provider. They paired me up with the same place I was just fired from. FML

#21101310
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40505) - you deserved it (3487)

On 03/31/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by awks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49401) - you deserved it (3487)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML

#5815085
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32578) - you deserved it (3486)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:52am - love - by dudezilla (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that the blind man I've been helping for months at the grocery store by carrying his shopping around and stuff was actually faking his blindness. FML

#13442719
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27963) - you deserved it (3486)

On 10/14/2010 at 4:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



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