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Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother for Mothering Sunday, so she called me an 'Ungrateful bastard.' And about half an hour ago, I cut my thumb whilst making her lunch. She said, 'You're doing this on purpose so I feel sorry for you. Well I don't.' FML

#15618704
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29727) - you deserved it (2517)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:32am - misc - by Trainspotting - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

#19230527
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34442) - you deserved it (2517)

On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

#19770940
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16865) - you deserved it (2517)

On 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm - work - by bronieswillrule5eva (man) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

#19805199
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16713) - you deserved it (2517)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:57am - love - by crazybitch - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I checked my voicemail. I was really surprised to hear an adorable message from my boyfriend, who was vacationing in Florida. I was even more surprised to hear him having sex with some other girl for the last seven minutes of the message. FML

#3478288
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54120) - you deserved it (2516)

On 07/04/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by hangup (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my mom why she decided to be a parent. She replied, in all seriousness, "Everyone else was doing it." FML

#13321505
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19393) - you deserved it (2516)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:57pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

#19740850
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17999) - you deserved it (2516)

On 06/05/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by whyme27 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML

#19523693
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20054) - you deserved it (2516)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

#20043181
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20709) - you deserved it (2516)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML

#17786304
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26806) - you deserved it (2515)

On 09/20/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by ugly? - United States

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39854) - you deserved it (2515)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I got yelled at by my mom for not being surprised enough at my surprise birthday party. She'd told me about it while drunk the night before. FML

#20870923
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39833) - you deserved it (2515)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by areyoukiddingme - United States

Today, my friend told me that she gave my number to a guy I've liked for a while. I asked why and she just said "He's just going to have to tell you himself." I got hopeful and really nervous. A few hours later he calls. Turns out, he's called to try and get a date with my gay friend. FML

#3491271
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29753) - you deserved it (2514)

On 07/04/2009 at 10:40pm - love - by Single4Life (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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