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Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. Ten minutes after, he called me asking how to change his relationship status on facebook. FML

#16262693
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45037) - you deserved it (3513)

On 05/20/2011 at 1:46am - love - by BALEIGHLOVE17 -

Today, while working at Subway, I was about to take a guy's order. He quickly held up a hand and asked for someone else to make his sub, because he doesn't like "ugly people" touching his food. FML

#20871412
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52589) - you deserved it (3513)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:59pm - work - by /(•'_'•)\ (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my uncle got me a debit card and put $1000 on it for my Christmas present. However, he forgot to activate the card. The receipt with the 14-digit activation code is in the garbage in Colorado. FML

#6945221
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28944) - you deserved it (3512)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:20pm - money - by kraziikayce (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML

#18811640
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39029) - you deserved it (3512)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46573) - you deserved it (3512)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, my dad got me a GPS for my birthday. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't have a permit or a car. FML

#20910835
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41258) - you deserved it (3512)

On 10/07/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my brain-dead brother-in-law decided to play five finger fillet while at my place. Predictably, he ended up slicing a finger wide open. My mother-in-law now wants my blood, because she thinks I dared him to do it, and that clearly her perfect little angel couldn't be such a moron. FML

#21134881
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39278) - you deserved it (3512)

On 05/09/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by fmlgirl (woman) - Netherlands (Zeeland)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML

#20134512
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26337) - you deserved it (3511)

On 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

#21069920
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37402) - you deserved it (3511)

On 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm - misc - by DIY560 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after listening to a group of my friends ranting on about how much they love babies and can't wait to have them, I got to witness their looks of horror and disgust as I expressed my desire to not have children. I also happened to be the only girl there. FML

#21335310
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31329) - you deserved it (3511)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I told my mom I want to get liposuction. She said "Whats the point? Its not like you can get lipo on your face!". FML

#2174
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20056) - you deserved it (3510)

On 01/22/2009 at 10:22am - health - by radiant - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML

#13688045
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26266) - you deserved it (3510)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:20pm - work - by speechless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML

#18644424
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28574) - you deserved it (3510)

On 12/29/2011 at 2:01pm - health - by digressions (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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