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Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36374) - you deserved it (2963)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

#3462
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23569) - you deserved it (2962)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by Coley - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out who the father of my sister's 4 year old son is. My husband of 7 years. FML

#5928824
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60004) - you deserved it (2962)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:31pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

#20459473
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28365) - you deserved it (2962)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I got a call at 4 in the morning from the security company, saying someone had broken into my workplace. I drove an hour out there, only to find out it was a rat that had set off the alarm. FML

#21000984
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38668) - you deserved it (2962)

On 12/22/2013 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML

#577
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23755) - you deserved it (2961)

On 12/23/2008 at 1:47am - misc - by zazadudu - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. My doctor said it was okay to eat, so, I had some mashed potatoes. Apparently, my body disagreed with the doctor, because I threw up. Because my face was so swollen, it didn't make it out my mouth. It went through my nose instead. I literally blew chunks. FML

Today, I found out that my best friend's mom doesn't wear pyjamas when I got up to go get a glass of water in the middle of the night, at the same time she did. FML

#13204621
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22644) - you deserved it (2961)

On 09/26/2010 at 1:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, someone thought it would be funny to switch the signs on the bathroom doors. Fortunately, I knew which was the men's and went on in. The startled old woman inside, however, did not. FML

#8169403
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20820) - you deserved it (2961)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend said I looked like ET and made me pose next to a full scale model of him while she took a picture. She's showing her friends the picture and they agree. FML

#17795407
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25157) - you deserved it (2961)

On 09/21/2011 at 12:42pm - love - by srloin (man) - United States

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

#16607175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33718) - you deserved it (2961)

On 06/11/2011 at 4:48am - health - by pleasestop (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39158) - you deserved it (2961)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML

#20737123
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44288) - you deserved it (2961)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:54pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)



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