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Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30879) - you deserved it (2970)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32971) - you deserved it (2970)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my apartment building shut off our water for a short period of time because the pipes were being worked on. It was also the morning my dog had diarrhea on my cream carpet. Not only did I have to clean it up without water, I couldn't wash my hands afterward. FML

#13801774
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26657) - you deserved it (2971)

On 11/11/2010 at 1:02pm - animals - by jordanss - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

#8434762
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19635) - you deserved it (2969)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by Brett meek - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend, the love of my life. Actually I ran into a billboard for her college, where apparently she is the new "poster girl" for their advertising campaign. I have now seen her on 2 billboards, a newspaper ad and a bus. FML

#13209934
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28141) - you deserved it (2969)

On 09/26/2010 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18992) - you deserved it (2969)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my husband managed to set fire to half of our garden setting up mosquito repellents. FML

#20802186
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36294) - you deserved it (2969)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:10am - misc - by how (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my ex girlfriend that I still love sent me a text, quote "I still love you, but i'm not IN love with you" um. what? FML

#779
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22387) - you deserved it (2968)

On 01/07/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by wtf - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

#8124338
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42647) - you deserved it (2968)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML

#19299897
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27062) - you deserved it (2968)

On 03/18/2012 at 11:04am - work - by cachucy - United States (Illinois)

Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML

#20748362
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41334) - you deserved it (2968)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

#79769
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57305) - you deserved it (2967)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by killmenow (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got my report card from school. I pulled my grade up in Algebra from a D to an A. My parents told me that they never expected me to accomplish this, and good job but they've already enrolled me in boarding school. So much for all that extra credit and staying late after school to study. FML

#6900701
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27501) - you deserved it (2967)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by bee (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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