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Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46027) - you deserved it (3213)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

#21002133
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42918) - you deserved it (3213)

On 12/23/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by GogglesGoggles - United States

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

#21247834
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36337) - you deserved it (3213)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while showering in my dorm, a hand reaches through the curtain and grabs my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized and he had sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

#268539
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70330) - you deserved it (3212)

On 03/11/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bicurious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML

#3137659
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52450) - you deserved it (3212)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a huge rock concert. While waiting in a half a mile long line to get in, I passed out due to the heat. I regained consciousness to hear about a hundred people yelling and trying to help me. My boyfriend, who I went with, was not one of them. FML

#4193534
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42627) - you deserved it (3212)

On 07/31/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by passedoutpolly (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I threw up when I woke up, feeling quite ill, I told my mum. She instantly thought I was pregnant. I'm still a virgin and she doesn't believe me. FML

#15229346
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33732) - you deserved it (3212)

On 03/07/2011 at 1:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, I got demoted at my job. Instead of working with patients, they want me to file. The thing is, I'm a volunteer; I work for them for free. FML

#1523
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18548) - you deserved it (3211)

On 01/17/2009 at 10:44pm - work - by wasted_life - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, claiming moving in was a bad idea and he is the type who needs his privacy. It was his idea to move in, he had to convince me. Now we are stuck, under lease together for the next 6 months. FML

#7874212
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24414) - you deserved it (3211)

On 02/04/2010 at 11:03am - love - by Awkward - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML

#13079046
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34277) - you deserved it (3211)

On 09/16/2010 at 9:30pm - love - by ccblock (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML

#20420365
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29147) - you deserved it (3211)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)

Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML

#21068141
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49629) - you deserved it (3211)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by seriously though - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was stood up on a date. Her excuse? "I had to work out." FML

#14249095
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24883) - you deserved it (3210)

On 12/18/2010 at 3:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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