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Today, I found my two best friends making out with each other. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. Today was my wedding day. One of the friends was my maid of honor, the other was my groom. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2009 at 1:42pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML

by liquidknight / 09/10/2012 at 8:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 5:25am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my dad found the Father's Day present that I spent at least ten hours preparing and decorating. I'd expected him to be extremely happy about this lovely gift. His only reaction was to ask if he could exchange it for something else. FML

by I keep failing it all / 06/02/2013 at 3:45pm / Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend asked me to start using a period tracker app so I can tell him which week of each month he needs to "stay the hell away" from me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2015 at 9:19am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Love

Today, my motorcycle was stolen from the 4th level of my “secure” gated parking garage. I strategically park it tightly between my car and a concrete wall to limit theft opportunity. They scratched my car trying to get it out. FML

by stolenbike / 06/14/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, I was at a Starbucks drive-thru and was grabbing a hot coffee when I got rear ended and my car hit the vehicle in front of me which deployed my airbag. Hot coffee can really burn when it hits your face at a high rate of speed. FML

by coffeeburns / 07/19/2009 at 3:25am / United States / Transportation

Today, my neighbors were busted for a meth lab in their garage. Yesterday, I signed the mortgage. Welcome to our new neighborhood, kids. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2009 at 1:51am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was finally discharged from hospital after being in there for one month, I arrive home to find a letter from a debt collection agency for my unpaid car insurance premium, and another letter from my car insurer to say that they aren't covering my accident due to non payment of premium. FML

by Chriso / 11/17/2009 at 6:48am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend of three years who I helped through drug rehab and find employment in my office left me for someone else. His explanation was that now that his "head is not clouded with chemicals" and he "makes decent money", he wants to settle down with someone worthy of him. FML

by dracer / 02/03/2010 at 9:17pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

by ugh / 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I came across the topic of school while chatting. He asked me what high school I went to and where I moved from. I have lived here my whole life, he was my crush for four years, and was in my classes throughout those years. He doesn't believe me. FML

by steph2052 / 07/12/2011 at 8:51pm / United States (Washington) / Love