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Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2009 at 2:18pm / United States / Love

Today, I found my two best friends making out with each other. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. Today was my wedding day. One of the friends was my maid of honor, the other was my groom. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2009 at 1:42pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 9:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML

by anonymous / 12/24/2014 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a diaper in the parking lot. It's been raining all morning. This was the wrong day to wear flip-flops. FML

by dirtytoes / 11/06/2015 at 9:27am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I chose to date him. After going on for five minutes about how unique and funny he is, I ask him the same question. His reply? "You were the first person to ask me out." He then rolled over and fell asleep. FML

by Fluory / 12/07/2009 at 9:43am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad found the Father's Day present that I spent at least ten hours preparing and decorating. I'd expected him to be extremely happy about this lovely gift. His only reaction was to ask if he could exchange it for something else. FML

by I keep failing it all / 06/02/2013 at 3:45pm / Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis) / Kids

Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2014 at 10:34am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Love

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Transportation

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

by k8thagr8 / 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm / United States / Kids

Today, I flew home early from a two month trip to Europe to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. When I got to his house with a home baked cake from scratch and a quilt with slik-screened pictures from my trip, his roommate answered the door and said "Oh sorry, he's out with his girlfriend." FML

by Muscle / 03/06/2009 at 4:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love