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Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

#20554757
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30974) - you deserved it (3100)

On 03/22/2013 at 6:49am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML

#21008500
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41802) - you deserved it (3100)

On 12/28/2013 at 5:34pm - health - by worstwaytodumpagirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, I was driving home through the middle of nowhere when a screw punctured my car tire. I arrived at the town's only auto shop to find that it had closed early. Frantic, I dialed the emergency number listed on the shop's locked door. On the other side of the glass, a phone began to ring. FML

#3579421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47836) - you deserved it (3099)

On 07/08/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

#14019566
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22580) - you deserved it (3099)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by AntiAxe -

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

#8994102
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20695) - you deserved it (3099)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States

Today, I was at work in a lab. I spent all day growing a large bacterial culture. I went to retrieve it, only to find that someone had turned the incubation shaker up too high, and my flask had flown off and shattered. Not only did I lose all my work, but now the whole room is a biohazard. FML

#3859310
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39269) - you deserved it (3098)

On 07/18/2009 at 3:46pm - work - by startingover (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

#5187639
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51510) - you deserved it (3098)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML

#7972550
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31680) - you deserved it (3098)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by notababymama (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered my fiancé has been telling everyone else we are just friends, yet last night he wanted me to go with him to pick up my engagement ring. I'm supposing the wedding will be a surprise to everyone. FML

#14721609
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26465) - you deserved it (3098)

On 01/26/2011 at 4:26pm - love - by Unreality (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I contacted my biological father, after not speaking to him for some years, as we had a very strained relationship. I received an automated response. It's probably the best conversation we have ever had. FML

#16328382
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26491) - you deserved it (3098)

On 05/24/2011 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I spent six hours driving between two airports to try and catch my flight. Two trailer accidents, two construction zones, three detours, and one police escort later, the airline wouldn't let me on the plane. FML

#15651361
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33457) - you deserved it (3098)

On 04/05/2011 at 2:13pm - money - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#17017856
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53291) - you deserved it (3098)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23969) - you deserved it (3098)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)



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