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Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

#17380404
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38805) - you deserved it (3728)

On 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long nasty toes nails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML

#6578474
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40397) - you deserved it (3727)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:59am - health - by ewww (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, the 75 year old blinding owner of the bar I work at called me over and told me to fire "Rachel, the stupid c**t after the next wrong thing she does". My name is Rachel. FML

#193676
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55334) - you deserved it (3726)

On 03/03/2009 at 3:26am - work - by nicooolea (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63651) - you deserved it (3726)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I said yes and he gave me an engagement ring. He immediately went to call his mom to tell her the happy news. After the phone call, he asked if he could return the ring because his mom needed money. FML

#5110290
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55369) - you deserved it (3726)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while working as a cashier at McDonald's, a man came in telling me that he had not received his hamburger. I looked at his receipt and the date said 11/17/09. FML

#16970431
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35593) - you deserved it (3726)

On 07/04/2011 at 5:42am - work - by crudofalife - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML

#3457601
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52970) - you deserved it (3725)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, there was a a huge storm. There were no buses so I walked for an hour to see my boyfriend of two years who (usually rather the unemotionally type) had called me, crying. When I got there soaking wet, he told me that he doesn't love me anymore and this makes him sad. I had to walk back. FML

#2314963
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60279) - you deserved it (3725)

On 05/26/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML

#20706851
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58766) - you deserved it (3725)

On 06/05/2013 at 1:02am - love - by Justme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad decided to clean his muddy shoes right beside me by clapping them together, causing mud to fly all over me. This wouldn't have been a problem had I not been wearing my white wedding dress just before getting married. FML

#20989738
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59838) - you deserved it (3725)

On 12/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by >.> (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found a note on my door that said "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked". Later, I found another note that said "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML

#3041162
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49940) - you deserved it (3724)

On 06/19/2009 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mother and father are insisting that I go on a date with a German exchange student they met on the weekend. Why? Because we have similar glasses. FML

#4756987
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35897) - you deserved it (3724)

On 08/23/2009 at 9:29am - love - by Foureyes (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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