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Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

#19956706
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33055) - you deserved it (3283)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by Awkward - United States (California)

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML

#20922948
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39764) - you deserved it (3283)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by Awahso - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found a video of my girlfriend having sex with her male best friend on her computer. When I confronted her about it she said it was from before we met. In the video, she was wearing the engagement ring I bought her. FML

#13221362
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55737) - you deserved it (3282)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that while having a GPS tracker in your car is helpful for tracking down car thieves, it's also helpful to your psycho ex, who can use it to track you down. FML

#20846264
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40228) - you deserved it (3282)

On 08/20/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by nobieb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38239) - you deserved it (3282)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML

#1127830
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55773) - you deserved it (3281)

On 04/19/2009 at 7:07pm - work - by guessimdead (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my family returned from a holiday in Egypt. A holiday that I really wanted to spend with them. As if leaving me behind wasn't bad enough, they then made me watch a 200 picture slideshow of how much fun they had. FML

#2206074
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44052) - you deserved it (3281)

On 05/23/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by MdT (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I ran into my ex's family, and found out they are going to Europe. Funnily enough, so am I. Even funnier is the fact that we are going on the same date, at the same time, on the same flights, and the tour starts on the same day in the same place. FML

#7810675
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34947) - you deserved it (3282)

On 02/02/2010 at 9:08am - misc - by jacques (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, 50,000 copies of the new edition of the town's phone book came out. I manage a pizza place and bought a full menu ad. Apparently the ad designer got confused, as they placed my cell phone number in huge bold letters at the bottom of the ad instead of the store's phone number. FML

#12949707
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32642) - you deserved it (3281)

On 09/07/2010 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mother tried to tell me that nicotine is the only substance that ensures weight loss, and that nicotine has been passed down in our family for over 5 generations of heavy smoking relatives. Then she encouraged me to start smoking. FML

#16776471
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41594) - you deserved it (3281)

On 06/21/2011 at 3:08am - health - by Caeru (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53439) - you deserved it (3281)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

#19990004
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21893) - you deserved it (3282)

On 07/29/2012 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

#19173596
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23016) - you deserved it (3281)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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