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Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML

#2820060
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64728) - you deserved it (2977)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML

#6480993
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19564) - you deserved it (2978)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was watching a movie with my sister, my roommate, and my girlfriend. Half way through the movie, my girlfriend left the room and texted me that she was breaking up with me. She then came back in the room, sat on my bed, and enjoyed the rest of the movie with us. FML

#5924772
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42239) - you deserved it (2977)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Small_Fry_Hero (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm the coach of a football team. To celebrate winning a game, they poured a cooler of blue Gatorade over my head. This would've been great, if not for the fact that I'm highly allergic to blue food dye. FML

#16256468
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35194) - you deserved it (2977)

On 05/19/2011 at 7:32pm - health - by blue. -

Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML

#17172362
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31445) - you deserved it (2977)

On 07/19/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by KidCudi227 - United States (Arizona)

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

#20678301
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46697) - you deserved it (2977)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm - money - by LightsOut - United States (Florida)

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

#21198585
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43027) - you deserved it (2978)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, at exactly midnight, I get a text from my boyfriend saying we were done. I had just seen him 4 hours ago when we were out celebrating my birthday, and asked why he didnt just tell me then. He replies 'I couldn't break up with you on your birthday but i wanted it to be over ASAP' FML

#2323618
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50380) - you deserved it (2976)

On 05/26/2009 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML

#16515847
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41104) - you deserved it (2976)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:20pm - love - by mj - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML

#19026244
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23560) - you deserved it (2976)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mother met my sister's boyfriend for the first time. As we talked about it later over dinner she said she didn't like him. When I asked why, she paused for a second and said, "Well, he really reminds me of you." FML

#20611376
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38039) - you deserved it (2976)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:27pm - misc - by Ellwood - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

#20984974
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35650) - you deserved it (2976)

On 12/08/2013 at 1:00pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

#21097210
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39099) - you deserved it (2976)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm - animals - by In urgent need of a new roommate - United States (Oregon)



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