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Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

#20434472
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33022) - you deserved it (2748)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm - work - by shattysituation - United States

Today, one of my bosses said, "You're going to take this as an insult, but it's not. At a certain age, women are supposed to cut their hair short." I have long hair. My bosses have all of the social skills of the guys from Big Bang Theory. FML

#20798680
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34003) - you deserved it (2748)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:23am - work - by Irreverend (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to retrieve my stolen wallet from the train station. After I collected it, I returned to the place where I parked my bike to find that my bike had been stolen. FML

#5941980
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28946) - you deserved it (2747)

On 10/22/2009 at 7:29am - misc - by UnluckyTeen (man) - Singapore

Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8 hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I am now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML

#9123169
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19758) - you deserved it (2747)

On 03/16/2010 at 1:19am - work - by evenpoorer (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28812) - you deserved it (2747)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML

#20779019
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45258) - you deserved it (2748)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anna - United States (New York)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

#20887758
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36712) - you deserved it (2747)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

#19528563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21925) - you deserved it (2746)

On 04/25/2012 at 6:43pm - love - by anyoi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML

#20398380
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18694) - you deserved it (2746)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the company I was fired from three years ago merged with the company I work at now. The new owners' first order of business was to fire me again. FML

#20508810
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41774) - you deserved it (2746) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/15/2013 at 8:37pm - work - by Nico - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was late to work and couldn't get my gas tank open. Panicking, I asked the only person around to help me who happened to be a very large man. He was able to open it for me and seemed really nice. That is until he pulled out a knife and robbed me. FML

#2752400
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43618) - you deserved it (2745)

On 06/09/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by unfortunate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while working at Starbucks, a customer spilled her drink all over the counter. After I cleaned up her spill and remade the drink (for free), she exclaimed "Thanks! I should really tip you!" Then she turned around, walked directly past the tip jar, and left the store. FML

#4511734
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39788) - you deserved it (2745)

On 08/13/2009 at 9:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had two of my wisdom teeth removed. One side of my face is completely swollen, and the other is normal. I feel like the elephant man. FML

#18528725
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14331) - you deserved it (2745)

On 12/16/2011 at 4:13pm - misc - by HR (woman) - United States (California)



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