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Today, I came home from a four month stay in Africa, where I managed to avoid suffering any serious illness. Some hours after my first meal back at home, I got food poisoning. FML

#20608123
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45088) - you deserved it (3731)

On 04/20/2013 at 5:17pm - misc - by unlucky - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was formally diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive tendencies. My mom saw this as an excuse to make me clean the whole house top to bottom, because "Hey, you love to clean." FML

#20855277
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45933) - you deserved it (3731)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by ocdistheworst (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my nephews discovered how to trick my washing machine into starting up while the door is still open. My laundry room is now flooded, and their mom refuses to accept any responsibility for it. FML

Today, the elevator broke in my dorm and won't be fixed for several days. I live on the 26th floor. FML

#12870338
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40834) - you deserved it (3730)

On 09/02/2010 at 1:39pm - misc - by flimflam (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. My new boss asked me if I was single. After telling him I have been happily married for 6 years, he fired me on the spot. FML

#16793164
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52905) - you deserved it (3730)

On 06/22/2011 at 1:35am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, after not receiving my paycheck for over a month, I confronted my boss about it. His response? "You still work here?" FML

#17023007
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37879) - you deserved it (3730)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:10am - work - by outofajob - United States

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

#20724048
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54465) - you deserved it (3730)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first ever live piano performance. It went all great until the end, when I stood up, slipped, and smashed face-first into the keys. I've lost half a tooth and all my dignity. FML

#21100221
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46056) - you deserved it (3730)

On 03/30/2014 at 2:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I bought a puppy. I just found out I can't bring it on the family trip. To save me the trouble of finding a friend to take her in, my mum handed her back to the pound. FML

#6969552
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33994) - you deserved it (3729)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48am - misc - by DroopyDog (woman) - Netherlands (Flevoland)

Today, I started a new job. The supervisor handed me a badge with the name 'Rachel' on it, which is not my name. When I told her this, she responded with, "I know, but it will be easier for the customers to pronounce than your actual name." FML

#13430217
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29810) - you deserved it (3729)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out my girlfriend of four years is legally married to a man in prison. He gets out next week. FML

#14254809
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44777) - you deserved it (3729)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:14am - love - by fouryearswasted - United States

Today, I was attacked by a duck. I thought I was higher on the food chain than that. FML



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