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Today, I after getting off the bus, I realized that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML

#14573831
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23282) - you deserved it (3360)

On 01/14/2011 at 1:32am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

#19207356
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22470) - you deserved it (3360)

On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)

Today, less than a month from our wedding, my fiancé told me that he doesn't trust me and will be cancelling our wedding and new apartment lease if I don't give him all the names, numbers and addresses of my exes. All because I received a text from a wrong number that said, "Hey baby." FML

#21400981
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32037) - you deserved it (3360)

On 04/28/2015 at 1:32am - love - by Groomzilla? - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my birthday, and my boyfriend got surgery on his gallbladder because he had big gallstones. After they were removed, he was still a little out of it from the morphine. He gave the gallstones to me for my birthday. Better still, his mom suggested I make a necklace out of them. FML

#3603411
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48594) - you deserved it (3359)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:02am - love - by gallstones (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy. After picking me up, he started to play on repeat, and sing to me, 'Happy Together' by The Turtles. For the entire 20 minute ride. FML

#8195721
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21842) - you deserved it (3359)

On 02/13/2010 at 3:49am - love - by girlie5445 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that my stalker ex-girlfriend named her new born son after me. FML

#17794900
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37043) - you deserved it (3359)

On 09/21/2011 at 10:44am - love - by cjy152 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

#21000124
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41646) - you deserved it (3359)

On 12/21/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by FML (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my high school guidance counselor tried to convince me NOT to go to college, mainly because it's been so long since someone from my high school went to college, that she got rid of all the college information she used to have. FML

#15768228
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42286) - you deserved it (3358)

On 04/13/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by CollegeBoy (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after spending a few minutes de-icing my car and leaving the heat on so it would warm up, I slipped as I was entering the car and hit my head on the door, causing it to close and lock. I'm waiting for my mom who has a spare key to come and unlock it. Class started ten minutes ago. FML

#7613862
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22609) - you deserved it (3357)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:03pm - misc - by katie - Sent from mobile version

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
184 comments

Today, I saw a Red Tailed Hawk land on my car and spend a few minutes looking at his reflection in the windshield. This was all really neat until I found out he badly scratched my hood with his large talons. FML

#17066735
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25601) - you deserved it (3357)

On 07/11/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by MakeItMaaco (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML

#20854169
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38725) - you deserved it (3357)

On 08/25/2013 at 8:10pm - misc - by etgohome (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML



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