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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML

#13005012
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29118) - you deserved it (3170)

On 09/11/2010 at 2:59pm - misc - by wantontsu -

Today, I broke my collarbone in a rugby tournament. I was forced to sit through five more hours of games because the coach wouldn't take me to the hospital until the tournament was over. FML

#16929999
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31353) - you deserved it (3170)

On 07/01/2011 at 12:15am - health - by nico (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my lovely amazing boyfriend likes to pee in everything other than the toilet. This includes: Hawaiian punch jugs, the sink, empty cans/bottles and out of my window. FML

#19514885
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21709) - you deserved it (3170)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML

#21297662
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42615) - you deserved it (3170)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland)

Today, I looked at a girl's profile on a dating website, and it told her I'd visited it. Later on, she sent me a message. It said: "Don't even think about it." FML

Today, I caught my dad eating the dog treats I'd bought for my dog. The only thing he could say was "These are really good, no wonder the dog is so obedient. Wanna try one?" FML

#13684464
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22348) - you deserved it (3169)

On 11/02/2010 at 3:13am - animals - by treats - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend's mother who lives with us decided that since I work from home, it would be a good idea for her to stay home and keep me company. "Keeping me company" includes ordering me to make her food, gossiping non stop, and ridiculing me for not being the woman that she always saw her son marrying. FML

#14664315
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29316) - you deserved it (3169)

On 01/21/2011 at 5:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27988) - you deserved it (3169)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past 4 months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

#3986456
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54811) - you deserved it (3168)

On 07/23/2009 at 7:25pm - love - by Inga44 (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML

#5643863
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44092) - you deserved it (3168)

On 10/04/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Foufinator - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML

#17952453
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23635) - you deserved it (3168)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, at 7 in the morning, I end up outside in a night dress, with bare feet and in the rain. I've just found out that my two year old son now knows how to close the patio door, which of course, has no outside door handle. FML

#685
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19558) - you deserved it (3167)

On 01/02/2009 at 8:22pm - kids - by lilou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went in my room to play my guitar. I found my Les Paul on the floor with all the strings missing. I later found out my grandma cut them off because I was playing "Devil's Music." FML

#5775880
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43470) - you deserved it (3167)

On 10/11/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by cbarebo (man) - United States (West Virginia)



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