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Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML

#2763801
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55234) - you deserved it (3259)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by dodgerkiss (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my medical checkup back. Apparently, I'm diagnosed with a liver condition generally found in alcoholics. I've never drank in my life. FML

#2043570
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57321) - you deserved it (3259)

On 05/18/2009 at 4:48am - health - by esk (man) - China (Shanghai)

Today, I was going to hang out with the girl I like, because she was leaving for the rest of the Summer. She had to cancel to go shopping with her grandma "all day." At 1 o'clock, she came online and told me how much fun she had with this guy I really don't like. She forgot that she lied to me. FML

#4020184
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50015) - you deserved it (3260)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:17am - love - by Jake (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after work, I parked in the parking lot I go to every day to let heavy traffic go by. As I was about to leave, two cops suddenly yanked me out of the car and arrested me for "stocking," as they spelled it on the report. Some paranoid girl thought I was parking there every day to watch her. FML

Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML

#12332951
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35785) - you deserved it (3259)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by Tired (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML

#15881696
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36758) - you deserved it (3259)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:53am - love - by AngryBirdman -

Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML

#17039633
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31456) - you deserved it (3259)

On 07/09/2011 at 10:34am - animals - by iGreen - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, I was stopped behind a pickup truck filled with junk. I told my friend that the person should have secured the junk better, since it looked like it would fall off any minute. My friend assured me it wouldn't. Right after she said that, a large piece of plywood fell off and hit my windshield. FML

#21300434
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28649) - you deserved it (3259)

On 11/16/2014 at 11:17pm - misc - by pickuptruckblues - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17967) - you deserved it (3272)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom, sister, and I were talking about a friend's girlfriend. My sister's opinion of her was that she was cute but not hot. My mom agreed, saying that she didn't think that someone without boobs could EVER be hot. She then looked at me and said "no offense." FML

#3341978
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44883) - you deserved it (3258)

On 06/29/2009 at 7:07pm - misc - by Atomic_Tangerine (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML

#8051143
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34726) - you deserved it (3258)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML

#14043975
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31883) - you deserved it (3258)

On 12/01/2010 at 1:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq



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