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Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

#14234557
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27547) - you deserved it (3021)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:23am - health - by BYUwildchild - United States

Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML

#13082882
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29848) - you deserved it (3021)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

#13444115
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28997) - you deserved it (3021)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Reserved

Today, instead of having my friends come pick me up, my dad drove me over to visit them. He insisted on walking me up to the door, hugging me goodbye, and making sure my friends were appropriate enough to hang out with. I'm in college. FML

#19742208
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22327) - you deserved it (3021)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by that girl. - United States

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17893) - you deserved it (3021)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said "Oops." and hung up. FML

#21246633
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33566) - you deserved it (3022)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by nayahbear24 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I couldn't trust her after cheating on me with 3 guys. Our friends are sad about it so they're throwing her a pity party. Now I'm single and I have no friends. FML

#6441819
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34510) - you deserved it (3020)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:57am - love - by whatthewhat? - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother thinks I'm a loser and a scumbag. We haven't even met yet. FML

#16807488
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27950) - you deserved it (3020)

On 06/22/2011 at 11:00pm - love - by arekusa - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

#20626458
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42865) - you deserved it (3020)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was doing a science presentation about glucose. There was around 20 judges at the event who could've judged me, but instead I got judged by the only person in the whole entire world who doesn't know what glucose is and doesn't think it exists. FML

#21066140
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41983) - you deserved it (3020)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:27am - work - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school saying "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits". FML

#6719670
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28468) - you deserved it (3019)

On 12/12/2009 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

#6316849
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32771) - you deserved it (3019)

On 11/15/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by redisnotmycolor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that if you lose contact with people in your previous school, they decide to spread rumors about you and make everyone believe that you're dead. FML

#6365565
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26354) - you deserved it (3019)

On 11/19/2009 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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