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Today, I went on a drive with my girlfriend when we went past a 'Dead End' sign. She pointed to it and said it was "Foreshadowing our relationship". FML

#13754319
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29153) - you deserved it (3040)

On 11/07/2010 at 4:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at work at a new job, my brother comes and takes my car. Along with all my money, my phone, and whatever else I had in my purse. His message to me through one of my co-workers was "walk home." FML

#12487392
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24984) - you deserved it (3040)

On 08/12/2010 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML

#14542249
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31182) - you deserved it (3040)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:45am - love - by Username -

Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen me up and calm my nerves. I have a 3 hour long meeting soon. FML

#17333290
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29621) - you deserved it (3040)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:05pm - kids - by burn - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that the building I just moved into contains both a drummer and an opera singer. Both are very dedicated to their craft and practice frequently. FML

#17728385
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26756) - you deserved it (3040)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by OperaLover (man) - United States (New York)

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26224) - you deserved it (3040)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML

#20516690
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23361) - you deserved it (3040)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:21pm - health - by NewDrugs (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was feeling down about being stuck in bed after ankle surgery. I thought I would go ahead and call my boss and let him know everything went well. He said the obligatory nice things, then told me that if I'm not at work on Monday, I'll be fired. I can't even get out of bed. FML

#20638400
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44563) - you deserved it (3040)

On 05/03/2013 at 1:35am - work - by clutzasaurus (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, we got a new employee at work. I said hi, and told her that if she needed help figuring out our computer system, then to give me a call. She promptly accused me of sexual harassment and filed a complaint against me. FML

Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

#20892589
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38051) - you deserved it (3040)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML

#21121715
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36732) - you deserved it (3040)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Angus)

Today, my boyfriend was seated in my section at work. As he sees me his face drops... he's on a date. He had forgotten I work there. I had to serve him and his date, and they didn't leave a tip. FML

#13621862
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43722) - you deserved it (3039)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:27am - love - by heshay - United States (Texas)



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  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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