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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

#21244154
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38391) - you deserved it (3057)

On 08/24/2014 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

#13475038
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34793) - you deserved it (3056)

On 10/16/2010 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth taken out. The two male doctors told me they'd give me anesthesia, but when they did, I could still hear them. I heard them talking about my breasts and how flat they were for a 17 year old. FML

#12894056
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37345) - you deserved it (3056)

On 09/03/2010 at 11:43pm - misc - by mandy16 (woman) -

Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8 hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I am now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML

#9123169
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22994) - you deserved it (3056)

On 03/16/2010 at 1:19am - work - by evenpoorer (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML

#19993921
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21520) - you deserved it (3056)

On 07/31/2012 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

#20552364
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33984) - you deserved it (3056)

On 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

#20690777
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54306) - you deserved it (3056)

On 05/28/2013 at 4:09am - love - by really? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

#20835313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39190) - you deserved it (3056)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter managed to crash my car. It's okay though, the insurance will cover it. However, it won't cover all the items she damaged crashing into a garage sale. FML

#20856229
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37980) - you deserved it (3056)

On 08/27/2013 at 6:17am - kids - by Idontknowwhattodo (man) - United States (California)

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

#20887394
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33950) - you deserved it (3056)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:35am - work - by some people... - United States

Today, my husband and I got back from our honeymoon and we saw his mom's car in front of our house. When we walked in she asked us so many questions about our trip. The first question she asked my husband was, "Were you satisfied with her in bed?" FML

#1625692
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59435) - you deserved it (3055)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Jess (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took my 8 year old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

#7694418
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26785) - you deserved it (3055)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

#14705943
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21729) - you deserved it (3055)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Ulsan-gwangyoksi)



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