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Today, I was helping first-graders do school work when one of them stabbed me in the face with a pencil, all because I told her that a three was backwards. FML

#18396492
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27741) - you deserved it (3024)

On 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

#19260782
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24435) - you deserved it (3024)

On 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 7 year old brother decided that it would be fun to cut off my hair. I woke from a long nap after working the late shift, to about 15 inches of my long blonde hair all over my bed and floor. I now have bloody bald spots and really choppy hair about 3 inches long. He got away with it. FML

#6120189
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47144) - you deserved it (3023)

On 11/02/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by baldygirl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

#18451014
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29165) - you deserved it (3023)

On 12/07/2011 at 5:28am - misc - by wayne - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my uncle gave me a lecture on how I eat too much "unhealthy" junk food, and that it can be very harmful for me. All the while smoking a cigarette. FML

#19741419
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19147) - you deserved it (3023)

On 06/05/2012 at 10:59pm - health - by Singapore - United States (New York)

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42444) - you deserved it (3023)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. I have been getting explicit texts and phone calls so I just joking said to my friend, "I think someone wrote my number on a bathroom stall." At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those numbers." FML

#5227356
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38191) - you deserved it (3022)

On 09/13/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Casden (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

#5498731
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37568) - you deserved it (3022)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61372) - you deserved it (3022)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

#14234557
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27547) - you deserved it (3022)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:23am - health - by BYUwildchild - United States

Today, I found out the reason I can't get a job. My previous employer didn't know my name, so when places I applied to called there for a reference, my boss said he had no recollection of me working there. FML

#11010469
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28239) - you deserved it (3022)

On 06/06/2010 at 1:36pm - work - by duko3000 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML

#14948689
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35165) - you deserved it (3022)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:29am - intimacy - by KaraAnn17 - United States (Ohio)

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

#15179914
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38320) - you deserved it (3022)

On 03/02/2011 at 9:49pm - kids - by elfy2 -



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