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Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

#18121591
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35017) - you deserved it (3441)

On 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm - love - by poopcoloredeyes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML

#20876765
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54198) - you deserved it (3441)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:30am - love - by AnonymousLoser (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me but wanted to make sure that we were still friends, so he could still use my Netflix. FML

#20963690
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44037) - you deserved it (3441)

On 11/19/2013 at 7:19pm - love - by unwantedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, one of the guests I was in the middle of seating knocked an empty wine glass from the table. I assured them it was all right and kneeled down to pick up the now broken glass. The lady insisted on helping as far as picking the glass up and dumping the shards into my open hands. FML

#1342921
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45376) - you deserved it (3440)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:35am - work - by shadowednavi (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in the middle of an exam, I was escorted out by the campus police due to suspicion of a concealed weapon. The officers couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes when they found out the weapon was metal knitting needles. FML

#5710708
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31502) - you deserved it (3440)

On 10/07/2009 at 8:38pm - misc - by dangerousknitter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was crying because my cat died. My boyfriend cupped my face in his hands, looked me straight into the eyes and said, "I love seeing you cry." FML

#8969513
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36321) - you deserved it (3440)

On 03/10/2010 at 11:08am - love - by sliceddice (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)

Today, I went to the Salvation Army to donate some clothes. As I was handing over the 4 huge bags that I had carried for 10 blocks, while 6 months pregnant, somebody stole my purse. FML

#14211022
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40925) - you deserved it (3440)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:58am - misc - by mugged (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML

#18260922
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31350) - you deserved it (3440)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:23am - love - by dharp7 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28121) - you deserved it (3441)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

#21441958
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25252) - you deserved it (3440)

On 07/15/2015 at 7:15am - animals - by gassy - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

#6778697
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43403) - you deserved it (3439)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after my first flight landed late, I burned out my lungs sprinting full speed for 10 minutes to catch my next flight. The gate number on my ticket was wrong. It had been changed to one right next to where I had originally pulled up to. FML

#8501700
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (3439)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by mad flyer - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

#19539358
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44846) - you deserved it (3439)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)



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