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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my fiancée told me she can't marry me. Our wedding day is tomorrow and around 20 of our 180 guests attending have travelled half way around the world just for the occasion. FML

#20918616
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54750) - you deserved it (3318)

On 10/13/2013 at 6:49am - love - by IDon't - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

#14033332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30333) - you deserved it (3317)

On 11/30/2010 at 3:48am - intimacy - by Jack -

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML

#11497127
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38319) - you deserved it (3317)

On 06/27/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by ac13 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started my new job as a teacher. Worried about how I looked, I asked a coworker if I looked okay. She said, "You look fine. Just like a normal high school kid." I spent the next half hour convincing her that I was not a student, but a teacher. FML

#17569578
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26210) - you deserved it (3317)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Meagan smith - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML

#19397932
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30739) - you deserved it (3317)

On 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

#19818500
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25657) - you deserved it (3317)

On 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

#21300331
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32063) - you deserved it (3317)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by no - United States

Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk, people were stepping over me and my purse was gone. FML

#5676795
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57037) - you deserved it (3316)

On 10/06/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by blackedout (woman) - Singapore

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

#7158529
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20021) - you deserved it (3316)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML

#13688045
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24485) - you deserved it (3316)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:20pm - work - by speechless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

#13675906
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34434) - you deserved it (3316)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by mr_p - United States (Illinois)

Today, a guy drove straight into an intersection, running a stop sign and narrowly missing my car. I had to swerve into a snow bank to avoid him. He stopped long enough to see that I had a toddler in my car, before flipping me off and driving away. FML

#21058102
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44297) - you deserved it (3316)

On 02/12/2014 at 1:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I spoke to my dad for the first time in over a year. I've been volunteering in Mongolia, I have no running water, freeze my ass off everyday and communication with anyone who speaks English is scarce. One of the first things my father said to me was, "out of sight, out of mind." FML

#5183635
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32155) - you deserved it (3315)

On 09/11/2009 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Mongolia (Ulaanbaatar)



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