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Today, I was chosen as King for our winter formal. Even after I won, nobody wanted to dance with me. FML

#14954492
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32891) - you deserved it (3735)

On 02/13/2011 at 2:16am - misc - by Average - United States (Iowa)

Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML

#18650624
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23941) - you deserved it (3735)

On 12/30/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by 3peeps - United States

Today, after paying back the money my grandma lent me to fix my car, I stepped outside, only to see my car leaking antifreeze all over the driveway. I had to ask for the money back to fix it again. FML

#20916786
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43388) - you deserved it (3735)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:53pm - money - by broke_broken - United States (Utah)

Today, my grandmother is coming over to my family's house to stay for about a week or so. Apparently, the guest room window isn't big enough for her dream catcher, so she wants her cat to sleep in the guest room and she wants to sleep in my room. My parents support this. FML

#21103236
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43779) - you deserved it (3735)

On 04/02/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by themonesterman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad and I were watching Hawaii play the Navy in football. I cheered when Hawaii won. My dad turns to me and says, "You know your mother and I concieved you there?" Thanks Dad. FML

#6507580
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20798) - you deserved it (3734)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by hawaiianlovechild - United States

Today, my roommate came back drunk from rushing fraternities. Normally I wouldn't have minded, had he not immediately pissed and thrown up everywhere after entering the room. If only I had moved my guitar and the suitcase full of clothes I had left out after returning from break. FML

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

#20709788
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54580) - you deserved it (3734)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58304) - you deserved it (3734)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML

#20871774
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47451) - you deserved it (3733)

On 09/07/2013 at 5:43pm - work - by goshoveafuckingfrappuccinoupyourvagyoupsychocunt (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my roommate's extremely loud and obnoxious alarm went off six times, waking me up each time, before she finally gave up on hitting the snooze button and went back to sleep for good. FML

#21089097
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37629) - you deserved it (3733)

On 03/17/2014 at 3:07pm - misc - by IMAWAKE - United States (Michigan)

Today, I discovered that my best friend has been telling everyone at our workplace that I'm faking my pregnancy for attention. She was at every single one of my ultrasounds. FML

#21203309
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49349) - you deserved it (3733)

On 07/08/2014 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49704) - you deserved it (3733)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, my parents met my girlfriend for the first time and cooked us dinner. After, I was helping clean up in the kitchen and my dad says to me, "Don't worry, you have to slay a couple of dragons before you get to the princess." and winks at me. She heard. I was going to propose to her tonight. FML



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