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Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you". FML

#5033562
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52978) - you deserved it (3016)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

#13635730
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27079) - you deserved it (3016)

On 10/29/2010 at 4:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my new Commanding Officer is my ex-wife's new boyfriend. We're going on a two year tour at sea in two weeks. The reason we got a divorce is that she couldn't handle being tied down with someone in the Navy. FML

#16882996
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46413) - you deserved it (3016)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Drunken Sailor - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend texted me and said I had forgotten my blue bra. I don't have any blue bras. FML

#18534349
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39582) - you deserved it (3016)

On 12/17/2011 at 8:17am - love - by fmll - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me because he is moving. He's only moving 20 minutes away. FML

#19381159
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26090) - you deserved it (3016)

On 03/31/2012 at 8:22am - love - by swim5 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21552) - you deserved it (3016)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML

#216994
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52090) - you deserved it (3015)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML

#20893921
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39306) - you deserved it (3015)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:47am - kids - by cuntsmom (woman) - United States

Today, I received an overdue bill for my now nonexistent car that caught fire in July. FML

#13713270
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22735) - you deserved it (3014)

On 11/04/2010 at 10:42am - money - by Lisa - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

#17394745
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21691) - you deserved it (3014)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by fugachumi - United States (Texas)

Today, at my job as a produce clerk at a grocery store, I had an entire conversation with my coworker about how nice the new cabbage boxes are. This is all it takes to thrill me these days. FML

#18078433
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21531) - you deserved it (3014)

On 10/26/2011 at 2:36am - work - by insanitycalling - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

#18447759
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22930) - you deserved it (3014)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm - love - by sparklethelette - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I called a pest control company to ask them to come over to my place to help get rid of rats. The person on the phone told me to "be a man and stop acting like a girl". I'm a woman. FML

#20994255
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36497) - you deserved it (3014)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Mary (woman) - United States



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