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Today, my Dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter over reacted." FML

#6298520
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31531) - you deserved it (3051)

On 11/14/2009 at 7:35am - misc - by Kassiopia (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that I have to block my number to get my own mother to take my phone calls. FML

#6037423
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29752) - you deserved it (3051)

On 10/28/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Slayeddd (woman) - United States

Today, and all day, I was forced to listen to one of the kids in my apartment building play their recorder loudly and horribly. She started over whenever she missed a note. I was sick, was getting a migraine from it, and couldn't ask her to stop without her mom yelling at me. FML

#18242720
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21716) - you deserved it (3051)

On 11/13/2011 at 11:46pm - health - by mintypoison (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the mother of one of my students bitched me out about her son's poor grades. He lazes around all day, paying no attention and being a constant nuisance. But, she says it's not his fault, and demands that I give him better grades so he won't get "self-esteem" issues. FML

#20870380
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46680) - you deserved it (3051)

On 09/06/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, My roommate texted me and warned me to be careful on the stairs leading to our place because they were icy. I got the message. After I fell down an entire flight of stone stairs. FML

#12686
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23592) - you deserved it (3050)

On 02/06/2009 at 11:58pm - misc - by CBM2012 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while showering in my dorm, a hand reaches through the curtain and grabs my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized and he had sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

#268539
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68427) - you deserved it (3050)

On 03/11/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML

#1798855
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45215) - you deserved it (3050)

On 05/10/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML

#21964
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37190) - you deserved it (3050)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by herpderp (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts "GO F YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML

#13622060
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26850) - you deserved it (3050)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband who asked for a divorce four days ago announced his engagement on Facebook. His new woman's profile picture is my engagement ring. FML

#14842088
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43704) - you deserved it (3050)

On 02/04/2011 at 6:07pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at Wal-Mart walking around when I slipped on some water and twisted my ankle. As I was getting up, a man comes up to me and said "There's some water on the floor, watch out." FML

#17770342
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24818) - you deserved it (3050)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:20am - misc - by yeahhhhhommmie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML

#20893921
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39652) - you deserved it (3050)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:47am - kids - by cuntsmom (woman) - United States

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42766) - you deserved it (3050)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)



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