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Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML

by wtf / 07/31/2010 at 7:31pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend at her mom's birthday party, in front of her whole family. They even got it on video. FML

by Marlon / 12/11/2010 at 3:18am / United States / Love

Today, I found out that instead of being stationed in Afghanistan, my husband of 9 years has been "stationed" at his other girlfriend's house. FML

by AlwaysGottaFML / 08/20/2011 at 3:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of five years was in a bad car crash, and ended up with a concussion. He didn't remember me. At all. But he remembered his other girlfriend he had cheated on me with for two months. FML

by Nicoli / 11/10/2011 at 1:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML

by JohnBlack / 06/11/2012 at 11:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML

by furryfriend / 09/16/2014 at 2:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, whilst laying in bed with my girlfriend, she received a flirty message from her ex on her phone asking if she wanted to go to the cinema. She replied, knowing I could see the screen. The messages were signed with a love heart and about 15 kisses. She claims they are still just friends. FML

by anonymous / 02/24/2015 at 6:50am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Love

Today, I went for a job interview. Before giving me a tour, the manager pointed to my purse and said, "Better leave that in my office." I didn't know why it was safer in her office than on my shoulder, but I complied. Later, I went to buy coffee and discovered that all my cash was missing. FML

by NoMoney4Me / 09/24/2012 at 6:48am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was sent to group therapy. A girl spent twenty minutes telling us horrible details of having been raised incestuously. A side effect of my new medication is yawning. FML

by fiercehawk / 04/24/2013 at 2:23am / United States (Indiana) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML

by amy / 10/16/2013 at 5:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I ran sound for my ex's wedding rehearsal since I was the only sound tech in town. Her dad was late for the rehearsal, so the pastor had me to walk her down the aisle. FML

by d.stack / 08/12/2009 at 7:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2010 at 5:26pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were in his car when he burst out crying, I thought it might have been because we had gotten into a huge fight and he felt bad. No, he cried on my shoulder for a half hour because he misses his ex-girlfriend. He's been writing songs about wanting her back. FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 7:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Love