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Today, I found out that "going for a meal and going out clubbing" for New Year's means me cooking for my mates and driving them to the pub. FML

#7042607
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19425) - you deserved it (3104)

On 12/30/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by stonesober (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I woke up late to an urgent voicemail from my dad telling me he left me a present in my car. Excited, I went to investigate. I then saw that his "surprise" was fresh fish he had caught. I hate fish, and now my car stinks. FML

#12999692
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21578) - you deserved it (3104)

On 09/11/2010 at 2:19am - misc - by ~JESSICA~ - United States

Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kickers? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML

#12097515
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23744) - you deserved it (3104)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:17am - kids - by longdrive (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I watched my grandfather try and park his car inside the storage area for shopping carts, thinking it was a parking space. FML

#14934394
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24763) - you deserved it (3104)

On 02/11/2011 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

#18630466
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31298) - you deserved it (3104)

On 12/28/2011 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

#19594950
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32401) - you deserved it (3104)

On 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by laury - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

#19869373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23196) - you deserved it (3104)

On 06/30/2012 at 1:08am - work - by John - United States (New York)

Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML

#20420365
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28099) - you deserved it (3104)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a huge rock concert. While waiting in a half a mile long line to get in, I passed out due to the heat. I regained consciousness to hear about a hundred people yelling and trying to help me. My boyfriend, who I went with, was not one of them. FML

#4193534
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41298) - you deserved it (3103)

On 07/31/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by passedoutpolly (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

#4293059
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46851) - you deserved it (3103)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

#7760741
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25688) - you deserved it (3103)

On 01/31/2010 at 10:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I decided to fix my bike and take it for a test ride. Five minutes in, a bee flew into my eye and stung me. In pain, I thought it would be best to go home. I turned around to find a big pitbull running towards me. The dog chased me for a mile before giving up. FML

Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML

#17037512
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39031) - you deserved it (3103)

On 07/09/2011 at 3:04am - misc - by JohnyP - United States (Ohio)



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