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Today, I was helping my brother clean his room. While putting clothes away, I found a box of thongs. They were mine. FML

by haha247 / 08/14/2009 at 10:09am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a schedule in my dorm room that I share with three other guys. Looking at it closer I realized it was my schedule with notes written in all around it. My roommates have planned their entire days around mine so we won't have any interaction at all. I thought we got along great. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2010 at 8:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my house caught on fire. The firefighters said that it was caused by a lit cigarette on the carpet. I don't smoke, but apparently my 13 year old son does. FML

by no one / 03/29/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML

by sausagefingers / 10/22/2012 at 1:29am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I found out via Instagram that my boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimed. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2013 at 12:33pm / Japan (Tokyo) / Love

Today, my team suffered a humiliating loss against our biggest rivals. My family was pretty supportive, though, but only because they'd taken bets against me from the start. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2014 at 5:26pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally had nice enough weather to dry my clothes on the washing line. Two hours later, all my clothes were stolen. FML

by clothesthief / 04/03/2015 at 6:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got mugged. They wanted my phone and wallet. The most important thing in my wallet was my fully punched Smoothie King card. FML

by ashleeylynn / 03/15/2010 at 11:05am / United States / Money

Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 9:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally found out who has been hacking my email account to send dirty messages to my teacher. My dad. FML

by Charles / 05/18/2011 at 1:13pm / Norway (Akershus) / Miscellaneous

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

by harrington61 / 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I went on what I thought was a date. After a wonderful night with a perfect gentleman, he told me how excited he is that he's moving in with his girlfriend next week, and thanked me for reassuring him that he doesn't want anyone but her. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2013 at 12:17am / United States (California) / Love

Today, it's been so long since I had sex that even in my sex dreams I'm watching porn alone. FML

by Anathema_360 / 05/30/2015 at 11:22am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.