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Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30138) - you deserved it (3232)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I learned how unhappy my husband is in our marriage. Apparently he also can't find a good woman. We didn't have a heart-to-heart, I read his woes in a blog. FML

#16542876
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28992) - you deserved it (3232)

On 06/07/2011 at 5:28am - love - by S. Tucker - United States

Today, I was late for class. I have extreme social anxiety, so I quietly slipped into the huge, packed auditiorium, trying to be as quiet as possible. When I was almost to my seat, I accidentally kicked a teacher's coffee down the steps. The entire class looked at me and clapped. FML

#20069005
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21458) - you deserved it (3232)

On 09/12/2012 at 4:11pm - misc - by conspicuous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML

#20762512
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49083) - you deserved it (3232)

On 07/03/2013 at 10:40pm - animals - by nakedweddingday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the "man cold" has infected my brother. He honestly thinks he's dying. He only has the sniffles. FML

#20982595
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34518) - you deserved it (3232)

On 12/06/2013 at 7:21am - health - by linzl00 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

#21265612
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34407) - you deserved it (3232)

On 09/26/2014 at 2:56am - love - by bri_sci94 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I took a cough drop to soothe my sore throat, only to choke, gag, and spend the next ten minutes at the point of vomiting because the bitter lozenge got stuck in my windpipe. FML

#13251603
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20467) - you deserved it (3231)

On 09/29/2010 at 5:29pm - health - by bitter cherry - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33443) - you deserved it (3231)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML

#17845836
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23586) - you deserved it (3231)

On 09/27/2011 at 4:28am - health - by toughbf (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML

#20797503
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47746) - you deserved it (3231)

On 07/22/2013 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

#20995711
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36663) - you deserved it (3231)

On 12/17/2013 at 10:38am - health - by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I walked into work looking like I had peed myself, all because my husband thought it would be "hilarious" to slam on the brakes while I was drinking hot coffee. FML

#16371411
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29924) - you deserved it (3230)

On 05/27/2011 at 11:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother-in-law visited the house while my husband and I were at work. When we returned, we discovered she'd shredded and thrown away all the scribbled on papers sprawled on our messy desks. We're graphics designers. Those were rough sketches for about 14 different clients. FML

#16605766
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42361) - you deserved it (3229)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Mirorbo (woman) - United States (California)



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