Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom still hasn't gotten over the novelty of our brand new microwave. We've been eating hot pockets for nearly a week now. FML

#17281268
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25060) - you deserved it (3117)

On 07/27/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by ladytyy - United States (Illinois)

Today, our Christmas tree was damaged beyond repair after my son and his friends borrowed it for a little experiment. They tied balloons to the branches and tried to make it fly, after seeing a similar video online. FML

#18468600
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21206) - you deserved it (3117)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:44pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

#20807935
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42476) - you deserved it (3119)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52111) - you deserved it (3117)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML

#21010566
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45019) - you deserved it (3117)

On 12/30/2013 at 3:28pm - health - by bad luck skier - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML

#3611862
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53173) - you deserved it (3116)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

#8642847
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36740) - you deserved it (3116)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by Ringless - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML

#13567439
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23938) - you deserved it (3116)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:50pm - misc - by ugly me - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my best friend is moving to Arkansas, and my girlfriend is going with him. FML

#12386734
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39845) - you deserved it (3116)

On 08/08/2010 at 4:49am - love - by LadyGagasLOVER (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML

#15029375
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30480) - you deserved it (3116)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML

#15151790
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31523) - you deserved it (3116)

On 02/28/2011 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

#19636486
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22811) - you deserved it (3116)

On 05/17/2012 at 11:02am - love - by Vero (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)

Today, when I arrived at work, I was greeted by my gorgeous co-worker telling me my red shirt looked awesome on me. Before I could compliment her, she added the color was fitting perfectly with my acne... I heard a couple of giggles around me. FML

#4835743
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43132) - you deserved it (3115)

On 08/26/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by 1nfected (man) - Canada (Quebec)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: