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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

#21106030
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45296) - you deserved it (3059)

On 04/06/2014 at 3:37pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I came home on leave from a 7 month deployment to Iraq. I wanted to see my girlfriend today, but she needed to spend time with her sick grandmother. As it turns out, her sick grandmother and my cousin are the same person. FML

#4467234
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55469) - you deserved it (3058)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:01am - love - by FUSMC (man) - United States (California)

Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML

#5476343
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40469) - you deserved it (3058)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, two guys proclaiming that they were both Batman attacked me on the street. FML

#17316735
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27708) - you deserved it (3058)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:17am - health - by The Joker? - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML

#14693370
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32450) - you deserved it (3057)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:11am - intimacy - by andifalls -

Today, I proudly presented my research project in class that I've worked for day and night for 3 weeks straight. My teacher fell asleep. FML

#18067100
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23251) - you deserved it (3057)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, our Christmas tree was damaged beyond repair after my son and his friends borrowed it for a little experiment. They tied balloons to the branches and tried to make it fly, after seeing a similar video online. FML

#18468600
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20533) - you deserved it (3057)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:44pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at a concert, I stepped into a restroom to use my nasal spray since my allergies were acting up. Apparently, someone thought that I had been snorting coke in the stall. I was escorted outside and had to wait for the cops until I could explain everything. I missed the headliner. FML

#20677338
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43167) - you deserved it (3057)

On 05/21/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the poster boy for my college. His picture is on the home page of the college website and on a banner in the cafeteria where I eat every day. FML

#20893327
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40021) - you deserved it (3057)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by justonce (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

#13475038
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34781) - you deserved it (3056)

On 10/16/2010 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML

#20144153
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21933) - you deserved it (3056)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:17am - work - by PieterseMJ - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

#20552364
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33979) - you deserved it (3056)

On 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

#20690777
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54306) - you deserved it (3056)

On 05/28/2013 at 4:09am - love - by really? (woman) - United States (California)



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